


It's a Long Way to Tipperary

by KelliDiane



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Historical, Alternate Universe - World War I, F/M, Post-World War I, chapter one takes places at the Battle of the Somme, girl!Niall, most of the sex in this is consensual but one scene is definitely rape and the other is dubious, the rest is six years later in 1922 with the english versus the IRA, this is a repost of an old story because i had to rework a lot of stuff, war buddies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-29
Updated: 2018-09-28
Packaged: 2019-05-15 16:01:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 6
Words: 49,903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14793567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KelliDiane/pseuds/KelliDiane
Summary: "You sure? I don’t want to uproot us, but I figure it would be best to do so before the kids started lessons or grow too attached to someone." He sighs and moves over so he’s next to his wife. He takes her hands in his and kisses at her cheek. "I know it’s short notice, but we need to leave tomorrow. It’ll be tough since it’s cold and rainy, but I’m just really worried."Niall bites her lip. She mentally says goodbye to Harry and nods. “I’ll start packing before the sun gets up.”ORNiall is a female that disguises herself to fight in the war. When she finally comes home, she ends up running for her life more than when she had bullets flying at her.





	1. Leave the Strand and Piccadilly or You'll be to Blame

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Check out the amazing art done by EvilFriendOfMine from Ao3!](http://ladsnightout.tumblr.com/post/178545433755/title-its-a-long-way-to-tipperary-author)

Harry is quiet as he moves down the trench back to his buddies. He had awoken having to take a piss and realised that the sun was starting to lighten the deep black to a light grey. He tries his hardest not to breathe as he moves back to his spot. The smell of burned flesh and rotting corpses is strong and he prefers to keep his meagre breakfast of stale and mouldy bread down. He makes it back to his post and quickly and quietly shakes the closest to him awake. “Hey. Time to get up. It’s gonna get pretty nasty real soon.”

Niall blinks, eyes opening wide. She groans stretching her arms out, yawning in the early morning light. “Fuck, I think I slept on a rock.”

Louis spits out a mouthful of dirt as he comes to. “Lucky. I thought it was my turn for a rock.” He stands, ducking slightly to ensure that he’s still below the top of the trench. “No one look. I got to piss.”

Liam rouses soon and scrunches his nose at the scent. “God. I thought I’d get used to the smell, but I think it’s just getting worse. All those men…”

Niall shoots Liam a look. “It’s for a good cause. God, I just wish I was in a bed.”

Zayn sighs sitting across from the other four. “I wish I was in my bed.”

"Look, we all wish we weren’t here, but look at the bright side. We met each other and now we’re best of friends." Harry says trying to put a positive spin on the gloomy bunch.

Louis turns back around as he zips up his fatigues and looks over at the other four. “True. I never thought I’d be friends with a posh Cheshire lad or an Irish mate.”

Niall flips Louis off laughing lightly. “Oh and I did see your dick. I see why you’re trying to compensate by coming out here.”

Zayn laughs situating his helmet back onto his head.

Harry just smiles and puts his helmet on. He checks over his gun to make sure it was in working order. He sees the stock pile of grenades and doesn’t want to think about having to use them.

"Really, Horan? I bet you twenty pounds that my dick is bigger than yours. Want to whip it out and prove me right?" Louis says with a giant grin as he straps his helmet on and grabs his ration of bread.

"Ha! I would, but I wouldn’t want to poke an eye out." There’s also the problem that she doesn’t have a dick and the others think she does have one.

Zayn crawls forward not even thinking when he gets in between Harry and Niall.

Liam rolls his eyes, but is always willing to take the piss out of Louis. “Wouldn’t challenge him, Tomlinson. I’ve seen his dick. Makes sense why the Irish outnumber us three to one.”

Harry laughs at that one and is about to comment when there’s a loud crack and boom filling the air. There’s soon more and it’s all one can hear. “Shit. Take your post!”

Niall closes her eyes licking over her lips. It hasn’t always been this way.

——————

_"Take good care of your mother for me, yeah?" Bobby says looking over at his son. "Don’t ever let her think I’m not coming home."  
Greg nods and tries his best to not look like he’s crying. “Course, da. She’ll be safe and well cared for.”_

_Bobby smiles lightly and looks over to his daughter. This was the hardest goodbye. He was so close with the girl. “Niall… Please just stay safe. I promise I won’t let those German bastards anywhere near the shores of Ireland. Not as long as I know you’re here.”_

_Niall uses the sleeve of her coat to wipe her tears away. “Why do you have to go, da?”_

_"Because King George demands that every able bodied male under his domain do his part. I have to go, iníon." Bobby kneels down so he’s at eye level with his precious daughter. "You know I’d never leave you if I had a choice."_

_Niall throws herself at him crying into his neck. “Why can’t I join? Only one member of the family really needs to serve.”_

_Bobby holds her close. “Because, filla, you aren’t a man. War is a man’s game, not a place for a young lady.” He pulls back and kisses her nose. “Besides, you and your brother are young. You have your whole life ahead of you.”_

_"But you do too! More than half left! Just please stay." Niall locks her arms around his neck refusing to let go._

_The boat lets out a loud roar as the smoke is released and the British officials are calling out a final farewell. “Let’s go, men! Say goodbye and get ready to push off!”_

_Bobby holds her tighter. “I love you, Niall. So, so much.” He cups the back of her head, stroking her dark brown locks. “Take care of yourself. I promise I’ll be back to see you down the aisle with your hair all done up.” He presses a kiss to her forehead before pulling away and standing up._

_Niall sobs into Greg’s chest feeling everything leave her body._

_——————_

_Greg was hauling the freshly slaughtered lamb into the kitchen when he saw them- two men dressed in the uniform of the Royal Army.  
"Ma? Niall?" He calls them from the rest of the house. He doesn’t want to face this alone._

_Niall walks down the staircase frowning the minute she sees Greg. “What’s wrong?”_

_"Two men from the Royal Army are heading our way. Get mum from bed." He looks down at her with apprehensive eyes. "I know she won’t leave for much anymore, but try your hardest."_

_Niall runs back up, her heart thumping against her sternum. “Ma? Ma, we need you.”_

_Maura looks over to the doorway where her daughter stands. “Not today, Niall. Any day but today.” She says quietly as she turns her back to her daughter. She tries her hardest not to think about the empty feeling on the other side of her bed._

_"Two people from the army are here, Ma." Niall already has a sinking feeling about why they’re here._

_Maura stills before she sits up and stiffly starts her routine of making herself presentable. “I’ll be down in a moment. I just… I need a minute to myself.” She swallowed the giant lump in her throat at the painfully tight sound that was her voice._

_"Alright." She trudges back to the kitchen relaying her words to Greg._

_"Wasn’t expecting much from her today. Her and da have been married twenty five years to the day today." He says with a sigh as a knock on the door echoes through the mostly silent house. "Get the door, Niall."_

_Niall doesn’t want to answer it, but she does anyway. “Oh, hello.”_

_"Hello, ma’am. Is this the Horan residence?" One of the men asks softly._

_Maura makes her way up behind her daughter. “It is. How can we be of service?”_

_The men look at each other before the same one speaks again. “Ma’am, we regret to inform you that your husband, Robert Horan, was killed in the line of action.”_

_Niall’s frozen for a few seconds. She grips onto the door frame, her entire body racking with sobs. “No! No, please this has to be a sick joke!”_

_The men look at each other before turning back to face the women. “Is there a Greg Horan here?”_

_Maura is doing her best to hold herself together. She pulls Niall into her arms and holds her close. “That’s… That’s my son.”_

_The man nods and pulls an envelope from his jacket and hands it to her. “These are his papers. He’s expected at the docks in three days’ time.”_

_Niall starts crying holding onto Maura tightly. “Please don’t take him!”_

_"You should be proud to have your family fighting in the Great War. Most families only have one male to give." The man says before nodding at the two and turning to leave._

_Maura pulls Niall tighter to her and shuts the door. “Niall, go to your room please. I have to talk to Greg.”_

_"No! No, I don’t want to go!" Niall is trembling all over her fingers digging into her mum’s arms._

_Greg steps in from the kitchen and sighs. “Niall, don’t worry. Everything will be okay.”_

_"Greg, they want you." Maura says quietly. Her voice seems like a shout though in the mostly quietly room._

_Greg blinks a few times before trying to school his face into one of indifference. “When do I ship out then?”_

_"You’re not going to ship out! You’re going to tell them to fuck off! They can’t have you! They already took dad they can’t have you too!" Niall falls back onto the couch. She’s never cried so much before in her life._

_Greg sighs and sits down next to her. “Niall, you know it doesn’t work like that. If I don’t go, they’ll come here and forcibly take me.” He combs his fingers through her hair. “I’m just glad that you can’t be enlisted. If anything happened to you I’d never forgive myself.”_

_"But I want to go in! I’m sick and tired of being pushed away like I can’t handle this! I want to join the war!" Niall’s shouting fingernails digging into the upholstery of her couch._

_"Niall, don’t talk like that. I don’t want you anywhere near that awful war. I’m not letting anything happen to you." Maura says with a hint of desperation. "I already lost your father. I won’t lose you too."_

_"Why aren’t women allowed in? I’m capable of doing the labour!" She gets back up feeling determination._

_"It’s not a matter of labour. It’s a matter of you being a woman. You aren’t built for war." Greg says exasperatedly._

_Maura shakes her head. “You can't go. That’s the end of this discussion.”_

——————

Louis ducks down as dirt rains down around them. “This isn’t working! We’re fucking sitting ducks!”

Liam is sitting on the floor of the trench trying to collect all the medical supplies. “We need more morphine. We’re almost out!”

"How are we going to get anymore?" Niall yells dirt and rocks hitting her helmet.

"Not really a concern right now." Harry says as he fires back at the enemy trying to kill them.

Louis stands up a bit straighter, trying to see over the edge of the trench. His head rebounds back a bit as a bullet pings off the front of the metal covering. “Jesus!” He ducks down a bit, taking the covering off and inspecting the dent. “Guess it’s my lucky day after all.”

Niall leans over to inspect it when it happens. A bullet speeds by, wedging itself between Louis’ eyes. Blood sprays out streaking Niall’s face.

"Louis!" Liam’s at his side in a second checking his pulse and breathing. "Dammit!"

Harry looks over in shock at his fallen comrade. The look of shock is frozen on Louis’ face and Harry can’t look. “Li, close his eyes. I can’t… God.”

Niall’s breathing is ragged looking between the three of them. “Anyone have a towel?”

Liam nods. “Not really a necessity on the battlefield.” He leans over and shuts the eyes of his friend. “This is absolute hell.”

"I know; just thought I’d ask." Niall tries wiping it away with her hand, but it only smears it.

Zayn keeps his eyes averted. “Now we really have to kill these bastards.”

"We can’t do anything from here. We need more supplies." There’s a pause in artillery fire in their sector and Harry looks around and realises that they’re the only four around. "We need to move into another trench."

Niall isn’t really thinking. She climbs up the trench as fast as possible on her hands and knees running across the flat land. She braces herself for what’s to come.  
Harry watches his buddy go. “Niall! Niall, get back here! Niall!”  
——————

_Niall looks up at her name being called. She gets up from the plastic chair heading over to the burly man._

_"Nice to meet you, son. Now, let’s get your physical done so we can deploy you." The man says gruffly as he grabs a clipboard and motions him back to an examination room._

_Niall nods following after. Her head feels lighter now that her hair is short and the bandages are constricting her chest, but it’s a small price to pay._

_"So your records are pretty incomplete. It says you’re an orphan? Well, we’re just going to get your height, weight, and blood type." He motions for the boy to stand against the wall so he could measure the boy._

_"I am an orphan." Niall presses her back against the wall closing her eyes. She’s waiting for them to find her out._

_He’s only half listening- staring at a nurse across the way. The measuring tape falls and he glances down. “Five foot seven.” He pulls Niall over to the scale and pushes him onto the weight. “One thirty, pretty average. You’re perfect for trench warfare.”_

_"Great." Niall keeps the sarcasm out of her voice. This is what she wants though._

_"I need to take a blood sample. Just to get your blood type." He grabs the needle and syringe and looks over at the boy. "You’ll be shipped off probably tomorrow or the next day."_

_"Sounds good actually." She holds an arm out rolling the sleeve of her shirt up._

_——————_

_Louis pops his head over the top bunk to look down at his new partner. “Hey, mate. I’m Louis. You got a nudey magazine hidden in your bag? I need a quick go before starting to kill people.”_

_Niall is just lying out her hands behind her head. She raises an eyebrow chuckling. “Uh, no. Sorry I didn’t bring any. I didn’t really think that would be appropriate given our situation.”_

_"Figures. You’re what? Eighteen? You probably haven’t even seen a naked woman yet." Louis groans, but smiles at his bunk mate. "Just kidding, mate. You from Ireland then? Sick accent."_

_"Uh… Yeah. Eighteen, from Ireland, male you know." Niall’s so awkward at these sort of things._

_Louis chuckles before going silent. “They give you any training before throwing you into this hell hole?”_

_"Nope. I think they assume that I know what I’m doing. Never even held a gun before." She shrugs._

_Louis scrunches his nose. “Word of advice? Point the gun away from you and me.” He sighs and rolls back over in his bed. “Just hope you last longer than my last bunkmate. He was Irish too.”_

_Niall nods. “What was his name? Ireland is a pretty tightly knit clan. It’s possible I knew him or at least someone who knew him.” That and the fact that she had been assigned to the same regiment her brother had. She was going to find him and take him home. That’s her plan._

_"Greg. He was here for two days. Lost him after that." He says softly. "We aren’t sure if he’s dead or if the Germans got him. We just… We don’t know."_

_"Do… Do you know his last name?" She’s riding on this answer._

_Louis groans as he racks his brain for the answer. “Not off the top of my head. Didn’t really get to know each other very much.” He looks at the ceiling. “He talked about his sister and mum mostly. He was worried his mum wouldn’t survive another death in their family.”_

_Niall shuts her eyes tears streaming down her flushed cheeks._

_Louis frowns and looks back over the bunk. “Are you crying? Oh god. You do know him. I thought you were just joking about Irish people knowing everyone.”_

_"He was my brother." Niall hides her face in her hands trying to muffle her sobs._

_Louis quickly climbs down and looks around before crawling in with his new bunkmate. “Hey, I’m sorry. He never mentioned having a brother.”_

_Niall doesn’t blame him, trying to hide her face away in the pillow._

_"It’s okay. You’re okay. Don’t worry." He says soothingly rubbing at his back. He furrows his brows when he feels an extra layer of… Something under the back of the boy’s shirt. He lets his hand wander around to the front of the military issued bed shirts and feels the binding under his fingers. "He never mentioned a brother because he doesn’t have one. You’re his sister, aren’t you?"_

_Niall bites into her lip. “Please, please don’t say anything. I’ll do whatever, just don’t tell anyone. I came here to find my brother and now… I guess I came here to die.”_

_Louis sighs and rests his head against her shoulder. “Fine. Can you do me a favour though?”_

_“Anything.”_

_“Can you be my shag while we’re over here? I know it sounds wrong, but I’ve already been here for two years. This war tore me away from my family and it’s just hell. I get it, I’m older than you, ten years older, but... “_

_Niall nods quickly. “I told you anything. I… I’ve never been with a man, but I can certainly do that for you. You’re keeping my secret. I can give you my body.”_

_Louis winces. “Don’t say it like that. It makes it sound creepy. Maybe just think of it as a benefit to being friends with each other.”_

_Smiling softly and nodding, Niall agrees. She’ll gladly do whatever he wants because out here there is no consequences. Out here is where she’s going to die._

_——————_

_Harry looks around at the men he’s being thrown into battle with. He has Zayn and Liam with him from the last battle, but there’s two new guys that’s he’s never met. The five of them have been told to hunker down in the trench together. “So… I’m Harry. I’m from Cheshire. Eighteen years old and torn from my home by this god forsaken war.”_

_"Zayn, Bradford, twenty one." He smiles softly rubbing at his smooth jaw._

_"I’m Niall. I’m from Mullingar. I’m eighteen too." She offers an awkward wave._

_"Louis from Doncaster. Nice to see another Yorkshire lad in the field. Guess I’m going to be the oldest at twenty eight. Means you all have to listen to me though, right?" He says with a pat on Zayn’s shoulder._

_Liam smiles. “Liam, Wolverhampton, twenty. I’m the doctor of our small little group then.”_

_"Well that’ll come in handy then! Ah, man you’re all so tall." Niall pouts staring up at all of them._

_Harry laughs and ruffles the boy’s hair. “Pretty sure it pays to be short in trench warfare.”_

_Louis nods and slings an arm around Niall’s shoulders. “True. So only Niall and I are making it out of here. You’re all too tall.”_

_Zayn laughs rolling his eyes. “Yeah, we’ll see about that.”_

_Niall feels more comfortable than she thought she would._

——————

Liam grabs Louis’ gun and ammo, stripping the body of anything valuable before climbing out and running after the brunet. “Niall!”

Harry looks after Zayn and sighs. “Let’s get after them.”

Zayn groans jumping up and scrambling across the field hearing bullets whiz by nearly hitting him.

Harry is right behind Zayn, keeping his eyes on Niall the entire time. “Already lost one, can’t lose another.” He whispers to himself.

Niall has her gun drawn shots being fired. A pop fires followed by an immense pain in her side. Her boots skid across the dirt tumbling into the trench.

"Niall!" Liam dives into the trench and lands next to her on a dead soldier. "Oh god."

Harry speeds up and pushes Zayn into the trench. There’s blood saturating the soil and he’s worried. It’s fresh and the source is his best friend. “Oh, shit. Niall… Liam, do something!”

Niall moans eyes staring at the large expanse of blue sky, one hand lying haphazardly on her stomach.

Liam moves his hand, pressing gauze against the wound. “You’re going to be okay. Don’t worry. I’m not going to let you die.”

Harry looks over and sees a medic down the trench a bit, dead. He runs down the dirt tunnel and grabs the kit by the dead body. “Liam! I got morphine!”

Zayn is by Niall’s side squeezing his hand. “You’re going to be just fine, Niall, just fine.”

Liam unzips the thin summer overcoat and starts to peel the shirt away. “I need morphine and water and…” He stops as he pulls the shirt back to find tightly wound cloth around the chest. “Niall?”

Harry runs back with the supplies and stops when he sees the body. “You’re… You’re a girl?”

Niall shuts her eyes fingers digging through the soil. “Yeah, yeah I am.”

Harry swallows the lump in his throat before shaking himself out of his stupor. “Okay. Okay, Liam patch her up. She doesn’t deserve this.”

Liam nods, grabbing the kit and stabbing her in the arm with the morphine injection. “It’s going to be okay. I’ll fix you up.” He grabs the tools he needs to pull the bullet from her torso.

Niall looks at all three of them. “I didn’t mean to lie to any of you.”

Harry’s at her other side, grabbing her hand. “It’s okay. I think it’s very noble. Pretending to be a man to serve his Royal Highness.”

Niall laughs regretting it almost immediately. “I came here to die.”

"You did? Why? You should be at home happily married and popping out kids." Liam starts with a watery chuckle as he manages to grab the back of the bullet and pulls it out quickly.

Niall hisses, glaring at Liam. “My father and brother died out here and I couldn’t stand the idea of being safe at home while they were in danger. My mother shut herself away after my brother shipped out and I just needed to go. I thought this would be a noble way to die, trying to fight. King George can kiss my ass.”

Liam pours his canteen of water on the wound, clearing it of blood and dirt. “Hey, don’t go blaming King George.”

Harry swallows the lump in his throat. “I’m sorry about your family. I don’t think anyone should go through that.”

Niall feels tears coming down her face. “Just let me die here. I have nothing and no one to live for.”

Harry smiles softly. “Don’t say that. You have me. You’ll always have me.”

————

_Niall is in the trench about a week after training. She’s sitting next to Harry staring up at the stars shining down._

_Harry smiles up at the stars before looking over at Niall. “So how close are you and Louis? He seems really… Handsy with you.”_

_Niall flushes. “We’ve gotten each other off. Just you know relieves stress for both of us.”_

_"Oh. So you’re… A bit bent then?" Harry says with a shrug. "Either way, I don’t care. It’s your choice."_

_"Yeah, bent would be the word for it." Niall laughs at that, but doesn’t let Harry in on the joke._

_"That’s, uh, that’s great. I have to bunk off when I’m alone. No one needs to see that. Not that confident." He chuckles and shifts in the trench._

_Niall watches him from the corner of her eye. It’s hard not to fall for him- she’s pretty sure she already has. “You’re an attractive guy.”_

_Harry looks at her, blush on his cheeks. “Thanks. Just don’t think I’d find someone to be that way with.” He looks back up at the sky. “No one back home would even look at me twice. Too awkward for them I guess.”_

_Niall leans over guiding Harry’s face back around, planting a kiss to his lips._

_Harry smiles and pulls back. “Thanks, Niall. I’m sure some guy or girl will be lucky to snatch you up. Tomlinson sure is lucky to have you.”_

_"I don’t want Louis though." She kisses him again, but this time much longer._

_He doesn’t pull away, but he makes no move to reciprocate. When she pulls back he licks at his suddenly dry lips. “Look, Niall, I’m flattered- really I am- but I don’t like guys that way.”_

_Niall does not take no for an answer. She starts palming him, eyes locked on his own._

_Harry’s breath catches in his throat and he tries his hardest to not let Niall see just how much this is affecting him. He’ll let Niall have his fun. His eyes slip closed and his head tips back a bit with the pleasure. He’s only human._

_The smirk grows on Niall’s face undoing his pants and tugging on his cock. Her mouth waters as she sees the head, already swollen and dripping. “Fuck. You’re gorgeous.”_

_The sounds that Harry is trying to repress are slipping through in small breathy shakes as he digs his fingers into his thighs. His brow furrows and his mouth drops open in a small moan as Niall’s rough and calloused hands come in contact with his feverish and sensitive skin._

_"You’re bigger than Lou, biggest dick I’ve handled." The only other one she’s handled. Niall spreads his legs climbing in between them. She captures the head in her mouth beginning to bob up and down._

_"Fuck." Harry gets a hand pressed against the short hairs on the back of his comrade’s neck and warns him before coming fast in his mouth._

_Niall swallows everything cleaning his dick off with her tongue. “So you don’t like boys, hm?”_

_Harry breathes heavily trying to catch his breath. He can’t speak. All he can do his stare at the boy who has his cum staining the corner of his mouth._

_"Nice chatting with you, Harry." Niall crawls off to speak to Louis and Zayn._

_——————_

_Niall watches everyone with letters they received from back home. It’s something she wishes she could get, but it’s not like any of her family actually knows where she is._

_“How’s your family, Haz?” Curiously she leans towards him trying to get a better glimpse._

_The curly haired boy looks up with a soft smile. “My sister got married last month. Mum said the honeymoon was to Ireland since it’s the only country not hit by the war.”_

_Louis looks over at Niall with a sad smile. “Bet it’s the only place in the world that still looks beautiful.”_

_Niall sighs looking towards the ground. “Yeah, it’s always been beautiful.”_

_Zayn smiles staring at a picture he got from his envelope._

_Louis looks over at the Yorkshire lad and tries to climb over him to see what he’s holding. “What’s that, Z? Nudey picture of your wife?”_

_Zayn shakes his head handing it over to Louis. He adds an eye roll in. “You and nude pictures I swear.”_

_Louis doesn’t say anything back as he looks down at the picture in his hand. He smiles lightly and traces a finger over the sheet in his hand. “Zayn, they’re beautiful.”_

_"Yeah. That’s my wife and my daughter. She’s six. Can’t believe I’ve missed two years of her growing up." He sighs wishing he could have stayed behind._

_Louis smiles lightly. “My wife is raising our son by herself right now. He just turned twelve. I’m sure she’s got her hands full with him. If he acts how I did at that age, god help her.”_

_Liam frowns. “You'll see her soon, mate. This was can't last forever.”_

_"Yeah? Everyone thought this would be a quick war. Now look at us? We're out here for months and the Germans are close to killing all of us. The fucking Americans need to help us soon or we're done for." Louis shrugs. He rubs a hand over the heart of his jacket subconsciously. It felt like a knife was stabbing him there._

_Niall looks over at him feeling a lump in her throat. She tries hinting to Louis after that. “Hey, Lou? I think we need to, uh, stop spending time alone.”_

_Louis frowns. “We’ll discuss that later. For now, let’s see what Payno got!”_

_"Just a letter from my mum. Apparently my dad misses me." Liam says with a shrug._

_Zayn nods looking over at Niall. “Did you get anything?”_

_Niall sighs eyeing her lap. “No, I didn’t. It’s not a big deal.”_

_Harry frowns. “When’s the last time you got a letter from home? As far as I can remember, you’ve never gotten a letter.”_

_"That’s horrible!" Liam exclaims from his seat._

_"That’s because I’ve never gotten one." Niall shrugs. She’s not sad by it._

_Louis looks around. “I’m sure there’s a reason. It’s okay though. We’ll just have to make sure to get you home safely.”_

_A shout throughout the trenches tells them all that it’s time to douse the fires and get some sleep before the fighting resumes. Niall gets up stretching slightly. She stalks off to get some water._

_Harry frowns and pockets the letter from his family and heads after Niall. “Hey… You okay?”_

_Niall shrugs. “I’m fine; it’s no big deal. I just don’t have any family.”_

_He heads over and wraps his arms around Niall’s shoulders and pulls him close. “What happened to them?”_

_"Dead, most of them. Don’t want to talk about it." She pushes his arm off._

_He sighs and grabs her wrist. “Hey… I’m sorry. I just feel this need to protect and cheer you up.”_

_"You don’t need to protect or cheer me up. I’m capable of taking care of myself thanks." She tries walking off again._

_Harry doesn’t let him go though and pulls him close again. “You’ve taken care of me plenty. It’s my turn.” He leans down and presses his lips to his friend’s own._

_Niall kisses back- mostly still in shock. She’s wanted Harry since the moment they met, but the circumstances just aren’t right. They’ll never be right._

_Harry wraps an arm around Niall’s back and holds him tightly. Quietly and effortlessly, he starts to undo the front of the male’s army fatigue pants._

_"No! No, don’t!" Niall pushes Harry away starting to redo what he undid._

_Harry frowns. “But I… I want to make you feel good. Why can Louis do it, but not me?”_

_"Harry it’s not that. I just don’t want to…I mean, I do but I can’t…" She feels terrible and there’s nothing more that she wants than for Harry to go down on her, but Louis already knows and she can’t let someone else know._

_"No, I get it. Louis was here first. It’s no big deal." Harry says softly as he pulls away and licks at his bottom lip. He backs away and looks over his shoulder. "We should get some sleep."_

_Niall wants to tell Harry she’s not interested in Louis, all she wants is him, but she can’t help but bite her tongue. It’s better he thought she wanted nothing to do with him than anything else._

——————

Liam quickly hauls Niall to a sitting position. “Zayn, hold her up. I need to wrap the bandage like a bodice so it’s tight.”

Harry looks back as the gunfire dies down. “She’s going to make it… Right?”

Zayn looks solemnly at Harry. Niall’s been unconscious for a good ten minutes. “Doesn’t look good to me, but I’m not the medic.”

Liam looks up at them, with a small smile. “Her chances are better than Louis’ were. I think that since the bullet is gone and it’s clean and bandaged, she’ll be okay.”

"Do you think they’ll send her home after this?" Harry says quietly.

Zayn worries his lip. “She got wounded, but she’s okay so I don’t really know.”

"But she’s a girl. She shouldn’t be here in the first place." Harry says as he brushes her hair back a bit. "Or will they court marshall her and disgrace her?"

"When they find out she’s a woman who knows what might happen." Zayn sighs feeling bad.

"They wouldn’t kill her or anything… Right?" Harry’s voice isn’t anything more than a whisper. Mainly because he doesn’t want to entertain the thought, but also because without the gunfire, it’s eerily quiet.

"I don’t want anything to happen to her." Zayn runs his fingertips down her stomach.

Harry sits down and shifts Niall into his arms. “You know, I’m actually really excited that Niall ended up being a girl. I was starting to question why Louis and her were hooking up.”

"Is it wrong for two guys to hook up?" Zayn raises an eyebrow.

"Not at all." Harry says shrugging. "Louis has a wife back in Doncaster though and- Oh god… Louis’ wife back home; his son.”

Zayn stares at the ground tears leaking. “This entire situation sucks! This war sucks! Louis’ child won’t have a father, Niall has no one to return to- this is so fucked up!”

Liam swallows the lump in his throat. “What about Louis’ body? It needs to go back to Doncaster. Someone needs to go and get him.”

Harry bites at his lip. “There’s no gunfire. Do you think it’s safe to go back up there?”

"Of course not. Why don’t we wait until nightfall?" Zayn can’t think of a better time.

Harry nods and looks down at the girl in his arms. “The fact that she’s braving this war because she wants to is amazing. She’s braver than any of those stupid generals.”

"She came to die. I can’t help but think that’s more cowardly than anything." The darker male sighs rubbing at her hand.

Harry shrugs. “I just… Every time we couldn’t sleep, we talked- we got to know each other. There’s just so much about her that you don’t know.”

"Your lips got to know her." Zayn murmurs settling back.

"Well, that helps." Harry says with a laugh. "She just… I would have loved to know her before the war."

"You think she would have been your bird then?" Zayn looks at Harry smiling.

Harry blushes and looks down at the unconscious girl. “Possibly. I can only imagine how great she would look with longer hair and an unbound chest.”

"She looks fine with short hair too." Zayn moves her helmet away touching her hair.

"Definitely. I’m just saying that it would be nice to run my fingers through her long hair." Harry says as he holds her closer. "Just want her to wake up."

Zayn shakes her arm slightly waiting for her to wake up. He’s just as anxious as Harry is and wants to see her eyes open.

Niall’s eyes flutter open staring right up at Harry. They can all tell she’s still a bit out of it, but they chalk it up to the morphine rather than anything more serious. If they don’t think about it, it didn’t happen.

"Hey… You feel any better? Liam managed to get a tight bandage over it and the morphine should be in effect by now." Harry says softly as he wipes a smudge of dirt from her cheekbone.

Liam chuckles. “The morphine is probably what put her to sleep.”

Niall licks over her lips. “I’m okay. It could be a lot worse I suppose.”

Harry nods and smiles down at her before jumping at the sound of gunfire starting again. This time it was closer- a lot closer.

Liam peeked over the trench top. “The Germans advanced. We moved forward a trench and they moved forward two.”

Niall sits up getting her gun. “We need to cut them down. Now otherwise we’re all going to die.”

Liam pushes her back down. “You’re not doing anything except resting.” He takes the gun from her hands and cocks it so it’s ready to go. “We’ll take care of it.”

Niall glares. “This is why I fucking didn’t want any of you knowing I’m a girl! Give me the fucking gun back!”

Harry furrows his brows. “This isn’t because you’re a girl. This is because you’ve already been shot. I watched Louis die, I’m not watching you die too.”

"Right. Come on, boys. Let’s get this shit done." Liam says with a fierce determination.

Niall snatches the gun away from Harry. “It doesn’t matter if I’m hurt or not. We’re brothers and I’m not going to let you three handle this.”

Liam crawls up and aims at an advancing German troop before pulling the trigger and watching as the man grabs at his neck where the artery had been hit and slowly sinks to his knees before falling completely. “Niall, before I hit you with the gun to knock you back out, just shut up and give Harry the gun.”

"Fuck off," Niall hisses. She gets her gun in position firing, watching two men fall.

Harry looks around for an extra gun and finds one- Louis’ he realises as his fingers brush over the etched LT on the barrel- and takes a position next to Niall and drops another guy. “At least get your helmet on real quick.”

Liam looks over at Zayn and tries to convey hope with his eyes. “Come on, Bradford. The sooner we blow these bastards away, the sooner you get home to your wife and daughter.”

Zayn laughs. He reaches over grabbing Niall’s helmet positioning it on her head for her.

There’s a constant back and forth of fire and Harry can see the enemy dropping as they fire at them. It’s sad that so many innocent men have to die.

There’s a shout from a ways down the trench and gunfire being exchanged there. Liam looks panicked over at the other three still standing. “They’ve taken this trench.”

Zayn is the first to see a man coming up. He shoves Niall out of the way as he feels something pierce his neck.

"Fucking shit!" Liam yells as he places a bullet straight in the enemy’s heart. He turns to see Zayn, a bloodied mess.

Harry is already there, trying to get Zayn to lie still but move at the same time because he’s practically on top of Niall. “What were you thinking, Malik!”

Niall straightens up wrapping her arms around him. She presses her hand against his bloody neck. “Zayn, why?”

Zayn’s extremely pale trying to look at her. “I… Y-you’re my f-friend.”

"Guys, we have to get moving. We have to move back a trench." Liam says solemnly.

Harry looks at him in shock. “You’re a doctor dammit! Do something!”

"It hit an artery or close to one. There’s nothing I can do." Liam says as he looks down to Zayn bleeding all over Niall. "I’m so sorry, Zayn."

Niall feels tears streaming down her cheeks. She leans over kissing him as best as she could. She can feel him slip away.

Harry pushes Liam against the dirt wall. “Why didn’t you do anything? First Louis, now Zayn! You want us dead!”

"I don’t want you dead! There was nothing I could do for them!" Liam yells back, tears gathering in his eyes. "If you think I want them to die then you don’t know me at all."

Niall shoves at Harry’s chest. “Get your shit together otherwise we’ll all die!”

Harry is ready to yell again when he hears the sound of airplanes overhead. He looks up to see guns blazing up ahead. “Reinforcements!”

Niall smiles slumping against the hard earth behind her. “Thank God.”

There’s the roar of tanks and men running alongside it. One man comes up to the edge of the trench. “Is anyone hurt?”

Liam nods. “Yes! Niall needs surgical attention and Harry took a blow to the head. I need to check him for a concussion. They need to be sent back to the base camp.”

Harry frowns before catching on. “Yeah. We need to get Zayn and Louis’ bodies.”

He nods his head. “Why don’t you three head back and we’ll get the bodies taken care of.”

"Please. We can’t leave them." Liam says as he throws one of Niall’s arms around his shoulder and gets Harry to support her other side.

They make their way up and out of the trenches. “Sorry, Niall. I think your cover is blown at this point.”

Niall shushes them. “Let’s just get the fuck out. For some reason my side hurts.”

——————

Niall is glad to have the surgery over and done with, but she’s missing her shirt and binding. She’s topless with her breasts free and exposed. It’s weird that she misses the binding as much as she does considering it was never comfortable, but she guesses that months in hiding that ingrained that constricting feeling around her chest into her mind.

Harry tugs on the sheet before pulling it aside slightly. “Oh… Uh, can Liam and I come in or do you want a shirt first?”

"I don’t care." Niall murmurs looking at the stitches on her side. She’s definitely sore.

Liam pushes Harry in and shuts the curtain. “Heard they’re sending you home.”

"Yeah. I’m a woman, of course they are. Assholes don’t seem to get that I managed to do everything even if I am a woman. These," Niall grabs at her chest moving her hands, "mean nothing."

"If it’s any consolation, they look great." Harry says without thinking. He looks over her body with a blush. "God, how long were you bound? Wouldn’t that hurt?"

Niall blushes herself. “I was careful to undo it at night. It hurt at first, but I got used to it.”

Liam frowns and sits down by her side. “I’m just going to make sure everything is okay.” He reaches forward and presses at the areas around the swell of her breasts. “Things seem okay, some tissue around the sides feel a bit tough which could be stress from being trapped, or they’re dying cells. Either way, I don’t think they’re growing anymore.”

Harry frowns. “What are you going to when you get back home? Stay in the kitchen?”

Niall raises an eyebrow. “You just wanted an excuse to grab me.” She turns her gaze to Harry. “Fuck that. I’m going into the workforce. Or I could whore myself out.”

Liam smiles. “I promise I had better intentions, but it was nice to get my hands on a woman again.”

Niall chuckles. “Feel some more if it makes you feel any better. I won’t stop you.”

Liam shakes his head. “I’m good, but thanks. They aren’t mine to touch.” He looks at the makeshift curtain-door before looking back at his friend. “I’m going to head back out. They’re pretty short staffed of doctors and nurses and all the wounded are spilling out of the hospital tent. I’ll try and see you again before you leave. If I don’t get the chance,” he leans over and kisses her forehead. “I’ll miss you, Niall. Cockiest son of bitch I ever met, but sweetest woman I’ve had the pleasure of knowing.”

She smiles softly as she squeezes his hand and watches him go.

"So," Harry says taking a seat on the bed. "I’m assuming Louis knew that you weren’t a guy."

"We got each other off; he would have noticed my lack of a dick." Niall sighs kicking her legs.

Harry places a hand on her thigh to try and still her. “Stop, you’ll pop the stitching.” He smooths his hand over the army boxers she was still wearing. “They can get you boxers, but not a shirt?”

"They think the shirt would irritate it." Niall shrugs. She doesn’t mind.

He runs his fingers over the smooth expanse of her stomach. “Guess what this means though. I wasn’t lying when I told you I wasn’t into guys.”

Niall laughs nervously. “You weren’t complaining when I sucked you off now were you?”

"I guess not." Harry laughs lightly and looks up at her eyes. "I’m being shipped back to the front tomorrow. If I make it out of this god forsaken war, I’ll come visit you in Ireland."

"If you do that, I’ll fuck you." Niall laughs lightly leaning back. This is the last time she’ll ever see him.

He can’t help but laugh and smile at her. “That’ll keep me motivated.” He grabs her hand and holds it tightly. “I’ll miss having you by my side, but at least I’ll know you’re safe.”

Niall rolls her eyes. “I can very well take care of myself. I’m not some damsel in distress.”

"Trust me, I know. I still feel better about this." He looks down at the floor. "You really scared me out there when you passed out. I thought… I thought you were gone."

"You only care because I’m a bird that you can fuck. You wouldn’t have cared if I was a mate." She mumbles more to herself than anything.

Harry frowns and looks at her. “Hey, male or female- I didn’t want you to die. God, we lost Louis and Zayn so please don’t think I only care about you because of your gender.”

Niall sighs. It’s not that she doesn’t think he doesn’t care, but he’s suddenly interested in her now that she’s a girl.

"Do you remember that night when we were all sitting around looking at our mail? Do you remember what I was going to do until you pushed me away? I don’t care what you have, Niall. You’re an amazing person either way. And you’ve got bigger balls than any guy I’ve met in the service." Harry says quietly.

Niall smiles. “Go back out there and if you really come to Ireland, then you have a surprise waiting for you.”

"Write me. I’ll need some ray of Niall in my life." He squeezes her hand and stands up, pressing a quick kiss to her cheek. "I have to go. I leave in an hour for the front."

"I’ll see you later then." Niall waves smiling lightly.

———Six Years Later———

Sean walks in from the field out back of the house and smiles as his little four year old tottles over to him. He hefts his son up and places a kiss to the child’s cheek. “Hello, Aedan. Where’s mummy?”

Aedan giggles pointing towards the inside of the house.

Niall’s in the kitchen making a batch of biscuits. She figures that with the cool harsh sting of winter trying to make one final go of it her family deserved a nice treat.

He heads into the kitchen, bouncing his son as he went. He can see the bassinet in the corner of the kitchen away from the stove where his beautiful six month old daughter was sleeping. “Well if it isn’t the most gorgeous girl in all of Ireland. Aedan, why is she in our kitchen? She’s too beautiful for all this. She should be out changing the world.”

Niall laughs turning to face both of them. “Whatever, beautiful my arse. Daddy is mental.”

Sean just smiles and heads over to kiss her tenderly. “I missed you. It was horrible today. Now that the Great War is over, there’s talk of war with England for our independence.”

Niall sighs. “I’ve already been in war. I don’t need to be living in one.”

Aeden kicks his legs trying to get down.

Sean lets Aedan down and pulls his wife close. “If it comes to war, I’m sending you and the kids to England. There won’t be bloodshed on their land, only here.” He rests his forehead against hers and grabs her hips to hold her in place. “Have I ever told you how brave I think you are for going to war?”

Niall smiles back catching his lips with hers. It’s been a full six years since she was discharged. Her hair grew back into her long brown curls and she met Sean. So far things have been great and her mum got over her rut and put time into her grandchildren.

A knock on the door interrupts their moment and Sean pulls back from the plush warmth of his wife’s lips. “I’ll get it. Can you start dinner? I have a meeting tonight so I have to bathe again.” He heads away before she can answer and opens the door of their home to see a curly haired man at their step. “Hullo! Can I help you, sir?”

The man smiled and looked door at the step he was standing on. “Is this the residence of a Miss Niall Horan?”

Niall can hear her name being called. She wonders to the front door eyes widening in surprise. “Harry?”

"Hey… I made it through the war." He smiles softly. His eyes rake over her taking in the differences the years have done to her. "You look so different with long hair."

Sean steps back and invites the man in. “You know him, love?”

"I fought alongside him in the war. One of the only bunkmates that actually survived." Niall closes the door looking towards him. "So you found me. Didn’t think you’d ever come to Ireland." She feels her heart swell.

"Yeah. All I knew was your name and Mullingar. It took a while, but I found you." Harry says with a small smile.

Sean places a kiss to his wife’s hair and murmurs that he’s going to his meeting and that he’ll give them time to catch up. “I’ll take Aedan with me. We’ll eat at the pub.”

"What about Teagen? I know that’s a lot to handle, but maybe drop her off at grandma’s?" Niall just wants to be alone with Harry.

Sean nods. “I can do that. We’ll be out of your hair soon enough.” He heads up the stairs, calling Aedan to get his best dress on.

Harry watches the man go before turning back to Niall. “He seems lovely. Husband, I presume. How’d you meet?”

"Met at a memorial service. They were holding one for Irish veterans. I’m surprised you actually came though." Niall sits on the sofa inviting Harry over.

Harry laughs and sits at the other end of the small couch. “I told you I would come if I made it out alive. I won’t lie, it was scary as hell and I watched so many friends die, but I thank God I made it. After being shot seven times, I thought my luck was running out.”

"Seven times? That’s something else, Harry." She smiles resting her chin in her open palm.

He unbuttons his shirt a bit to show her the scarring at his shoulder. “Liam patched me up every time except the last.”

"Why not the last?" Niall scoots over lightly tracing her finger over his skin.

"He was shot in the back. He didn’t make it." Harry whispers and looks down at the couch.

Sean comes back down the stairs with Aedan before hurrying and grabbing Teagan. “I’ll be home later, love. Nice to meet you, Harry.”

"Bye, Sean. I love you. Love you, Aedan." She waves goodbye, watching Sean grab their daughter before leaving.

Harry waits until the door is shut before speaking. “You have a wonderful family. Sean’s a very lucky man.”

Niall grabs his chin kissing him on the lips. “I believe we had a deal.”

"I mean, you just said I’d get a surprise." Harry said a bit breathlessly. "What about Sean?"

"I love Sean, very much. I remember my words being ‘if you come to Ireland I’ll fuck you.’" She stands up and hurries into the kitchen to take her family’s treat from the oven so they won’t burn.

Harry stands with her and follows until he leans against the entryway of the kitchen. “Niall, you said that when you weren’t a wife and mother. I’ll understand if you’ve changed your mind.” He wants her still after all this time. He won’t hold her to her words though. Her life has changed; he’s changed. He won’t be the one to break apart a family.

"I don’t want to sleep in my marital bed. That seems cruel to Sean. Let me grab a blanket and we’ll go for a drive.” She sees Sean’s old tartan blanket draped across the back of his armchair. She hesitates for only a moment before grabbing it and her coat and pushing Harry out the door.

Harry nods and waits as she locks her home up. He makes sure to open her car door for her. “You have any spots in mind? I don’t really know Ireland that well.”

"I know a nice cliff overlooking the city. It’s beautiful." She smiles, shutting her door and watching as he walks around to his own side.

Getting in, Harry smiles as he starts the car and heads away. “I was right you know.”

"Right about what?" She points a few times letting him know when and where to turn.

Harry stops the car at the overlook and smiles brightly at her. “You look absolutely amazing with longer hair.” He runs his hand down her long locks.

Niall blushes looking to her hands. “Thanks. You don’t look so bad yourself, you know.”

He leans over and kisses softly at her cheek. “Are you sure you want to do this?”

"I’m positive." Niall opens her door and signals for him to get out. She spreads the blanket out on the ground and looks sheepishly over at him. “It isn’t the softest, but no one will see us. Sean will never have to know.”

Harry looks over her and nods. “As long as you’re sure.” He leans over and presses their lips together. His hands quickly find themselves attached to her torso, running over the ragged bump from the stitching all those years ago.

"Here,” she undoes the ties holding her dress in place and breathes a sigh of relief as if loosens and slips down her torso. She lets it pool around her feet and she suddenly feels self conscious. “It’s been awhile since you’ve seen me this way. And last time I was malnourished and coming out of surgery.”

He runs his fingers across her stomach, happy when he feels a bit of softness there. She was right. Last time he saw her there was barely anything to her due to the harsh conditions of the war, but now she’s healthy and he loves every curve of her. “Time was generous to you. You look as young as you did back then, but so much healthier.”

She kisses him softly and brings his hand to undergarments. “It’s yours. It wanted it to be yours back in France and I want it to be yours now. Take it, Harry.”

“Fuck,” his words are barely audible as he sweeps her off her feet and kisses her. He somehow manages to get them both down to the blanket unharmed. He looks over her and grabs at the last of the clothing she wore. “I think I owe you an orgasm.”

Niall frowns. “What?”

He never explains himself, just kisses at her thighs before burying his face between them.

“Harry!"

——————

Niall kisses him softly as he redresses her. “I waited six years for that.”

“Hope I lived up to the fantasy.” He smiles and pulls back to look at her. He can’t believe he got to have her. He loves her so much. He doesn’t want to let her go. “I promise I’ll visit more. I want to get to know your family. Your kids are adorable and I’m sure Sean is a good man if you love him. I just…”

“Harry, don’t.” Niall doesn’t want to hear him say anything about love. She would leave everything for him if he asked he to. Her children, her marriage, her home- anything. “Besides you need to keep visiting. Sean and I… We want another child, but we haven’t started trying yet. After tonight, I was going to tell him we should. Just in case… You know. If you stopped visiting it might seem-”

“I know.” He looks at her stomach, flat and empty, and tries his best to imagine it full and swollen with his baby. After tonight it’s a huge possibility. “I love you so much.”

She leans forward, kissing him once more. It’s a bit desperate and much too sad to match the proclamation he just made, but she hopes he knows she loves him too. She can’t bring herself to say it. She just can’t. “We need to go. Sean’s meeting is definitely over by now and he’ll be home soon.”

Harry smiles sadly and nods. He helps her up and grabs the blanket she had brought with them. He makes sure she’s comfortable before closing her dor and heading around to the driver’s side.

Niall rests her head against the window a hint of a smile on her face.

Harry gets himself together and drives once more. He reaches over and laces his fingers with hers. “I’m really happy that you found someone to start a family with and Aedan is adorable. I’m sure Teagan will be just as beautiful as her mother.”

She flushes pink. “I’d say so, but they’re my children- I’m biased.”

He pulls up to her home, seeing the lights on inside. “Guess Sean’s home. I should go.” Harry leans over and presses one more kiss to her lips. “I’ll always love you, Niall. I’m so fucking thankful for that god awful war because I met you.”

"When will you be back?" She kisses Harry’s cheek, getting out of the car.

He shrugs. "I head back to Cheshire tomorrow. I have to see my family and then figure things out from there. I’m taking a position in London with the army. I’ll be a Lieutenant-Colonel at that point so I’ll have a bit more freedom to come and see you,”

“I’ll see you soon then.” She starts to walk towards her door before she turns to look at him again. “Harry?”

He looks up from the steering wheel, hopeful.

“I love you too.” She wipes at the tears she can feel gathering in her eyes and bites her lip as she watches him do the same. “Just thought you should know.”

He nods and clears his throat. He puts the car in gear and drives off.

She heads back inside to her family.

Sean looks up from where he’s rocking Teagan in his arms. He smiles softly as he sees her. “Hey, darling. How was your time with Harry?”

"It was great just catching up with an old friend. You might see more of him around." She cuddles into Sean smiling at their daughter.

"I’m glad. The men at the pub called me mental for leaving you alone with another man." Sean says as he kisses at her temple. He wraps an arm around her waist to keep her close.

"I know that I’ve not been home much lately, but I’ll be here so much more now. I left the IRA tonight. They were talking about more fighting and I don’t want that. I just want time with you and the kids." He pets at her hip before letting it rest on her flat stomach. "Maybe have a few more kids with the love of my life."

Niall looks up at him, kissing his lips. “I love you. I want another kid, maybe we can start trying tomorrow.”

"Come on. Let’s get to bed. I just want to have a nice night with my wife." Sean says as he steers his wife towards the stairs. "I’ll put Teagan down for the night. Aedan is already out for the night."

Niall heads upstairs to their bedroom getting ready. She doesn’t feel guilty about what happened because a piece of her will always belong to Harry.

Sean comes in about five minutes later and strips down and heads into the bathroom to brush his teeth. He stands in the doorway watching his wife. “Niall? How would you feel if we left Mullingar?”

Niall turns around raising her eyebrow. “Left? And went where?”

"I was thinking Killarney. I don’t want us anywhere near Dublin or Belfast." He looks to the wooden floorboards. He knows that the IRA is planning to move and soon.

Niall doesn’t have Harry’s address. If she moves and she doesn’t see Harry she might never see him, but this is her family. “That sounds like a good idea.”

"You sure? I don’t want to uproot us, but I figure it would be best to do so before the kids started lessons or grow too attached to someone." He sighs and moves over so he’s next to his wife. He takes her hands in his and kisses at her cheek. "I know it’s short notice, but we need to leave tomorrow. It’ll be tough since it’s cold and rainy, but I’m just really worried."

Niall bites her lip. She mentally says goodbye to Harry and nods. “I’ll start packing before the sun gets up.”

Sean grabs her chin softly and looks at her sadly. “I’m sorry. It’s just… I can’t tell you what’s happening, but I just know we need to get away. We can tell Missus O’Brien down the road where we’re going in case Harry wants to visit, but I need us gone.”

He leans down and kisses her softly. “I just need you to trust me.”

"I do trust you, more than anything." She kisses him slipping into bed.

Sean watches her. “I love you. I love you so much.” He crawls into bed and holds her close.


	2. For Love has Fairly Drove Me Silly

"Run!" Sean says as he carries his son in his arms.

This is not what he had imagined when he told Niall they would be safe. He should have known that you can't just leave the IRA. He looks over his shoulder to ensure that Niall and Teagan are right behind him. His daughter's screams pierce the dark night. "Niall, get her quiet!"

"She's a baby, Sean! What am I supposed to do?" Niall tries hushing her daughter, bouncing her and cooing, anything to get her to calm down. They can't afford to be heard. Sean would be killed and Niall doesn't want to think about what would happen to her or her kids.

"I know, I know. I'm sorry." He grabs her wrist and pulls her into an alleyway by two old houses. He holds her close, trying to muffle the sounds of Teagan's cries.

He sets Aedan down and takes the small girl from her mother. "Shhhhhh, Teagan. It's okay. Daddy's got you. Nothing is going to harm you." He looks to his wife, a flash of fear in his eyes before the look turns loving.

"I love you." Niall whispers, kissing Sean and kissing Teagen. She has to prepare though, even though Niall believes that if they're caught they'd use her for their own pleasure, but there's still a possibility that she would be killed and that would leave her kids alone. She bends down and takes hold of Aedan's arms, kissing his head repeatedly. "Baby, if anything happens to daddy and I, I want you to take your sister and go to someone's home. Anyone's home, okay? I need you to be a big boy and promise me."

Aedan shakes his head, eyes wide and filled with terror. "Not leaving you, mummy. Won't leave you or daddy."

Sean can hear the sound of men approaching and see the exposed light of their torches. "Niall, I want you to take the children and head back towards the forest. Leave through the back of the alley. I'll stall them."

"Sean, no!" Niall whispers. She can't let anything happen to him, she can't. She can't have her children fatherless, even if she was telling Aedan only a moment ago to leave.

He only passes Teagan off to her and kisses her deeply. "I love you so much. I know you'll keep our children safe no matter the cost."

Grabbing his rosary from his pocket, he kneels in front of his son and grabs the small boy's hand. "Aedan, you're the man of the house now. You have to look out for mummy and Teagan, okay? Daddy loves you and knows how great you'll be when you grow up."

"I love you, Sean, so much." Niall holds Teagan with one hand, using the other to grab Aedan's hand, running as fast as she can almost dragging her son.

Sean watches them go before heading out the way they had entered. He's greeted with about twenty men all glaring and snarling at him. "Hello, mates. Fancy running into you here."

Niall chokes, makes such an inhuman sound when she hears gunfire, but she has to think about her children and getting them out of here.

It seems like forever before she stops running, out of breath and looking down at her son. "Are you okay, baby?"

Aedan looks dead on his feet. "Mummy, I'm tired. Where's daddy? I'm scared. I don't like the dark."

The bundle of blankets covering Teagan starts to squirm as the girl either agrees with his sentiments or opposes them.

Niall kisses Aedan. "Daddy had to go somewhere but I'll...here."

She rummages through her pocket until she finds a small torch. "If you get scared use this."

Aedan nods. "When can we go to sleep, mummy?" He yawns and rubs at his eyes hoping he conveys how tired he is.

"We'll have to sleep here tonight. You can use mummy's jacket and your blanket is in my bag." Niall looks around hoping to find a semi comfortable place, at least she managed to pack a few essentials.

"Will daddy be able to find us in the dark? Should I leave the light on all night so he can find us?" Aedan says as he flicks the light to life and smiles as he can see the small clearing they're in.

"No, baby. If you leave it on the light will die. Daddy won't be joining for awhile. Are you hungry?" Niall carefully sits on the ground, making sure Teagan doesn't jostle in her arms.

He shakes his head no and looks down at the necklace his father handed to him. "I think daddy meant to hand this to you. I don't wear necklaces."

Niall smiles and shakes her head. "It's not just a necklace, it's supposed to give you hope. If you don't want to wear it just put it in your pocket like daddy did."

"Hope? What's that, mummy?" He yawns and tugs his father's tartan blanket from her bag and wraps it around himself tightly.

"Well, you know when daddy would leave for work but you knew he would always come back? You knew because you had hope, you believed he would come back." It's probably a terrible analogy but it's the most she can think of, still holding back a torrent of emotion but not letting her children see. She tries her hardest to not let the tears fall when Aedan wraps himself in Sean’s blanket. A rosary and blanket was all she had left of her husband.

"Oh, okay." Aedan says no more as he lays down on the forest floor and slowly falls to sleep wrapped in his dad's blanket.

Niall pulls off her jacket and bundles it up, setting it underneath Aedan's head a pillow. She looks down at her baby, kissing her nose. "It's going to be okay." She lies on her back with her daughter settled on her chest. She falls asleep easier than she thought she would.

\------------

Niall rummages through her bag for the hundredth time. Aedan's been asking for food and there isn't any left. It's all been eaten and Niall is so frustrated, could pull her hair out really, and she feels utterly fucking useless if she can't provide for her children.

"Mummy, my tummy is rumbly and it hurts." Aedan whines as he holds his sister tightly and pouts as tears start to well in his eyes. "Where's daddy?"

"Daddy isn't here; I already told you. Aedan, there's no food can you wait a little longer?" Niall sighs, exasperated. She closes her eyes and pinches the bridge of her nose. She can't just let herself and her son starve. She stands and packs away the blankets before taking Teagan. "Come on then, I'll find us food."

Aedan stands as well and grabs at her skirt softly so as not to lose her.

They make it a few minutes in silence before the smell of burning plants and even flesh can be found in the air. "Where are we, mummy?"

Niall doesn't answer just ventures further out until she stops and looks down at the rubble beneath her feet when she realizes what's going on. There's charred piles of rubbish, some still burning and Niall thinks she sees bodies. It's enough to remember the war and that makes her weak and nauseous starting to gag at the horrendous smell. It's a burned village. "Baby, we need to go somewhere else."

Aedan frowns and squats down to grab a doll that miraculously survived everything. "Look it! A new dolly for Teagan since we lost her old one!"

Niall takes the toy from her son and she almost throws up just looking at it, thinking about the child that died without her doll. "Another little girl is looking for her doll; we have to leave it here." She ushers Aedan away back into the forest and she really has no clue how long they've been walking when she spots a cabin tucked away in a small meadow.

Teagan begins to whine and paw at her mother's shirt. "Mum mum..."

Aedan just stops and looks at the cabin. "Do you think the little girl lives in there?"

Niall looks down at her baby, and kisses her forehead swiftly approaching the home. It's her only chance to get them fed, possibly spend the night in a warm bed. She heads up the wooden steps with her son in tow, knocking on the door without hesitation.

A tall, broad man opens the door grumpily and looks down at the brunette on his step. "What can I do you for, lass?"

"Excuse me sir, my name is Niall and these are my children. I lost... I lost my husband and we've had no place to go the last three days, but managed to come across your home. Is there any way you could let us stay for a few days? Just to bathe, be properly fed, and sleep in a bed." Niall knows it's a lot to ask, but she's prepared to offer anything if he declines.

The man looks over the three, eyes raking up the slender build of the woman and the exhausted expression on the small boy's face. He smirks and nods. "Of course. A small fee might persuade me."

"I don't have any money, but... I can offer my services in other ways." Niall licks her dry lips, squeezing her son's hand. She feels disgusting doing this right after losing Sean, but these are her children and she'd never let anything happen to them.

"Yeah, that seems doable. Come in, then." He ushers them inside before locking and bolting the door behind him. "Thought maybe you were English shite from Millstreet. About feckin' time the IRA burned their shite down. Oh, I'm Breslin by the way."

"Is... Is that what happened? I saw the aftermath, but I didn't know." Niall awkwardly stands in the middle of his home. "I'm sorry, would you mind if I laid my daughter down then fixed something in your kitchen?"

Breslin shrugs and waves the woman away. "Yeah. Don't be expecting the grandest of dinners though. With Millstreet gone, food will have to be rationed."

"Anything we can get. This is my son Aedan and my daughter Teagan." Niall smiles warmly, lying Teagan out on a pillow she finds tucked away in the corner of the living room. "I can make enough for you as well?" Niall offers leading Aedan to the table to take a seat.

"Yeah. I haven't had a woman's food in so long. It'd be nice to have an actual meal." Breslin reaches down to his belt and lays his pistol on the table as he sits. "So tell me, how'd you lose your husband?"

"In the war." Niall holds up her jacket, but what this man doesn't know won't hurt anyone. She washes her hands and sets to work getting things out of the fridge, finding potatoes, leeks, turnips and broth. It'll be good enough. "Tell me about you. You live all alone out here?"

"Not usually. My wife, Laura, is out in Belfast visiting her family. Feckin' Belfast. It's nothing more than an inadequate, glorified London." Breslin looks over at the kid and frowns. "That a necklace?"

Aedan shakes his head. "It's hope. Daddy gave it to me before we lost him."

"A rosary." Niall supplies, getting started on chopping things up. "So you're married? I don't know how you'd like me to repay you then."

"I thought it was pretty obvious," Breslin says with a shrug.

Teagan starts to cry from her place in the other room.

Niall hurries off, holding her daughter up and smiling at the bundle. "What's wrong. Are you hungry?"

Teagan just wails even louder and grabs at her mother's shirt. "Mum mum."

Breslin rolls his eyes and turns to the little boy at the table with him. "So, where are you guys going? Dublin?"

Niall tugs on the drawstrings of her shirt, moving the material away to feed her daughter.

Aedan grumbles, looking longingly at the food still sitting on the counter not yet cooked. "Don't know, mummy said we were going to stay with a friend of hers."

"You need to stay somewhere safe. Dublin and Cork are the only safe places left in Ireland. Everywhere else is filled with nasty English bastards." Breslin says with a taste of dissatisfaction in his mouth.

Aedan frowns. "It's not safe here though. Mummy and daddy said so."

Breslin frowns and looks over to the room where the woman had disappeared. "Your parents lied. It's the safest place in Ireland." He reaches down into his boot and grabs the knife hidden there before stabbing it deep into the wooden table.

Aedan screams, jumping in his seat. He looks fearfully at the knife then up at the man he no longer feels safe around.

Niall comes rushing in, her shirt hanging wide open while Teagan lied in the other room fast asleep. She looks at the scene before her, arms crossed over her chest. "What's happening?"

"Just filling the boy in on where you should be staying and where it's safe from that English shite." He shrugs and looks up to her, eyes zeroing in on her undone shirt.

"Just... Please don't scare him." Niall turns around and fixes the material now that she knows Aedan is safe, heading to the kitchen to continue where she left off.

Aedan looks up to his mother with tears in his eyes. "Where's daddy? I want daddy."

Breslin rolls his eyes at the child-like whining. "Your da is dead. IRA took care of his turncoat arse." He looks at the woman at his stove and knows exactly who's in his home. "Isn't that right, Captain Horan?"

Niall tenses, smiling sweetly and looking over at the tall, broad man. "I'd refrain from saying such vile things to my son. I've killed men with my bare hands Mister Breslin and you don't scare me one bit."

Breslin just laughs. "Sure thing. I can tell you where to find your husband if you're looking for him."

Aedan's eyes widen. "Where? Where's my daddy?"

"Why don't you go take a nap or something, lad. Your mum will get you when dinner is ready."

Niall narrows her eyes, but smiles reassuringly at Aedan. "There's a bedroom at the end of the hall, baby. Just nap in there and I'll come to retrieve you. I'll make sure to even make dessert."

Aedan frowns, but nods and does as he's told.

"So your traitorous husband. Want to know where to find him?" Breslin says with a wicked glint in his eyes.

"Dead. He's dead, I'm well aware of what I heard when I ran off." Niall discreetly grabs the handle of the knife behind her, preparing for any attack.

Breslin stands and strides over till he's standing before her. He pets lightly at her hair before letting his hand continue down her arm and gripping her wrist harshly, feeling the knife clutched there. "I'd drop that if I were you. You never know who else I might be entertaining in this small house. Like hidden IRA members who know exactly where your children are."

Niall glares and it takes everything in her to let go. "You're a bit traitorous yourself. Entertaining the thought of sleeping with another woman in your marital bed."

"Oh, I'm not entertaining the thought. It's going to happen. But, if you wish you can start your payment here and now. On your knees, Captain." He brings a hand back up to her hair and roughly pushes her down to the floor.

Niall glares, but looks up at him, hands reaching for his trousers. "You'd trust my mouth near you? Not afraid of a little bite then?"

"Bite me and a bullet goes between sweet, little Aedan's eyes." Breslin says calmly and with a small smile to match.

Niall clenches her teeth. She'd do anything to keep her children safe. "If my children were not here you would have been long killed and left outside to rot."

Breslin laughs loudly and merely pushes her face closer to his erection. "Just suck me off and maybe I won't scare your son again."

Niall does as she's told, pulling his pants down until they're bunched around his thighs, finger grabbing the base and giving a short tug. "Did you know who I was when I approached your home?" She leans in, licking over the head before partially enveloping him into her mouth and sucking, cheeks hollowing out.

"As soon as you showed me the jacket." He moaned and grips at her hair tightly. "Now I know why Cullen was so eager to get home to you every night. Shame that his wife is just a toy for others now."

It takes every muscle and bone in her body to not bite his dick off, using her anger to suck harder, scrape her fingernails against the back of his thighs and there's an obvious flow of energy flooding through her. She hasn't been this energized during a sexual encounter since she last saw Harry a month ago.

About ten minutes have passed when Breslin finally pushes his entire length into her and releases inside her warm, wet mouth. "Swallow it all, every last drop, like the slut you are."

Niall doesn't move her tongue, let's it sit there while the cum goes down relatively easily. She stands, grabbing the cufflink of his shirt to wipe her mouth clean. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have dinner to finish."

\------------

The table is silent. Aedan looking around the small cabin and wondering how many unseen people there were. He had seen a few in the room when he was supposed to be napping, but decided to keep it from his mother.

Breslin fills the younger boy's bowl a second time. "Eat up, boy. You never know when your next meal will be."

Niall pets her fingers through Aedan's hair lovingly. "Don't listen to him. Mummy will always provide you with food like I did now."

"For a hefty price, I'm sure. Don't worry though. I'm sure you’re worth your mum's humiliation and pain." Breslin snickers as he continues to eat.

"Pain? Are you in pain, mummy?" Aedan says worriedly.

Niall shakes her head quickly, kissing his nose. "No, he's just being a bastard. I'm not in any pain. We need to give you a bath before the night is out, we could both use baths."

Breslin is going to respond when there's a knock on the door. "If you'll excuse me."

He makes his way to the door and opens it quickly. "Darragh, wonderful to see you. Come in, come in."

Niall tenses in her seat, mouth going next to Aedan's ear. "If anything happens I want you to go hide in the bedroom with your sister and I'll take care of everything, okay?"

Aedan frowns. "But what about the men in there? They aren't that good at hiding, mummy."

Niall's grip on Aedan's arm tightens by the smallest of margins. So Breslin hadn't been lying. She hasn't felt this powerless since she watched her father and brother leave for war. "It's going to be okay, sweetheart. Mummy will never let anything happen to you."

Breslin is back with another man in tow. "Darragh, I believe you know our cook for the evening."

Aedan smiles brightly. "Uncle Darragh!"

Niall isn't comfortable, she's known this man for the longest time but she knows that he did nothing to help Sean. She just nods her head once, "Darragh."

"Niall. I've been looking everywhere for you. You're alright, yeah? When I heard about Sean, I didn't know if you and the children were safe." Darragh says as he takes a seat and scoops himself a large portion of food.

Niall grabs Aedan's knee under the table, squeezing. "You'd know I'd do anything to keep them safe, anything."

"Always quick to spread your legs. Told Sean marrying you was like marrying the entire nation." The words are bitter as he tries to sound nonchalant.

Niall scoffs, laughing lightly. "I do it because I need to, what's your mother's excuse?"

Darragh laughs loudly. "Always the spitfire. Tell me, how was the Englishman? Sean trusted you, but I didn't."

Breslin clears his throat. "Darragh, wait until the little one leaves before accusing her of something that vial. Surely she wouldn't allow the vermin of England to touch her."

Niall rests her chin in her palm, smiling. "You mean my friend Harry? He's nothing more than someone I fought alongside. Haven't seen him in so long barely remember what his face looks like."

The room grows quiet as the men eat, watching her every move.

"Mummy, I'm done." Aedan says quietly, unsure of his place at this meeting.

Breslin looks at the boy. "To bed with you then. You can wash in the morning."

Niall tenses slightly. "I want the men out of the guest room first if you expect him to sleep."

Breslin cocks his head. "Fine. Get your children changed and ready while I move the men."

Darragh grabs a cigar from Breslin's box on the counter. "Send them to the living room, Bres. We all need to talk."

Niall ushers Aedan off to the bathroom, changing him into some pyjamas. She's glad she managed to pack some clothes for them, although she didn't have enough room to fit any of hers.

Afterwards Niall goes to the bedroom to see it empty, changing Teagan into a fresh nappie and outfit, tucking Aedan in beside her. "I love you."

"I love you too. Mummy, where is daddy? That man said he knew where daddy was." He needs his father back. He misses him too much.

"Baby... Daddy is in heaven. He didn't want us to get hurt so he had to leave." Niall knows he'll get it; he got it when his nan passed away.

Aedan frowns and shakes his head. "No, daddy said he'd never leave us. Daddy promised." Tears start to spill down the boy's cheeks.

Niall kisses him, hugging him tightly. "I know, baby, I know, but he's watching you and he loves you."

Aedan continues to cry, his tears slowly stopping once he's passed out in his mother's arms.

Breslin pops his head in. "You finished? I have something for you to do."

"Sorry that I was comforting my son." Niall tucks him in, kissing his forehead. There's a noticeable ache in her heart when she stands, seeing the damp patch on her shirt where Aedan had cried.

Niall leaves the lamp on in case, quietly shutting the door and turning towards Bressie. "What now?"

He smirks and starts to unbutton her shirt. "You're going to strip down to nothing but your undergarments and serve them. They're thirsty and hungry from hiding all day."

"You're trying to pull something aren't you? Trying to make me feel small?" Niall lets him undress her though. God if her kids weren't here, she would have murdered all the men by now.

"It's not my intention. Trust me. And remember that your children's lives are at stake." He finishes getting her out of her dress and and runs a hand across her clothed entrance. "When it's only you, Darragh, and me left, you'll know that we're belittling you."

Niall narrows her eyes. "I never agreed to anything with Darragh. I agreed to sleeping with you."

He frowns and looks down at her. "And now I'm upping the price. He told me he's been waiting a long time to get you alone."

Niall scowls, she always had an uneasy feeling around Darragh. "That cunt. I'm going to kill him one day."

"Well, today isn't that day. Now get out there and serve them. They were told they could touch you, but nothing else." Breslin informs her of his generosity.

Niall holds her head up high and heads out to the living room where the men were sitting around, talking.

"We head towards Galway morning after next. There's an English stronghold there in the county and we're going to burn it and every last person in it down." Darragh says confidently as he points stuff out on the map.

One of the men, he can't be much older than eighteen, looks to Niall with a blush on his face. "Can I please just have some water? This talk of killing really has stamped out my appetite."

Niall smiles softly and retrieves the glass, handing it to him with relative ease. At least not everyone here is a pig.

"O'Brien, share the lass. I know you can't appreciate a woman's curves yet, but the rest of us are thirsty dogs."

The men laugh and the young boy ducks his head in embarrassment. "Thank you, miss."

"It's not a problem." Well it is, even if he is a nice lad. She crosses her arms over her chest and stands idly by waiting for any other orders.

"Oi, get over here. I was told I could touch and I don't like being lied to." One of the older male's voice says about the chatter. "Molly, the old hag, has nothing on this beautiful flower."

Niall balls her hands up into fists, but she bites her tongue and heads over.

The man pulls her down into his lap and lets his hands rest on her soft hips. "I can actually hold her weight. Whenever Molly wants to sit there, she breaks my legs with her fat ass. Such a cow, that woman."

Niall bares her teeth, her fingers, digging into her thighs and she wants to just strangle him, take an eye out, something. Anything to get him to stop.  
Soon enough she’s being passed around, hands touching and stroking her anywhere they could reach. She tried her best not to squirm away from the touch, but it wasn’t the touch of her husband or Harry. It was rough and unknown. Too many hands at once and she never felt so ashamed in her life. She held back her tears as best she could. She couldn’t let them see she was breaking.

The man's voice is always in her ear. "So much better than that broken down heifer. Bet your cunt is so pretty and loose. Bet Sean fucked you open every night."

Niall's hands twitch, almost reaches for one of their fucking throats but she keeps her head down, waiting for them to back off.

Darragh and Breslin pretend not to notice and plan their attack. Once they're done that, it's deep into the night and they finally look up to see the scene.

"Men!" Darragh yells. "Let her go. You're all to leave and return tomorrow so we can actually plan this."

Niall sighs in relief once they all stop touching her. She lies back against the sofa, covering her chest with a throw pillow. "Worse than fucking torture."

Once the house is emptied, Darragh makes his way over towards her. "You know if Sean would have seen the greatness that a unified Ireland against England would have been, none of this would be happening. He just couldn't see the good the IRA is doing."

Niall laughs. "Murdering people, whole lot of fucking good huh."

"It's for the good of Ireland." Darragh says quietly as he slowly moves the pillow from her grasp. "Sean always had it so good with you."

Niall crosses her arms to cover her chest, glaring. "Sean had it good? I'm not whatever image you've built me up to be Darragh. If anything I was the lucky one."

"He should never have had you. I told him that you'd fill his head with thoughts of England ruled Ireland. Your fighting in the Great War has only made you sympathetic to those bastards." Darragh says, fists clenched tightly.

"Did I ever tell you I went because I was suicidal? After losing my family I couldn't go on, thought dying in battle would at least be honorable. So I went and I didn't die because of the selfless men I fought beside, the men who sacrificed themselves to keep me alive. And yet those are the bastards you're talking about? Killing women and children? You disgust me. I'd kill you, believe me I would, but you're not worth the fucking bullet."

"Darragh, just... Either take the payment or leave." Breslin doesn't want to mix pleasure and politics.

Niall raises her eyebrow, she's too calm now to be angry. "Go on, do it then."

Darragh looks down and sighs. "I can't do this right now. I have an attack to plan."

Niall sits up, a bit relieved really, but she doesn't let that show instead she shrugs her shoulders nonchalantly watching him leave. "I'm exhausted, I need a bed."

Breslin smirks. "Come on. I have a place you can sleep."

Niall has a feeling she's not going to be sleeping but she really doesn't have much of a choice. She just gets up and tiredly follows, feet dragging and her knuckles rubbing at her eyes.

Breslin picks her up and carries her to his bed. "I want my payment."

Niall rolls her eyes, head resting against his broad chest. "Alright. How do you want me?"

"Want you to ride me. Tell me how grateful you are that I took you and your children in." Breslin drops her on the bed and looks down at her.

Niall hooks her fingers in her underwear, shucking them off and tossing them into a random corner before getting onto her knees. "Talking about my problem is going to get you off?"

Breslin shrugs as he strips himself and starts to stroke his cock to full hardness. "More the fact that you have to whore yourself around. God I wish I could see Sean's face, wish he could know what a slut you are."

Niall scowls. "Let's not talk about him. None of your men are here and I'm very capable of murder."

"I think it's cute that you think I'm alone. There's always someone here. I'm the leader of the IRA, sweetheart." He lays back on his mattress and beckons her over.

Niall sits on his legs, starting to suck and lick three of her own fingers. She's going to make sure this doesn't hurt, even if it will emotionally.

He frowns. "I don't want you to be prepped. I'm going to stretch you wide open. Now, hurry up."

Niall glares. "Are you fucking kidding me? Are you trying to break me? I need to be prepped or I won't be able to move."

"What's the matter? Afraid you won't be able to be on the run from us?" Breslin chuckles as he grabs tightly at her wrist.

"I have children to take care of you tosser. You were friends with Sean weren't you, why would you want to sleep with his wife?" Niall still doesn't understand how they can turn their back on someone they considered a friend.

Breslin suddenly becomes angry. "No friend of mine would ever leave the IRA. They wouldn't be okay with the English bastards living free on Irish soil. They certainly would never leave their wife alone with an Englishman who came to visit."

Niall huffs a laugh. "What do you want me to say? That I've fucked an Englishman? I've fucked two, one multiple times while I served. Still want to touch me after I've been soiled?"

"You let those filthy bastards touch you even when you were married to Sean. He loved you so much and you broke his trust. You're nothing but a dirty whore." Breslin says venomously. He uses the grip he has on her to shift them and pin her down on her back. "And that's what I'll treat you like. A whore, an object not worth my time except for when I need release."

Niall laughs, laughs so hard it hurts. "Talk all you want, but you're no better. Worse even. The Englishmen are better than you paddies."

"Better than your own husband?" Breslin says as he pushes her legs apart and lines himself up at her entrance.

"Except for him, he saw through your bullshit." Niall spits, hands digging into the sheets.

Breslin laughs loudly and pushes inside her. He groans and tips his head back at the tight heat surrounding him. "Want to know a secret about your dear husband? He begged for mercy in his final moments. He was weak and timid. It was a joy to be the one to put a bullet between his eyes.

Niall knows, watching him laugh, that she's going to be the one to kill him. "Not a coward like you."

The male just continues to laugh and hold her down as he rocks into her relentlessly. "I’ll just have to fuck you like the bitch you are."

The door is suddenly creaking open and there's a timid and shy voice. "Mummy?"

"Aedan, go away!" Niall shouts, she can't let him see her, not like this, weak and vulnerable and being taken advantage of.

"Mummy! Stop! You're hurting her! Stop! Stop! Stop!" Aedan watches in horror as this man does something to his mother. He doesn't understand what's happening, but his mother sounds unhappy.

Niall starts sobbing, she doesn't want Aedan is to see her like this. "Baby, please, please go."

"Mummy..." Aedan can't leave. He promised his daddy he'd protect his sister and mummy. "Please stop. I promised daddy..."

Breslin laughs at that. "You shouldn't make promises that you can't keep."

"Aedan, I'll be fine. This is just a bad dream." Niall hopes it's convincing enough, that he'll cry in the morning and tell her about it and Niall will reassure him.

Breslin moans loudly as his hips stutter to a stop and he's coming deep inside her. He lets go of her wrists and pulls out from her and groans. "Clean me off, whore."

Aedan is still there, sniffling and crying. "You hurt mummy."

Niall reaches for her clothes, takes time tugging them on before she carefully stands, crying out at a sharp pain. It takes a long minute to compose herself before she can get a wet washcloth to clean the man off with.

Aedan is crying and reaching for his mother. He wants to be held by her and be reassured that she's okay.

When Niall is allowed to leave she kneels down, grabbing Aedan's arms, trying to ignore the way her lower half burns. "I'm okay, baby. Mummy is fine. I promise."

His sobs are reduced to hiccups and sniffles. "He didn't hurt you? He looked like he was."

"I know, baby, but mummy accidentally twisted her ankle. Daddy always said I was clumsy." She picks Aedan up, even if it pains her to do so, and walks towards the guest room where Teagan was still sleeping.

"Will you stay here and cuddle with me? I don't want to sleep without you. That way I know you're safe." Aedan says softly, exhaustion sweeping across his face.

"Of course baby, I'll be right next to you." Niall tucks Aedan in before getting in herself, being careful not to jostle the baby or to move too much. This is all fucked up.

\------------

Breslin awakes to the sound of crying and he groans. This woman has officially overstayed her welcome. Donning some trousers, he heads to the living room to see her feeding her daughter and her son sitting quietly next to her.

"Niall, you need to go. I gave you food and lodging. My part is done." He yawns and scratches at his hair as he looks to her.

"I was thinking the same thing. Let me finish feeding her and I'll be on my way." Niall looks down at Aedan, hair slightly damp from his bath earlier. He made no move to argue with her though and Niall was a bit surprised considering it was always a battle to get him to bathe sometimes. He got in no problem though and Niall wonders if it has anything to do with the night before.

Aedan looks up at the man and curls against his mother.

Breslin nods and awkwardly scratches the back of his neck. "Patrick will escort you out."

"Alright." Niall pulls Teagan away when she's done, fixing her shirt up once more.

Patrick steps out from the guest room the small family was sleeping in and stretched. "Right, boss. Where should I drop them?"

Breslin shrugs. "Don't really care where. Just push them East."

Niall gets her things together and packs some food, something Breslin allowed after making her suck him off again. She cradles Teagan and gestures to her skirt for Aedan to grab a hold of. "Right, well thank you. Even though I'd rather slit your throat than say it, but thank you."

"Such a spitfire. I'll never understand how Sean could marry such an untameable woman." Breslin sighs. "I hope you make it wherever you are heading safely."

Niall smiles softly, the only kind gesture she'll give him and heads out with her children. She looks behind at the man. "If you could make it so you're at least ten feet back I'd appreciate that."

"Can't be that far, but I can step back some." Patrick says as he waits a good distance for them to get ahead. "So where are you heading? I can at least steer you in the right direction."

"Belfast." Niall looks back up ahead with an upturned nose, nudging her son and smiling softly.

Patrick frowns and stops in his tracks. "Belfast? That's English controlled territory. Why would you head there?"

"Don't ask questions. You were told to take me where I was going so I expect that." Niall doesn't need to explain herself to the likes of him.

"Look, I know it isn't my place to say anything, but the English are brutal. I watched as they killed my father just because they couldn't understand him through his accent. Maybe you'll fare better since your accent is faint and barely there and you sound more English than Irish, but think of your children."

Niall stops in her tracks. "Don't you dare, ever tell me to think of my fucking children. What the fuck do you think I've been doing? Do you think I'd just sleep around after your men killed my husband? I know what I'm doing, I've seen more war than you will ever experience in a lifetime don't tell me to think of my children."

Patrick holds his hands up. "Sorry. Just... They'll separate you. They killed my father and took my mother. I was four. Told me to fend for myself and maybe there would be hope for the Irish. I just can't believe anyone would want to willingly head to their territory."

Niall lifts her jacket up. "They'll recognize me right away, Captain Horan. An Irish woman who fought alongside Englishmen."

"Don't count on it." Patrick mumbles back to the woman. He looks down at her son in pity. "Your mother has too much faith in a people who have no problem slaying anyone who sound different from them."

Aedan cocks his head to the side. "The English bastards?"

Niall scowls. "They are not bastards. You're trying to tell me about this shit when the Irish have hurt me more than any Englishman."

Aedan shrinks against his mother. "Mummy, he's scary."

"Just wait. You'll see, Niall. You'll be just another Irish to slaughter." Patrick says softly.

"Stop talking to us." Niall turns around and storms off, almost dragging Aedan behind her.

"Niall, stop!" Patrick calls after her as she speeds off.

"Mummy? Are we English?" Aedan asks fearfully.

"No, we're Irish. Those men are filthy liars, there's nothing wrong with the English, Aedan; they're friendly." Niall doesn't listen to the man though, just continues on her way.

Aedan looks to the ground. "Why does everyone hate them? And why does that big guy call them English bastards?"

"I don't know, love, I don't know." Niall can't explain it, Aedan wouldn't understand at his age.

Teagan squirms in her mother's arm and squints at the bright light that greets her. "Da da..."

Niall just kisses her daughter's forehead. "I know baby, I know. We have to keep going though, to Belfast."

\------------

Niall's drained, lost all energy and now she's trying to carry both Teagan and Aedan. Aedan's been crying about his feet hurting and complaining about food but they've run out and Niall can't stop and rest when they need to stay somewhere, anywhere at this point.

Aedan yawns against his mother's shoulder. "Mummy, Teagan is biting me." His voice is muffled and laced with exhaustion as his sister whines into his ear.

Niall looks down and sighs. "We're going to take a little break here."

She sets Aedan down and undoes her shirt, adjusting Teagan to her chest.

Aedan sits heavily on the ground. "Mummy, I'm so hungry. I need food."

Teagan sucks happily at her mother's chest, feeding from the woman's breast.

Niall nods her head. If they didn't get there soon she's not opposed to killing an animal. "We'll have food soon I promise."

There's a rustling in the trees around them and suddenly they're surrounded by a group of men.

"Oi! Who are you?" An English accent shouts at the group before them.

Niall startles and she almost immediately raises her jacket in the air, showing it off. "My name is Horan, Captain Niall Horan."

"Hold it." A young english boy steps forward. "Niall Horan? The Irish Woman? You fought beside my father in the war."

Niall frowns, looking over his facial features and when she realizes who she sees her face immediately softens. "Your Louis' son."

"William Tomlinson. General Styles told my mother and I lots about you." William smiles and reaches out for her. "Come on. You'll be a guest in my home."

Niall squeezes his fingers, she can see so much of Louis in William it makes her heart ache thinking about him. "These are my children, Teagan and Aedan."

"They look exhausted. Come on. There's an extra bed and plenty of food for you all." William bends down and scoops Aedan into his arms. "Your mother saved my father's life many times."

"She did? How?" Aedan sounds awed.

Niall smiles, it's the first genuine smile in a long time. "Mummy went to war and I met his daddy there and we became friends. I always watched out for him, took a bullet for him."

Aedan smiles and looks to his mother. "So the English are friends? Not bastards?"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. English bastards?" William frowns and looks at the woman.

"Aedan!" Niall glares before turning her eyes to the boy. "It's a long story, ignore him though."

William nods. "To Mallow then?"

\------------

William moves the dishes from the table to the sink. He pours Niall a cup of tea as she returns from tucking her children in. "So where have you been the last two months? Colonel Styles said he went to visit you and found you're home deserted."

"My husband left the IRA. We headed west to try and escape them, but you can probably imagine how they took it. My husband Sean... He was killed and I ran off with my children before anything could happen." Niall frowns, she looks at the boy and he looks almost exactly like Louis.

"That's horrible. So their dad is... He's gone?" William sighs. "I know what it's like to grow up without a dad."

Niall nods reaching across the table to squeeze his hand, it's the least she can do. "He was extremely lovely, nice, funny, a bit of a tosser, but he'd always take the piss out on everyone. He was the heart of our little group."

William smiles softly. "That's what Harry told me. He's also connected me to Zayn's daughter. She's the most beautiful girl I've ever seen."

Niall chuckles a little disbelieving, it's been so long since she thought of her boys and to hear their names again, it's incredible. "Reckon there's something between the two of you then?"

"I wish. She's being courted by her best friend back in England." William says sadly. He looks down at his tea and sighs.

Niall kisses his temple lovingly. "You're a catch, William, remind me a lot of your father. If he hadn't been with your mother I might have married him. You'll find someone eventually."

William shifts uncomfortably in his chair. "Can you answer a few questions about my father?"

Niall nods, drinking from her tea. She feels so much better now that she’s wearing the nightgown Eleanor let her use, hair washed and braided. She hadn’t been feeling her best lately and she was worried she might be coming down with something. Her stomach had been tossing and turning, even when there had been no food inside it to warrant the nausea. "Of course."

"Harry won't tell me how he died. Do you... Do you know?" William says quietly, scared that he was asking too much.

Niall wonders why Harry won't, it's not like he betrayed them or something. She decides to embellish it though. "We were in the trenches and he pushed me down, bullet hit the lip of his helmet."

"He was shot in the head?" The boy takes a deep breath as he tries to process that. "He died saving a friend..."

"He did. It was quick. Liam, our medic, said he didn't feel a thing." Niall's voice is light, afraid that if she's too loud it'll interrupt the intimacy of their conversation.

There's a long stretch of silence before William looks up. "How close were you to my dad? Is there anything you can tell me that Harry can't?"

Niall sits back and thinks. "I loved your father, really did. I was never so close with anyone than I was with him. He cried every time he killed someone, he hated being there- didn't want to do it- but he did it for his country. He loved bird watching, weird quirk I thought, but he did it. He'd get up before everyone else to watch the sunrise and would watch the sunset, he liked the predictability. He wrote your mother every day, carried her picture everywhere, and he would tell me things about you. Told me how much he wanted to be there to watch you grow, told me he had so much love to give, and he told me you were possibly his greatest accomplishment."

"He sounds like an amazing man. I can only hope that I'm half as great of a man as he was." William says as he blinks back tears. "I'm so sorry your children lost their father. At least they have a wonderful woman to look after them."

"Nothing runs deeper than a parent's love for their child. I'll do anything for my kids; I've already done a lot just getting here." Niall looks at the fading bruises on her wrists where Breslin had pinned her.

William's gaze follows hers to her wrists and his grip around his tea cup tightens considerably. "Who did that to you?"

Niall startles and puts her arms underneath the table and out of view. "No one, it's nothing."

"Tell me. I can't let them get away with this. Was it an Englishman?" He hopes to God his fellow country men haven't stooped to that level of disgusting acts.

"No, it was some... Some members of the IRA. I needed a place to stay and I didn't have money." Niall hopes he can fill in the blanks after that. She still feels disgusting, used, but she had to do it. She couldn't let Aedan starve or leave Teagan alone in the forest if both her and Aedan starved.

William is filled with rage. "These Irishmen think they're so much better than us, but they sit around and rape their own women. This is why England needs to be here. We need to teach the Irish how to be civilised."

Niall squeezes his knee under the table. "Not all Irishmen. My husband was never like that and I've some wonderful friends and family that are Irish."

"Right. Right, I'm sorry." The male sighs and reaches across the table to rest his hand on top of her own. "I should probably get some sleep. You and your children are more than welcome to stay as long as you need or want to."

"Just another day or two. Want them rested and fed." Niall stands setting her glass with the other dirty dishes. She kisses William's cheek. "You're a very lovely lad."

"If my dad hadn't met my mother, I would want him with you. You care so much." He tugs into a tight hug. "Thank you for everything you did in that horrible war."

Niall is a little surprised, but she hugs him back. "Didn't imagine I'd serve but I'm glad I did. I think I'll go join my son and daughter in bed now."

"Good night, Captain Horan."

\------------

Harry sits at the desk in his office pouring over a map of Ireland. Being appointed as a Lieutenant-Colonel in the English army had its perks. "Corporal, if anyone returns from the island I want them in my office immediately."

The Corporal nods leaning casually against Harry's desk, being friends made things more comfortable. "They found the body of an ex-IRA member."

"Ex-IRA? Sounds like something we shouldn't be interested in. Did we identify the body?" Harry says as he tries to plan a march for his troops to get to the English controlled Irish cities in time to protect them from the IRA.

"A man named Sean Cullen." He shrugs. It had been something he heard from his men.

Harry stops and looks up at his friend. "Are you certain about that? I need hundred percent accuracy with a claim like that."

"The leader of the IRA made no secret about it. Said he was 'housing' his wife and kids."

"What! What town? We have to get them out of there." Harry says in immediate panic.

"Harry, we can't do anything." He sighs. It's not like they can just storm over and get a couple of people.

"We have to! His wife is... Important to me. I need to make sure her and the children are okay." Harry says stressed out all of the sudden.

"How do you know his wife?" He asks, curiously.

"She..." Harry stumbles over how to explain the woman that means a lot to him. "She served beside me in the war."

The corporal is silent, trying to piece things together. "Wait, Captain Horan?"

"Yes. She married IRA member Sean Cullen and has two children. The last night I saw her, Sean was at an IRA meeting before they disappeared." Harry says quickly.

"There's nothing we can really do Harry, this isn't our problem."

Harry runs a hand through his hair. "Just... Keep me updated on anything you hear about her."

"I'll try." He can't promise anything, but he'll do what he can.


	3. Hoping You're the Same

Niall watches Aedan finish up his breakfast from where she's leaning in the doorway of the kitchen, smiling fondly. She would do anything to protect her children. "Thank you for letting us stay here." She looks over at William who's playing with Teagan.

He smiles brightly up at her, booping Teagan on the nose softly. "It's my pleasure. I only wish I had found you sooner. I have a letter for you to take with you when you go. If any Englishmen give you trouble, show it to them."

"What does it say?" Niall straightens out and heads over to Aedan, grabbing his empty bowl and setting it in the sink.

"You're protected and not to be harmed. If the orders aren't followed they'll have to deal with Lieutenant-Colonel Styles and myself." William says with a shrug as he stands with Teagan in his arms.

"Thank you." Niall comes around the counter and kisses his cheek. "You're a good man, just like your father."

William's eyes lower to the ground. "Sometimes I wish I had known him. I just really wish I could know if he'd be proud of me today."

"He would be so proud." Niall assures, taking Teagan back into her arms. "Should probably feed this one before we leave."

Teagan pouts as she taken away from her new best friend, but quickly smiles up at her mother.

William chuckles as he watches the small girl. "I'll give you so privacy then. Maybe show Aedan how to effectively cover tracks in woods."

"I think he'd like that." Niall looks over her shoulder at Aedan. He's been so quiet since he walked in on her and Brelin. It hurts her to know that he thinks he failed to protect her. In truth, she knows all too well that she failed to protect him. He should never of seen what she had to do to keep them safe.

William whispers to Aedan and the smaller boy nods before they both head out of the makeshift house.

Teagan whines as she grabs at Niall's necklace.

"Hungry, little one?" Niall sits on the sofa and manages to undo her shirt with one hand, peeling it away to let Teagan have access adjusting her against her chest.

The small child latches onto her mother and starts to drink.

A slightly older woman enters the room and smiles at them. "Ah, I remember having to feed William that way. That boy drank me dry everyday."

Niall smiles only for it to turn into a grimace, gasping. "Oh! That hurts!"

Teagan whines at the sudden movement of her mother's chest which caused her to be out of reach.

"You okay?" The other woman asks gently, coming to her side in case aide was needed.

"That was bloody painful." Niall rubs at her chest to soothe it looking down at her baby.

The woman frowns. "How old is she?" She runs a finger along the small child's leg, hoping to calm her.

"A little over a eight months. That’s never happened before though." Niall knows she's hungry, but that was too painful.

"She needs to start on more solid foods. You're not producing enough anymore." The woman says with a tight lipped smile. "I'm Eleanor, by the way. William is my son."

Niall should have expected it, but it still surprises her. She'll always feel a little guilty about her and Louis. "I can't do that, I don't have the resources to feed two children."

"Sweetheart, William has a small bag of provisions for your journey. It won't be nearly enough to get you to London, but you should make it to Dublin at least." Eleanor says with a soft smile.

"Only if you're sure, I feel like I've been enough of a burden." Niall sighs cooing at her crying daughter.

The woman shakes her head and pulls Niall into the kitchen to have her sit down. "It's fine. William doesn't even want to let you go. He wants to take you to London himself, but he's under orders to stay here." She starts to boil water so she can soften some carrots and potatoes.

Niall watches as Teagan tires herself out from crying. "I wouldn't want him to do that and take up all his time. I know I can make it."

Eleanor smiles and nods. "You were in the military, of course you can make it." She bites her lip to stop herself from asking. She sighs. "You fought with my Louis, right?"

"Yes, I did." Niall looks at the picture of Louis hung up on the wall near her, he was young and that alone makes her stomach flip because he died young.

"He wrote about you a lot. I was so grateful that you were his friend. Sounded like he really needed you." Eleanor said softly as she drops the vegetable into the boiling water.

"We were there for each other through everything. He became my brother." Niall feels more guilty, she had betrayed Eleanor and the woman doesn't even know.

She nods with a small smile on her face. "Doesn't surprise me. Had four small sisters back home that he missed terribly. Even now there's five sisters and a brother."

"He was a very caring person, talked about you all the time." She smiles at the woman standing at her stove.

Eleanor stirs the food, hoping to cook it through evenly. "Niall, as much as I appreciate it, I know what you two were up to. Louis told me in letters. If it makes it any better, I told him to go for it."

Niall looks down at her lap. "I tried breaking it off when I found out you two were married and he had a son. I didn't... I still feel guilty about it."

"He apologised a thousand times in a letter. I don't blame either of you. I'm just happy it was you and not the enemy. So many women have stories of their men having kids from the enemy and I'm glad that at least he had a willing partner." Eleanor says as she checks the food. Seeing that it's done, she drains the pot and begins to mash the vegetables together.

"He's not that type of man, he wouldn't take advantage of a woman." Niall tenses slightly thinking about Breslin and what happened at his house.

Eleanor finishes the food and puts it in a bowl with a spoon for Niall. "She may eat this. Try it."

"Teagan, wake up. Are you hungry?" Eleanor kisses her daughter's forehead shaking her lightly.

Teagan slowly opens her eyes, brows furrowed in annoyance. She looks up at her mother expectantly, as if she's going to do nothing at all.

Niall nudges the spoon against her mouth, nodding her head like she's urging her to go on. "It's yummy, I promise."

The small bundle skeptically opens her mouth and takes the spoon being offered. She swallows and gives no sign that she likes it, but she doesn't fight either.

Eleanor chuckles. "You've got yourself an obstinate little girl."

"She's something alright." Niall keeps spoon feeding her, trying to coo and make silly faces.

Soon enough, Aedan runs inside- out of breath and smiling widely. "Mummy! William showed me how to cover our tracks and catch squirrels! Now I can be the man of the house!"

William follows him in a moment later, smiling proudly down at the boy. "He's a natural. Caught onto everything rather quickly."

"That's perfect! You can protect me and Teagan." Niall cheers, sighing when she looks down at her daughter. "Do you like it? I can't tell!"

The girl says nothing, just staring up at her mother with disinterest.

William chuckles and reaches out for the girl. "Here. Let me try."

Figuring it can do no harm she hands her off, being mindful to not drop her. "She's stubborn."

"Hey there, gorgeous." William coos.

Immediately, Teagan's face lights up in a grin. She's squealing and reaching her hands up for his curls.

"Ah, ah, ah. You need to eat for me. Can you do that?" He holds a spoonful up to her, smiling when she immediately eats it.

"Of course." Niall rolls her eyes but she can't help her smile. "She has her first crush."

William laughs lightly. "Don't worry, Teagan. I'll wait till you’re eighteen before asking for your hand. I'll only be thirty seven." He kisses her cheek lightly.

Aedan scrunches his nose in disgust. "Ew! No kisses! Teagan doesn't have cooties and you'll give them to her!"

"Aedan is right. Kisses give girls cooties." Niall pulls her son into her lap kissing along his jaw.

And just like that, they're all laughing and enjoying their last day together.

\------------

Niall turns over on her side, eyes opening when she hears someone rummaging around. She's quiet, careful to look over her shoulder to see who it is.

William is on the floor, shoving more stuff in the small bag Niall was taking with her tomorrow. A matching bag sat beside her own and he’s filling that as well. He wanted to ensure their safety and survival.

"William?" Niall asks, slowly sitting up to ensure neither of her kids would wake up. "What are you doing in here?"

He looks up and smiles nervously. "I was just... Checking your bag? I mean, you can never be too sure about supplies."

"While I'm asleep? This couldn't have waited until tomorrow?" Niall checks to make sure Aedan hasn't woken up.

William looks to the ground knowing he had been caught. "I was packing a second bag because I'm going to follow you guys. I need to make sure you get there safely."

"You have orders to stay here." Niall stands and lightly pushes him back away from the bags.

"I'm sure Colonel Styles would understand. Besides, the IRA is closing in. We have reports that says they'll be here and ready to go within the next two days. We'll all have to leave anyway."

"You can't come. I've already been told by your mother." Niall won't let him get in trouble over her.

"I can protect you though!" He whisper-yells at the woman. "Niall, please. I'll get Teagan to eat and make sure no one harms you."

"No, William, you're staying here. I'll be alright, I've always been." Niall assures, squeezing his shoulder.

He looks to her with a worried expression on his face. "But what if they find you and not my men? Niall, you could be killed if the Irish get a hold of you."

"William." Niall glares. "I've fought in the war. I think I can handle a few IRA members if I need to."

"Fine," William says softly as he tries to contain his pout. "Still doesn't mean I have to like it."

"I know, I know, but once I reach Harry I'll be sure that he calls you to let you know I made it safely." Niall kisses his cheek, she appreciates the concern.

William smiles and kisses her cheek. "I should let you get back to bed. Sun comes up in a few hours."

"Need all the rest I can get." She climbs back into bed, stretching her arms out before settling in.

\------------

Eleanor hugs the children tightly, wanting to keep them safe in her arms. "You guys are going to have such an exciting trip. You'll forget all about boring old Mallow soon enough."

Niall chuckles. "I don't think that's possible. You and William have been a great help to all of us."

Aedan pouts and hugs the woman's legs. "Do we have to go, mummy? I want to stay with Will."

William is silent as he holds the bag filled with her supplies. "You need to get going. They'll be on the move within the hour."

"You'll see Will again, but we have to go for right now okay? We have a new home waiting for us." Niall slings the bag over her shoulder, shifting at the noticeable weight difference adjusting Teagan on her hip.

William kneels down and takes Aedan by the shoulders. "Hey, don't worry. Just remember what I taught you, okay? You get to protect mummy and Teagan now."

The small boy nods and hugs his friend tightly before grabbing his mum's free hand.

"Thank you both. For everything." She sighs before walking off, leaving the small home behind.

They're back in the forest and well into the trees when they hear the crack of gunfire coming from the small town they had left.

Teagan cries against her mother, scared of the loud noises behind them. Aedan is always a foot or two behind, covering their tracks and watching for the bad guys.

Niall hugs Teagan close, kissing her head multiple times and rocking her. "Shh, baby, you'll be alright. It's okay."

They continue like that for most of the day. They only stop by a stream for some water and a small portion of bread and a mashed carrot for Teagan.

A few times Aedan thought he saw someone behind them, but he passed it off as the shadows playing tricks on him. "Mummy? Are the Fairy Folk real?"

"Fairy folk? No, baby, they're just bedtime stories." Niall sighs exhaustedly, trying to shift Teagan around before her arms fall asleep.

Aedan frowns. "Daddy said that if we traveled through the woods at night, they'd help light the way." He squints as he tries to see their own footsteps in the dark.

"I think it's time we rest." Niall settles down on the ground pulling the blankets wrapped around Teagan closer, looking up at her son.

He nods and steps a little bit away from her. "I'll take first watch." It's something he had heard William tell his men when they were all turning in for the night.

"No, you're going to sleep." She's not going to have her four year old stay up late.

"But what if someone tries to hurt us during the night?" Aedan says quietly as he tries to search through the dense trees for the bad guys.

"No one hurt us before when we were out here. Aedan, we'll be fine." Niall kisses his forehead, lying Teagan out on the ground bundled in her blanket.

Though still worried, Aedan nods slowly and lays down next to his sister. "You sure, mummy?"

"I'm sure, baby. Go to sleep, you need to rest." Niall spreads out a blanket for Aedan, tucking him in with another.

He nods and yawns, quickly succumbing to his need for sleep.

Niall does a quick scan of the forest before lying back and settling beside her kids.

\------------

He peers out from behind the trees. He's been following her for a few days now, hiding in the woods while she gallivanted around with those filthy English bastards. He doesn't know how she could let her guard down so easily.

Quietly through the trees he goes, making his way into the small clearing and seeing her there. Without thinking, he creeps up alongside her and lets his fingers trail up her thigh. He forces his hand over her mouth quickly.

Niall wakes up struggling against the hand covering her mouth, fighting at the unknown figure grabbing her from behind.

"Don't fight it. If you do, I'll wake the children and they can watch." The man's voice is gruff and close to her ears.

Niall freezes, glares ahead when she recognizes that voice- Darragh.

Darragh holds her close to him and lets his hands roam across her chest. "Been following you. How dare you stay in that dirty bastard's home."

"Dirty bastard? I served with his father, you filthy arsehole." Niall grabs at his wrists until she remembers what he said about waking the children up.

"Doesn't change the fact that he's unwanted in Ireland." Darragh says venomously. "Now, keep quiet or Aedan gets to watch you get taken again."

Niall glares at him, she can't believe he would do this. Before he had been so kind and loving, a great friend of Sean's and now here he is.

Darragh pulls her away from the children slightly and starts to undo her dress. He doesn't want to leave a single trace. He doesn't want anyone to know. "You should probably know that Bressie is heading for Dublin. Once he takes that, Belfast will be impossible to reach. You might want to take the ferry from Dublin to Holyhead."

"Why are you doing this?" Niall whispers harshly. Darragh is going to take advantage of her, but is also telling her where to go.

"Because as much as Sean was my friend, I love you more. I told him at that memorial service that I thought you were the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. I can't let Bressie hurt you or your children more than he already has." Darragh whispers back, dropping her dress to the side once he gets it off of her.

"Then why do you want to hurt me?" Niall asks quietly. They had been close, friends really.

He doesn't answer. He tightens his grip around her wrists and gets his trousers down just enough before pressing against her entrance. "Don't make a sound," he whispers as he pushes inside her.

Niall bites her tongue and shakes her head, mumbling quietly. "This isn't love. You don't do this to someone you love."

Darragh grits his teeth as he pulls out of her and pushes right back in. "I said quiet." He yanks her hair, pulling so her head is back at an awkward angle.

Niall closes her eyes and tries to think of anyone else, Harry is the first to come to mind. She misses him so much, he would protect her.

He continues, using her and taking what he wanted. He holds her close, fingers digging into her waist and chest. Every now and then he'll force her face sideways so he can press their lips together, but it's chaste and not at all sweet. His breathing quickly becomes laboured and with a moan so soft and quiet he comes inside of her. "Jesus, Niall."

Niall just curls away from him and cries quietly. She's been so good at being emotionless, but it's too much now- too overwhelming.

Darragh fixes himself so he's presentable before moving her as best he can to redress her. He stays quiet as her gets her ready and lays her next to her children again.

He leans down and kisses her hair, tucking a blanket around tightly. "Sweet dreams, love."

Niall refuses to acknowledge him, wrapping her arm around her children muffling the sounds of her crying.

\------------

"Aedan." Niall says, shaking his shoulder. It hurts leaning over Teagan to do so, everything hurts.

The boy is awake immediately, looking around with suspicion. "Mummy?"

"It's time to go." Niall slowly stands, wincing at the pain burning through her.

Aedan frowns. "Are you okay, mummy? Are you hurt?" He stands and makes his way around his sister to make sure his mum is okay.

"Yeah, baby, just slept wrong." Niall shrugs wrapping one arm around his shoulders, pulling him in for a hug.

Aedan frowns, but doesn't question it as he hugs her back. He starts to pack up their stuff and tears off a piece of bread for Niall and an even smaller piece for himself. "We can feed Teagan when we reach a river."

Niall takes the offered piece of bread from his hands, being careful to pick up her daughter and the bags once they're packed. She winces again at the sharp pain.

"I'm carrying Teagan." Aedan says with a pout. He wants to help and his mummy is in too much pain for this.

"You'll drop her Aedan, she's too heavy for you." As much as it would help she doesn't want something to happen to either of them, she has to be strong and pull through.

"Mummy, I can do it. Please. I just want to help." Aedan says, pleading for a chance to be useful.

Niall sighs and stares down at him. "If she gets too heavy you tell me immediately, okay? I don't want either of you to get hurt."

Aedan nods quickly and reaches out for his sister. "Come on, Teagan. Mummy needs a rest."

Niall carefully hands Teagan over, making sure Aedan has a hold of her before she lets go. It's honestly such a relief. "Now let's get going towards that river."

\------------

Niall almost collapses when they finally reach a river, her feet ache and her thighs burn she isn't sure how much longer she could have kept it up. "We're going to take a break here."

Aedan nods and sets Teagan down on the grass to sit and play. "Should we get Teagan's food now, mummy?"

"Can you feed her? Mummy needs a bath." She feels so dirty, she can still feel Darragh.

Aedan nods and grabs the metal bowl that he had seen his mum use before when making Teagan's food. He quickly filled it with water before frowning. "Mummy, I need fire."

Niall sighs and grabs whatever sticks are in reach, which aren't much, and bends down almost crying out at the stretch and burn. She tries breathing through her nose, taking a minute to calm down.

Aedan looks at his mum in concern before smiling as she starts a small fire. "Thank you, mummy. I can do it from here."

"Be careful, don't burn yourself." Niall walks a few feet downstream to keep from her kids seeing her but she could still keep an eye on him. She undresses slowly, shivering as she steps into the cold stream.

He nods as he starts to boil the water. He turns to Teagan and smiles brightly. "Mummy is the best. I wish daddy was here to make her happy again."

Teagan babbles gibberish other than occasionally saying mum and something that vaguely sounded like brother.

Niall is scrubbing her skin raw, trying to get rid of the feeling of Darragh inside her. God what would Sean think? She splashes water across her face if not to pretend that the wetness below get cheeks isn't tears. She's stronger than this, she has to be. Sean would tell her to get her shit together for the sake of her children.

She finishes up, skin red and her hair wet pulling her dress back up her bruised body and joining her kids.

"Daddy was the best. He gave the greatest hugs and always told me that mummy would protect me no matter what." Aedan says as he fishes the boiled carrots from the pot and begins to mash them. "Mummy will protect you too. You're littler so she loves you more."

Niall clears her throat, smiling softly at her son. "Well aren't you a good boy helping mummy."

Aedan blushes and shrugs. "Daddy said to take care of you and Teagan so that's what I'm doing."

Niall leans down and kisses his cheek. "Do you want me to feed her or do you want to?"

"Can you do it? I want to nap. I didn't sleep good last night." The boy says with a yawn.

"Of course, baby." Niall starts making him a bed, kissing his forehead and bundling him up.

He smiles sleepily as he rolls over and away from his mother.

"Mum mum," Teagan says with a giggle as she reaches out for her mother.

"Can't forget about you." Niall picks her daughter up, settling her in her lap, spoon feeding her the mashed vegetables.

Teagan eats them happily. She sticks her fingers in the bowl and smears some across her mother's face. She shrieks in laughter at the orange against pale skin.

Niall starts to laugh smearing a little on her cheek. "Silly girl, you're supposed to eat it!"

The small girl just laughs more as she sticks her fingers in her mouth. She yawns around her small hand and rests her head against Niall's shoulder. "Da da…”

Niall's stomach clenches. "He's watching over you, making sure you're safe and sound. You and Aedan both."

Teagan looks up at her confused. She doesn't understand that her dad is gone forever. The girl's eyes follow her finger up and soon she's looking at clouds. She smiles and waves up at nothing.

"Why don't you take a nap?" She kisses Teagan's nose lying her daughter on her chest.

Yawning once more, Teagan lets her eyes close and for her breathing to even out in sleep.

\------------

Aedan hefts Teagan up as they walk. It's been a painful two hours. He's noticed that his mum is hurt and doesn't want to hurt her further, but Teagan is starting to grow heavy in his arms. "Mummy? Can we please stop for a minute? My arms hurt."

Niall looks back at her son. "Why don't you let me take her? You need a break anyway, sweetheart."

"Because I can do it. I can carry her. I just need a rest." He says adamantly. He told his dad that he'd take care of them and he can't have his mummy hurting this way.

"Alright, let's sit down." Niall helps Aedan lay Teagan down on the blanket grabbing his arm after. "Your mammy taught me a trick when I was younger whenever my arms or legs hurt."

Aedan crawls into his mother's lap and looks up at her with a smile. "What was it, mummy?"

Niall presses her thumbs into his arm beginning to massage the tissue she can feel beneath the surface. "I know it feels uncomfortable right now, but you'll feel much better afterwards."

He squirms around in her lap. It's more than uncomfortable, it really hurts. He puts up with it though because he knows mummy wouldn't lie to him. "Can we have a bit more bread?"

"Of course," Niall lets go of his arm long enough to get the loaf out breaking a piece of it off and handing it to her son, getting back to massaging his arm before moving on to the other.

He eats it greedily. It's been two days since leaving William's town and their food is in short supply. He's been feeding his mum and Teagan and saving up for his mum instead of eating like he should. "Where are we going, mum?"

"Clonmel, it should only be a mile or two away now. You'll get a warm bed and we'll stock up on food again." Niall promises letting his arms rest.

Aedan looks over at his sleeping sister and feels quite jealous that she doesn't have to deal with any on this. "Are we staying there long?"

"No, just for a night to restock and sleep." Niall wraps her arms around him, hugging him close.

"Mummy..." Aedan isn't sure he should ask, but it's been bothering him. "How did daddy die?"

"He," Niall clears her throat. How does she explain this to her son? "Some very bad men found us and your daddy saved us."

"Was it the English?" Aedan doesn't understand why people keep saying the English are bad people. Every Englishman he's met has been nice to him.

"No, they were Irish." Niall runs her fingers through his hair holding him close.

Aedan is silent, clutching at his mother's shirt. He wonders if this is really how the world works. "I miss daddy. I don't want to be Irish anymore."

"Baby... Not all Irish are like that. There were some bad Irish men, but they're not all like that. Am I bad? Was your daddy bad?"

"But you're English. You always get along with them. Daddy... Daddy didn't like the English very much. When I went with him to his parties, he would be mean to them." Aedan remembers well the IRA meetings he was dragged to and how the men there- including his father- would curse the English.

"Daddy found out the English were nice that's why he wanted to leave." How does she explain this?

The small boy stays silent, not really sure what to think. "Are we going to live with the English?"

"Yes." Niall tilts Aedan's chin up to make eye contact. "I know you're scared, I'm a little scared too, but I'm always going to protect you, Aedan."

He smiles lightly and nods, hugging his mother tightly. "And I'm going to protect you. I promised daddy I would."

"We'll protect each other and your sister." Niall just holds him tight.

It's quiet for a few moments until Teagan awakes and begins to cry. She's full on wailing and looking around for someone to hold her.

Niall immediately reaches down and picks her up, cooing at her.

Aedan frowns. "Do you want me to carry her, mummy? It's only a little bit farther."

"Aedan, I'm okay now. I can take her." Niall hugs her close, getting to her feet and slinging the bag over her shoulder.

He still looks skeptical, but nods slowly. "Okay. We should probably hurry along then. The sun is starting to go down."

Niall wonders how much Will taught him, her son seems to be an entirely new person. "You're right. We'll get there."

Aedan smiles brightly and lets his mother lead the way. "Come on then. It's getting dark faster now."

Niall ruffles his hair and picks up her pace.

It doesn't take long before she sees lights and realises they're on the outskirts of town. "We're here."

Aedan smiles and looks at the town. It's smaller than Mallow, but it looks like it has ten times the amount of people. "How do we know they'll help us?"

"I have a letter." Niall leads him in, looking around until she sees an inn next to a pub. "You hungry?"

His stomach growls loudly before he can protest. "A little..." He doesn't want his mum to know that he's been skipping meals so they last longer with food.

"Well you can eat as much as you want." Niall leads him inside, the little bell above the door chiming.

The man behind the counter looks up with a smile. "Well hello there! Take a seat wherever and I'll be right with you."

Niall nods and smiles, ushering Aedan towards a booth near the back. "Get whatever you want."

The waiter quickly brings them some water and smiles brightly at them. "You must be from another town. I've not seen you around here before. My name's Josh, by the way."

"I'm Niall and these are my kids Aedan and Teagan. Also, do you by chance have a highchair? I need to sit my daughter somewhere." She smiles softly.

The entire restaurant goes silent as her voice drifts through the establishment.

Josh looks nervously down at his notepad. "Um, ma'am, I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to ask you to leave. We don't serve the Irish here."

Niall frowns. "I have a letter here from an English general, explaining that you have to serve me- Irish or not."

There's a murmur through the pub and Josh is blushing as the attention is focused on him and this woman. "It's not my call, ma'am. You'll have to see General Payne. He's the one who put the rules in place."

"Where is he then? I'm trying to feed my children." Niall asks calmly.

"The big building at the end of the road. It's basically town hall." Josh says as he points in the general direction.

"This is absolutely ridiculous, they're young children for Christ's sake." Niall tries not to react. She gets up, crading Teagan close to her chest and motions for Aedan to follow   
her.

They find themselves back on the road. Looking both directions, Niall spots what has to be the building Josh had been talking about and starts her march towards the wooden structure.

\------------

General Payne looks up from his desk as his doors are thrown open. When he sees a woman and two children standing there, he rolls his eyes. "Clerk, give them five shillings and send them on their way."

"I'm not here for five shillings! I want to be served in this town!" Niall holds the letter out in front of her body waving it a little.

The man sighs and snatches the paper from her hand, opening it and reading over it carefully. "When did you get this letter?"

 

"A few days ago, from Private William Tomlinson." Niall watches him read over the paper, waiting.

“Well, you’ll forgive us for being a bit over cautious. Mallow has been utterly destroyed since the date of this letter.” He scoffs and looks to her.

"D-Destroyed?" Niall falters, eyes widening at his words. Destroyed? It can't be true.

"It's been burned to the ground. I have a few men in the town who survived, but most are unaccounted for and most were trapped when the fire started." He says angrily as he snaps his pencil in half in the frustrations.

"Did William Tomlinson make it out? Is he one of the survivors?" Niall tries to remain sensible but the thought of William hurt.

The man shakes his head. "We've heard nothing from Tomlinson.

Niall tries to hold onto the hope that he made it out, he had to. There's no way he couldn't.

"Miss... Cullen, is it? You have to realise why we're hesitant about letting the Irish into our borders. The IRA is becoming increasingly bold with their attacks."

"I understand, but they're the very people who murdered my husband. I am seeking permanent residence in an English controlled city."

General Payne sighs. "Fine. You can only stay for two nights though. And if the IRA attack once you've gone, we'll be sending word ahead that you're their spy." He scribbles a note onto an official looking paper and hands it over, knocking a picture frame over in the process.

Niall automatically looks down at the frame lying crooked across the desktop, almost freezing when she sees it. A picture of Liam. "General Payne… You're Liam's dad."

The older man looks up at the girl, a hard and emotionless look on his face. "I was Liam's dad. That's just a memory now."

"I served with your son, did he ever mention a Niall Horan?" She can't help pick up the framed photo running her fingers across Liam's face.

"Maybe to his mother. I was fighting in the war as well. The last time I saw him was when he was enlisting as a medic." General Payne says slowly as if he isn't trying to hold back his tears. He clears his throat a few more times trying to get himself under control.

"We were bunked together with Louis Tomlinson, Harry Styles, and Zayn Malik." Her heart swells saying their names."

He looks up at the names. "He wrote about Harry and Zayn a lot. I think Karen said that they went through basic together." He sighs and covers his eyes to ensure he didn't cry. "They all died except Harry. Now all these young men are dying because the Irish don't want peace."

"If it's any consolation your son was very brave. Risked his life to stitch me up when I took a bullet to the side. But I hope you know that he's not forgotten." She looks down at Aedan, smiling. "Remember what I told you about Liam?"

He nods solemnly. "You said he was the happiest person you ever met. You said he got really sad when someone was hurt."

Niall nods. "I would tell my son stories about your son and the others, how they made such a difference in my life."

General Payne frowns. "I still need you out of town in two days time."

Niall bows her head. "I understand, sir. If you'll just allowed us to be serviced."

"Of course. I'll fill your provisions before you leave as well. It's what Liam would have done." The general says quietly.

"Thank you, sir." Niall squeezes Aedan's hand. Things would hopefully get easier.

\------------

Niall waits in the room she had been instructed to, fingers tapping against the chair. She had left Aedan and Teagan in their room back at the inn sleeping, locking the door behind her.

There's a quick knock on the door before it’s opened and a doctor comes in looking at the woman's charts. "Niall is it? Hello, I'm Jay. Usually, I'm a midwife, but I do have a full nurse's training. What seems to be the problem here?"

"I was assaulted outside the city a few nights ago, I'd like to get checked for... Damage." Niall looks at her lap awkwardly.

The woman nods and makes a quick note in her chart before setting it aside. "Alright. What area are you most concerned about? We'll start there and work our way out from there."

"I just wanted to make sure there isn't any serious tearing and... He wasn't wearing anything. I'd like to make sure I'm not pregnant." That's the last thing Niall can handle.

"Well, it's too early to tell if you’re pregnant, but we’ll run a test anyway. If you’ve had any unprotected sex in the last three months, there’s a chance you could be pregnant. I can definitely make sure you're healthy too." The nurse says with a sympathetic smile. "Just lean back and let me get a look, okay? I promise I'll be as gentle as I can."

Niall nods and leans back, hands grabbing the armrests of the chair so hard her knuckles turn a shade of white.

Jay carefully moves the skirt and underdress aside and begins her examination. "Whoever he was, he definitely wasn't gentle. There's a bit of swelling and inflammation, but luckily no tearing." She looks up at the woman. "I'm going to spread some antibacterial cream around so that we can make sure you're clean and such. It'll also help with the pain and should help the swelling as well."

Niall nods her head, relieved it's not as bad as she thinks it is. "Thank you, doctor."

The woman nods and hums lightly as she begins her work. "Trust me, I understand the pain of after sex. Granted all of mine has been consensual, but I did have seven children."

"I've had two, the pain was bearable with my husband." He'd always make sure she was feeling alright.

"Husbands are the best. Well, usually. I'm on number three so hopefully he works out better than the last two." Jay chuckles as she finishes up and puts Niall's skirt back down.

"Hopefully. I'm actually going to meet a man that I've been a little in love with for awhile." Niall smiles softly.

"Really now? He must be a really good lover to have you traveling cross country to get to him with two children." Jay grabs a syringe to fill with her blood for the pregnancy test.

Niall flushes pink and shrugs as she looks away from the needle. "I'd be a lot safer with him. He's a lieutenant-colonel actually."

Jay raises as an eyebrow as she takes the amount of blood needed and scribbles the girl's information onto the chart. "A lieutenant-colonel? Must be a very important man then. I know a few generals. Left my girls and youngest son with one in London before coming to Ireland to help."

"Do you know a Lieutenant-Colonel Styles then?" She asks, the chances are small, but she asks anyway.

Her smile falters. "He was a captain when I met him. Right after the Great War, he was in Doncaster to visit my family. He told us my son was one of the greatest men he had met in the battlefield. He was quite the charmer."

"He definitely charmed me." Niall chuckles, until there's a question in her mind. "Who was your son?"

"Captain Louis William Tomlinson. Harry told me how he was killed and I just wish he would never have been so stupidly irresponsible." Her voice grows quieter as she talks.   
"He knew he wasn't allowed to die. He... He had a wife, a son, five little sisters, and a baby brother to come home to. It's... Why would he be so stupid and take his helmet off?"

Niall closes her eyes. "I served with Louis. Did he ever mention a Niall Horan?"

"In his letters. Said he was a fine young man with a tragic past. Said I would have to to meet him one day and... Wait, wait, wait. He said you were a man."

"Everyone thought I was, they wouldn't let me join if they knew I was a woman." Of course Louis wouldn't say, if their letters were read she would have been found out.

Jay looks over the girl before her and takes in the information. "He called you his best friend. He said you were the only one he could trust with everything."

Niall smiles, she didn't realize she meant that much to him. "He was my best friend as well."

"Have you met the others' parents? Obviously you met Liam's father, but you must meet Zayn's family. They took his death so hard. It actually broke their family apart."

Niall looks at her hands. "It's my fault Zayn is dead. It should have been me instead of him."

Jay frowns. "Trisha will never let you say again. She's proud of her son. Yaser on the hand... Well, the fact you're a woman will probably change a lot of things."

"Would it be better if I don't meet them? I don't think I could take being accused by his own family."

She thinks for a moment. "I'll write them a letter and explain everything. Trisha has always expressed an interest in meeting any of Zayn's war buddies."

Niall nods. "Maybe one day I'll meet them. Right now, I need to get my children to London."

"Of course. I don't want to impede your journey." Jay says softly with a light smile.

There's a knock on the door before a young nurse sticks her head in. "Nurse Jay? There's a woman in room six who needs immediate attention."

Niall looks back at the woman. "That's probably my cue to leave. It was nice to meet you."

"Same, love. I’ll run your test immediately and have General Payne tell you the results." Jay kisses her cheek and hands her the bottle of antibacterial cream before hurrying out the door.

\------------

Aedan frowns as he looks over the fruit and vegetable selection at the marketplace. He knows that Teagan likes carrots and potatoes, but what else?

Niall adjusts Teagan on her hip, chatting up a few of the women she had ended up running into.

The small boy scurries over to his mother and tugs on her skirt. "Mummy, what fruit and vegetables does Teagan like?"

One of the women coos. "Is this your little boy? He's too adorable!"

"Looks just like his father." Niall smiles and runs her fingers through his hair. "She likes potatoes, carrots, and turnips." The mother looks at her son questioningly.

He smiles shyly at the woman before waving at her and taking off to the fruits and vegetables again. Smiling up at the vendor, he starts to look over the display. He takes the money from his pocket to count how much he had.

The man smiles down at the small boy. "What can I do for you lad? We have some chocolates that just came in?"

"I need potatoes and turnips." Aedan says shyly. He holds up the money his mother had given him to buy himself a treat.

The man nods and smiles looking around to see no one nearby. "How about I give you those chocolates for free?"

Aedan smiles shyly. "If you think so, sir. I just need to get food for my baby sister."

"For a lovely lad like you." He wraps the vegetables and gets a few chocolates in a separate bag, along with a few candies for the baby.

"Thank you. How much do I owe you?" He stretches up on his tippy toes to reach the bags and hand the man his money.

"It's your lucky day. Why don't you go on and get back to your mum?" He looks over at the blonde facing away from them.

Aedan looks surprised, but nods nonetheless. "Thank you, sir. Are you sure you won't take any of it?"

"I'm sure, now go on." He waves the small child off turning around to help another customer.

Heading back to his mother, Aedan smiled brightly as he handed the bags to her. "Mummy! Mummy, look it!"

Niall looks down and smiles. "You bought food? You didn't have to do that baby."

"He wouldn't let me pay." Aedan says as he hands her the money he gave her with his other hand.

"Did you say thank you?" She stashes the money away, hoisting Teagan up a little.

He nods fervently. "I even tried to give him money lots of times."

"Alright." Niall takes the food and pushes it in her bag, leaning down to kiss him. "Good job, love."

"We should probably try to get Teagan a different outfit since she's starting to outgrow the one Daddy bought for her." Aedan says with a triumphant smile.

"Daddy would be extremely proud of you, Aedan." She hopes it'll make him feel better, this whole thing had been tough on him.

A blush fills the boy's face as he looks at the ground. "I just miss him. I want him to know that I can take care of you guys."

"And you are. He's watching you, Aedan; he already knows." Niall hugs him before fully standing up.

\------------  
Geoff Payne was a man a few emotions and even fewer words. It hurt a hell of a lot more than he let anyone know when he found out his only son had been killed. He remembers coming home and expecting to see him standing there with his sisters and mother, but instead it was his sisters, mother, and a neatly folded Union Jack.

Meeting someone who had served with his son and spoke so highly of him hurt in every way imaginable. He wanted to help the woman though, so that's why he found himself outside her inn room at eight in the evening.

Sighing heavily, he knocked.

Niall leaves Aedan listening to the radio while he lied in bed next to his sister who was already sleeping. She shrugs on her light coat and opens the door surprised to see the man standing there. "General Payne, to what do I owe the pleasure?"

He clears his throat and grips tighter to the bag in his hand. "I asked around town as to what you had bought. I noticed a severe lack of clothing and shoes for your little boy. When you all were in my office the other day, it was clear that his shoes are obviously too small."

Niall sighs and nods. "He's getting big, but shoes are expensive and we don't have the money to replace them right now."

"That's why I have these." He pulls out a pair of little boy's hiking shoes. "There's also a new outfit and a summer coat in there for him."

Niall smiles softly down at the shoes then up at him. "Thank you so much, you really didn't have to."

The man shrugs. "He reminds me of Liam at that age. My son had a tendency to forget his own needs and help others first."

"He's really been trying to watch over Teagan and I. He promised his father he would." She grows quiet thinking about Sean.

"What are you going to do now that their father is gone? Will you remarry or...?" Geoff suddenly feels responsible for the well being of this small family.

"I'm going to meet Lieutenant-Colonel Styles. I don't know what will happen." Niall sighs.

The man nods and looks to the clock in her room. "I should let you sleep. You have an early day tomorrow. I'm sorry that you can't stay here longer."

"It's alright, thank you for everything you've been able to do for us." She kisses his cheek and smiles.

"If you'd like, my wife and I would love to have breakfast with you three before you journey on. Maybe in the pub around seven?" He asks quietly, seeing the sleeping children down the hall.

"That sounds wonderful, we'll be there." After they exchange goodbyes Niall slips into bed next to her children, snuggling close to them.  
Aedan squirms a bit, waking up and looking at his mother. "Is Colonel Styles going to be our new daddy?"

Niall is silent for a long moment, long enough she isn't sure if he's still awake. "He'll never replace your father, but he'll help."

\------------

The bell above the door in the pub chimes as Niall enters, thanking Aedan for opening it. She looks around, smiling when she spots General Payne and his wife.

Aedan scampers over to the table in his new clothes and shoes and smiles up at the two adults there. "Mummy said you got these for me."

Geoff smiles and nods. "Indeed we did. I know how much you sacrifice to make sure your sister and mummy are safe. You deserve them, little soldier."

Niall musses his hair walking by, sliding into the empty booth across from the other two adults. "He really is."

Karen smiles brightly and looks at the small girl attached the woman. "I've heard so much about Aedan, but who is this delightful little girl?"

"This is Teagan. She's about eight months now." Niall moves Teagan's hand which happens to be wrapped around her finger, making her wave.

"Well hello, Miss Teagan. You're going to be a stunning young woman someday. I can already guarantee your dark curls will be breaking hearts." Karen says as she waves back and reaches forward to the little girl.

"Can she hold you?" She looks down at her little girl for any sign that she wouldn't want that. When her daughter just looks at her she's careful to hand her over.

Karen takes the small child and cradles her to her chest wanting to keep her warm and safe. "I miss having kids this small. Liam was our youngest and he hated to be coddled."

Geoff nods and smiles when he sees the waiter. "I ordered a little bit of everything breakfast for us, by the way. I want you all to eat until full."

"I don't know how I'll ever repay the both of you. Thank you for welcoming us." She wraps her arm around Aedan pulling him close.

Teagan yawns and leans against Karen's chest. She promptly starts to doze off.

When the food is brought to the table, Aedan's eyes widen. "Is this for us, mummy?"

"Eat as much as you want, love. There's enough for everyone." She moves their utensils so that the waitress can set it all down.

Geoff smiles and puts two pancakes, some eggs, bacon, and cornbeef hash on a plate. "Here you go, Aedan."

The small boys eyes widen and his smile is huge. "Can I really eat all that?"

"Yes, that's for you." Niall smiles softly at the way his eyes light up, kissing the crown of his head.

"So, Niall," Karen asks as they all begin to load up plates, "what's the final destination? You can't just be lugging these children around the country for fun."

"London, we're meeting Harry there." Niall chops some food up for Teagan, looking up at Karen.

"Harry? Is he helping you get situated then? Such a nice boy. He truly is one of the nicest." She shifts the sleeping girl in her arms so she can eat the plate her husband had made for her.

"He doesn't know we're coming. In fact I don't know if he knows what happened to Sean." Niall sighs.

Geoff hums. "He knows. We got communications the other day to report if any of us come into contact with you. Apparently English intelligence found Sean and he wants to make sure you're safe."

"Does he know we're headed to London as well?" Niall asks, paying more attention to the man than to eating.

"Not that I know of. He's been asking us to relay any information that we can to him." Geoff says before taking a hefty sip of coffee. "Do you want me to tell him that you're on your way?"

"Yes, I want to ease his mind somewhat." He wouldn't be so calm when he finds out what she's had to endure, but she would tell him that later.

Karen smiles and runs her fingers through Teagan's hair as she stirs awake. "So what's the plan with Harry?"

"Not really sure. He and I have always had a... Connection. I'm hoping he can help us out." Niall hasn't really thought about that or what she wants.

Aedan looks up from where he's shoving pancakes into his mouth. "He's going to be Teagan and my new daddy." His voice is a little bitter sounding.

"Aedan," Niall scalds him. She's not even sure if that's what it's going to be.

He looks back down, not wanting to say how he feels about the situation.

Geoff clears his throat. "I'll let him know you're on your way then."

"Thank you." Niall begins to eat her breakfast, somewhat relaxed.

They continue eating, a comfortable silence surrounding them as they did so. Niall is shocked when Aedan eats his entire plate of food and goes back for more cornbeef hash and eggs. They eat until they’re stuffed, even getting Teagan to eat some of the egg that had been made for them.

When they’re finished, the small family prepares to leave for their next foray into the woods. General Payne grabs Niall’s wrist gently and pulls her aside as Karen fusses over the children. “Nurse Tomlinson asked me to speak with you before you left.”

Niall, in all her excitement of feeling somewhat settled for the last two days, had forgotten all about the test. Her stomach dropped a bit and she could feel her breakfast suddenly sit not so perfectly in her stomach. “Yes?”

“She told me to tell you to take your journey easy because you are pregnant. She said that the only good news about this though is that it’s way too early for it to be anyone within the last month.” General Payne looks at the floor. This wasn’t the information the woman needed right now.

Niall could feel the air leave her lungs as if she had been punched in the stomach. The only saving grace was that it couldn’t be Darragh or Breslin’s child. She found herself touching at her still flat stomach. There was a baby in there and that baby could only be one of two peoples- one was now dead and the other still far away in London.

\------------

Aedan walks quickly after his mum as they make their way through the woods. He notices that she seems to in minimal pain since her doctor's visit and he's happy that she's better.

Teagan is biting at her shoulder, feeling the urge to naw on something. "Mum mum."

Niall continues to walk, looking down at her daughter in her arms. "You hungry? Want food?"

"Hurts," the small child mumbles as she chomps on her fingers.

"I think her teeth are starting to come in. She's been uncomfortable in the gum area." Aedan says with a shrug.

Niall stops and searches around in her bag until she finds a piece of cloth, holding it out to Aedan. "Tie this into a tight knot for me."

Aedan does as he's told and hands the finished product back to his mother. He's not watching where he's going though and the next thing he knows, he's on the ground and his ankle is throbbing in pain. "Jesus!"

"Aedan!" Niall sets Teagan down putting the knot into her mouth and telling her to chew on it. She turns towards her son, running her fingers along his leg. "Tell me where it hurts."

Tears run down the boy's face as he points to his ankle. "There. My ankle. It hurts so bad, mummy. Jesus, it hurts."

Niall doesn't know what to do. She's carried both of them before, but she doesn't know if she can do it again, not in her new found predicament. "It's okay, lovebug, it'll be alright."

Aedan wipes at the tears as he tries to stand. He whimpers as he puts any weight on his ankle. "I can't walk on it, mummy."

"Why don't we rest here for now?" It's the only thing she can think to do given the current situation.

He slumps down to the ground and grabs his ankle. It's hot and slightly swollen and he rubs it lightly. "Daddy would know how to fix my ankle."

Niall takes the cloth out of Teagan's mouth just to tear off a good chunk of it before putting it back in. "I don't know how to fix it but I can help it." She goes to the small stream next to them to drench it in ice cold water, tying it around his ankle to provide some relief.

"I miss daddy." Aedan says as he sniffles. He looks miserably at his ankle and goes about wiping at his nose.

"I miss him too, love." She sits next to him, pulling him into her side.

Aedan leans into her embrace. "I don't want Harry to be my new daddy. I don't want a new daddy at all."

"Aedan, he's not your new daddy and he never will be. He can never replace him." Niall kisses his head.

"So you won't marry him like you married daddy? You don't love him?" He smiles at that. He doesn't want anyone with his mum.

Niall frowns, she's not sure if she can really answer that truthfully when she doesn't even know herself. "I love you, Aedan."

He winces as his ankle twinges a bit, but he smiles nonetheless. "I love you too, mummy. I promise that I'll take care of you and Teagan in London too."

"Aedan," Niall says again looking down at him. "I don't love Teagan more than you. She might need more attention, but I don't love her more. I absolutely love and adore you just as much."

Aedan shrugs. "You have to say that. It's your job as my mum."

"But I really mean it." She grabs his chin so they're making eye contact. "I love you."

"I love you too, mummy. I know that Teagan needs more attention, but since daddy left it just feels like I can't be a kid." Aedan says softly not wanting to make his mother angry.

"I want you to be a kid, Aedan. You don't need to be an adult." Niall runs her fingers through his hair.

"I have to be because daddy is gone. I need to be like daddy." Aedan says with a sad look. "He left me the rosary for a reason."

"Aedan, listen to me. Daddy doesn't want you to be exactly like him. He wants you to be a kid. He gave you that rosary so that you'll still have hope that everything will be alright."

Aedan is silent. He knows he needs to protect his family, but now his mum is saying he needs to be a kid. "I'll try."

"Thank you. Now, I need you to rest up alright?" She cuddles him close, lying his head on her chest.

He yawns and curls up close to his mother. He just wants to feel protected once more instead of feeling like he needs to protect.

\------------

Niall holds Teagan close to her chest, her other hand holding Aedan's while they walk further. He's still limping and she's hoping he's okay. "We're almost there, love. Not too much farther."

Aedan whimpers with every step. His ankle hasn't gotten better and he's been wondering if it's more than just a simple ouch. "I can make it, mummy."

"Are you sure?" Niall doesn't want him to be in pain, she'd rather carry the both of them.

He nods. He won't complain until they're safe in a town. "Yeah. I can... I can do it, mummy."

Niall looks at her eldest, stopping to make sure she gets a proper look at him. "Are you absolutely sure?"

"No," his eyes well up with tears as he collapses onto the forest floor.

Niall immediately stops, kneeling down as best as she can with Teagan in her arms. "I can carry you if you need."

"But you can't carry Teagan and me." Aedan wipes at his tears. "Do you want to just leave me here and take Teagan to the next town?"

"I've carried you both before I can do it again." There's no way she's leaving anyone behind.

"I'm too big." Aedan says sadly. He knows that his mum can't carry them both.

"Aedan, come here." She leans down to allow him to get on her back.

He looks at her skeptically. "You sure? I don't want you to carry too much." Nevertheless, he scrambles as best he can over to his mother.

Niall isn't going to tell him that it's hard for her. She's going to try to carry the both of them, she'll do what she can at least.

Teagan squeals in delight as Aedan is now in her sights. She reaches out for her brother and clasps hands with him over their mother's shoulder.

Aedan smiles, but hides his face in the crook of his mother's neck as his ankle is jostled as they carry on.

Niall's having a hard time. She was having a hard time with Teagan to begin with, but this is different with two kids. She's trying to balance both of them and it's probably her determination that's allowing her to do it in the first place.

Aedan tries his best not to cry, but he can't help it. It just hurts too much.

Teagan is squirming around, wanting to get down from her mother's arms. "Mummy, down!"

Niall stops, getting onto her knees to allow them both down without dropping either one of them.

Aedan slips off and grabs at his ankle. "I can make it the rest of the way. It's not too much farther... Right?"

"Aedan," Niall looks at her son and hugs him. She hates that he's in pain.

"Can we stay in town for a few more days? I don't know if I can walk on my ankle after this." Aedan says as he tries to figure a way around this injury.

"Of course, love. I'll have you see a doctor as well." It's a good thing General Payne had given her extra money.

He nods and looks up from the ground to see the edge of the forest and the fortifications of the next town. The flag above the entrance was the Irish rebels tricolour and he had a bad feeling about this place. "Mum, it's an Irish controlled city."

Niall nods and smiles, "it'll be alright we have the accent after all. They won't know the difference."

He nods and stands as gingerly as possible. "Do you want me to carry Teagan?"

"No, you're hurt." She hoists Teagan back up along with the bag. She hates that her son has to be put through this.

"You sure?" Aedan takes a painful step towards the village and looks at his mother to be sure that she didn't need his help.

"Aedan, I'm positive. Now let's hurry." Well hurry as best as they can, but she wants to get him to a doctor fast.

He limps and hobbles along, trying his best to keep up. He keeps telling himself that they're almost there, but he doesn't feel like they're getting any closer.

"Do you need a break?" Niall asks over her her shoulder. She's worried about her son.

He shakes his head, teeth grinding into each other. If they stop, he won't be able to get back up. "Keep going, mummy."

"Alright." She's still cautious, doesn't want something worse to happen to him.

It's another few minutes before they make it to the edge of the city. Aedan leans against the old city's wall and hopes that they're safe here. He's ready to pass out from pain.

"Just a little farther, we just need to find a place to stay." Niall looks around until she thinks she spots one.

A lady spots them and frowns. "Can I help you? I don't think I've seen you around town before."

"We want to get to Dublin, but we need a place to rest for a few days. My son is injured." Niall moves so that she can see Aedan.

"Oh! There's a refugee hospital down the street and a shelter across from there. It's probably the best you'll be able to get. The city's been flooded as the English take control of other cities."

Niall nods, its better than nothing. "Just a little farther, Aedan. Then you can rest for a few days."

Aedan nods and does his best to hold in the whimpers and screams of pain that want to escape him. "Okay. We can make it."

"You're a strong little boy I know you can." She grabs his hand and leads him towards where the woman had pointed out.

The hospital smells like disinfectant and cries of young children can be heard everywhere. There's doctors and nurses running around every which way.

Aedan drops into the nearest open chair and reaches up for his sister. "If you can get a doctor, I can hold her for you."

Niall nods and situates Teagan in Aedan's lap heading off to find someone. Eventually she spots a doctor, "excuse me, sir?"

A young fresh faced doctor turns and smiles at the woman. "Hello. How can I help you today, ma'am?"

"My son, he twisted his ankle pretty bad." Niall frowns and looks back at her son.

"We'll do our best, but we have others who are injured much worse than a twisted ankle." He picks up a clipboard from the nurses' desk and hands it to her. "Write his name and what's wrong with him and we'll get to him when we can."

"Is there anything I can do or give you to get him looked at sooner?" She's willing to pay for it.

The doctor gives her a quick once over and takes in her haggard appearance. "I'm sorry. He'll have to wait like everyone else."

Niall groans and fills out the paperwork refraining from tossing it at him.

"Thank you, ma'am. I'll keep you updated as best I can." He says with a sympathetic smile.

She heads back to her children, sitting next to them. "We'll have to wait a little, sweetheart."

Aedan nods as he plays with Teagan. "I've twisted my ankle before and it wasn't this painful. What if it's really bad?"

"We'll figure something out." She kisses his forehead trying to be reassuring.

It's another two hours before the same doctor comes out to Niall. His scrubs have blood on then and his once joyous smile seems worn out and tired, but he comes to her all the same.

"I have a break. Aedan? Let's get you checked out." He smiles as best he can and holds his hand out to help Niall from her chair.

"Thank you," Niall stands up with his help, picking Teagan up.

The doctor waves a wheelchair over to have Aedan wheeled into an examination room. "So how did this happen?"

"We were walking into town, my son wasn't paying attention to where he was walking." Niall explains.

The doctor starts to rotate the ankle, stopping immediately when the boy winced. "Hmmm, it might a bit more serious than a twist. Might be a sprain or even a fracture break."

Niall nods slowly. "Is there anything we can do to get it to heal faster? We can't be in town for long."

"Well, we'll take an X-ray just to be sure. If it's a sprain, rest and ice for a good three or four days should do it. If it's a break, it'll just have to heal naturally." The doctor says with a shrug.

Niall just nods again, hoping for the best. They can't be here for long, it would put them behind schedule.

Aedan hands Teagan back to their mother and smiles wanly. "Sorry, mummy. I'll be more careful next time."

"Its alright sweetheart, it's not your fault." Which is true, it's not like it was on purpose.

The doctor wheels him away for his X-ray.

Twenty minutes later, they're back. "Good news! It's just a severe sprain."

Niall sighs in relief, smiling brightly at her son. "We'll just have to rest for a few days, but we'll be back on track."

"Stay off of it as best you can for three or four days. The longer, the better. You should be fine, maybe have a little bit of pain. If you have pain when you're leaving, come back and I'll get you some painkillers."

"Thank you, doctor. How much do I owe you?"

The doctor shrugs. "Nothing. It's a refugee hospital. Our services are free to people seeking shelter."

Niall is just as relieved to hear that, they need the money for the ferry ride anyhow. "Thank you again."

"No problem. If you need shelter, there's a refugee hotel across the street. They'll take you in." The doctor says with another smile. He grabs a compression wrap from the cabinet and quickly wraps Aedan's ankle tightly.

When everything is done Niall takes her children towards the makeshift shelter. Hopefully things would get easier.

\------------

Harry is pacing the office that he's been assigned to. He wants to be out there in Ireland searching for her, but all his injuries from the Great War have him confined to desk work. He looks up as his door is opened. "What?"

John Ryan, a newbie to the office but a veteran from the war, clears his throat. "I have a message for you, Sir."

"Well what is it?" Harry snaps impatiently.

"General Payne, apparently he ran into a Niall Horan and two children. They're coming to London to see you."

Harry's eyes widen. "Did he say anything else? Come on, try and get another message from him!"

"They're doing alright, they don't seem to be harmed. She's already left town and headed for Dublin." He explains.

The man sighs and leans against his desk. "She'll be here soon then? When was this message sent?"

"A few days ago, but received minutes ago."

"Soon... She'll be here soon." Harry says with a smile. "Dismissed, Captain."

"I'll let you know if we get anything else." He nods his head and exits, leaving Harry in silence.

Harry picks up the picture he has of his old friend and looks at it longingly. "Just be safe. Dear god, be safe."


	4. It's a Long Way to Tipperary, It's a Long Way To Go

Niall breathes a sigh of relief as she shuts the door to the room they had been given at the refugee hotel. Aedan and Teagan both passed out almost as soon as their heads hit the pillows and she’s never been more thankful for some time alone. With her children safely locked inside, she steps out for some much needed air.

The sun hadn’t fully set yet so the streets are still lively, but not terribly so. She seems to blend in well enough here and no one gives her a second glance. She walks along, hand cradled to her still flat stomach. Now that she knew she was pregnant, she knew what signs to look for. She could feel the hardness below her fingers that had first appeared when she had been pregnant with Aedan and she wanted to cry. She didn’t know if this baby would look like Sean or Harry and that worried her.

Obviously, now that Sean was dead, she was expected to either remarry or live the life of a widow. While she was certain that Harry would make sure that her and her children would be protected and taken care of, she didn’t know if he would be as excited as she was hoping he would be. It had been two months since their reunion and one month since she and her family had been on the run. Would he hate her for leaving Mullingar?

A shoulder brushed her own and she flinched hard. She turned to see a face she had hoped to never see again. “D-Darragh.”

His eyes widen and he grabs her wrist tightly, pulling her into a small alleyway between buildings.

“No! Let go of me!” She thrashes wildly trying to escape.

“Niall! Niall, stop! Listen to me.” Darragh’s eyes dart from side to side, like he’s looking for something and can’t seem to find it. “You can’t be here. Bressie controls Kilkenny. If he knows you’re here he’ll kill you and your children.”

Those words feel like ice through her veins. She stops struggling, thinking of her children. “Haven’t you already done enough? You forced me to sleep with you or you’d hurt my children. Why? Why are doing this? You and Sean were friends.” She breaks down, tears falling down her face as the weight of her situation finally crushes her.

“Look, Sean and I were friends until he courted you. I told him that I wanted to marry you and he immediately pursued you. He knew how much I wanted you and he just… He stole you from me. I thought that once he was dead I’d finally get my chance, but once you saw me in Bressie’s home I knew I’d never get my chance.” Darragh sighs and runs a hand through his hair. “This is the time. You need to go back to wherever you’re staying and leave Kilkenny as soon as you can. Bressie will kill all of you.”

Niall shakes her head. “We can’t leave. Aedan needs at least four days of rest. He’s hurt.”

Darragh huffs and looks to the ground. “Go back to the refugee hotel and I’ll bring you food. Niall, please. It’s too dangerous for you to be out here.”

“I… I need a new dress. This one is going to be too tight. I…” She can’t quite keep her thoughts together. She just needs to keep her small family safe and get to London as soon as she can. She subconsciously brings a hand up to her stomach. “Darragh… I need a new dress.”

“Why is that so- Oh.” His eyebrows furrow in realisation as he watches her movement. “Is it Sean’s?”

She wipes the tears from her face and tries to compose herself as best she can. “Possibly. It might be his… It could also be Harry’s. That’s why I have to get to London. Breslin can’t find out that I-I’m carrying an Englishman’s baby.”

“Fuck,” Darragh’s voice wavers around the one word. “Okay. Okay, go back to your children. I’ll find food for you all and I’ll find you a new dress. I’ll bring it to you. Niall, please just listen to me. Bressie isn’t asking questions. With your history he’ll kill you on the spot.”

Niall looks up at him, anger and hurt written all over her face. She doesn’t want to trust him after everything he’s done, but she can’t let her anger get the best of her. Her children need her. As much as she doesn’t want to, she has to trust him. “Fine. But if I ever see you again once we leave this city I won’t hesitate to kill you. You betrayed Sean and you’ve hurt me more than you will ever know. I have a feeling you already know exactly where to find me. Get my children and me enough food for four days. Then you can come give us more so we can pack up enough to get us to the next city and we’ll leave.”

Darragh nods, a little surprised that she trusts him so easily. “Of course. I just-”

“Just go.”

\------------

Aedan looks up as his mother enters the room again. “Mummy!”

She smiles stiffly, hoping that she doesn’t convey any hint that something is wrong. “It’s much too stuffy in here. Do you want me to open a window, darling?” She doesn’t wait to hear his opinion before going to air out the room. She pulls the curtains back and looks down into the courtyard outside.

There’s IRA men sitting on the stone half walls, laughing and joking around. She watches them for a minute and tries to picture how her life would have been different if Sean had stayed apart of the IRA or even if he was still alive. She tries to hold back her tears as she thinks about him.

Niall isn’t as strong as she pretends to be though and begins crying as she remembers their short life together. 

\------------

_“Excuse me, Miss? I, uh, I know this probably isn’t the right time considering we’re at a memorial service, but I was just wondering who you here for.”_

_Niall turns to see a man with warm brown eyes and dark hair. His face still has it’s boyish charm, and she can’t help but find herself smiling at his warm gaze. “My father and brother. They both died in the war. And some friends, but they weren’t Irish.”_

_“I’m sorry about your family. My name’s Sean,” he reaches forward for her hand. “How did you come to be friends with non-Irish soldiers?”_

_She takes his hand in her own, shaking it lightly. “Niall. I served for about a year before they figured out I'm a woman. Downside of being shot in the side is that they have to take your jacket off to get to the wound.”_

_Sean’s eyes widen as he looks at her impressed. “You served?”_

_“Absolutely.” She smiles brightly and drops his hand. “So why are you talking to a stranger at a memorial service? Are you here for someone?”_

_“Well,” he looks to the ground, “my friends and I all joined together. I was the only one who made it back. I lost one friend at Somme and another three at Verdun. I lost so many in Gallipoli… Sometimes I wonder who was looking out for me because there’s no way I should be here.”_

_Niall ducks her head in shame. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t… I’m so sorry.”_

_Sean shrugs, trying to put on a brave face. “There’s a reason I made it home. Don’t quite know why yet, but there’s always a reason.”_

_She bites her lips softly. “Would you like to grab a drink sometime? The pub on Pearse Street is a favourite of mine.”_

_“Anytime you want.”_

_\------------_

_Sean laughs as he watches Niall beat his brother in an arm wrestling match. “Told you, laddy. She’s all woman and all mine.”_

_Smiling brightly, Niall pats the younger boy’s head in a consoling manner. “Don’t feel bad, James. You have to remember that I fought in a war. We were trained in hand to hand combat and we would spar with our trench mates for something to do. Helped build strength and camaraderie.”_

_James pouts, huffing as he crosses his arms. “But you’re a girl. You’re supposed to be weaker than me.”_

_“Oi, eejit. Keep your mouth shut with that kind of talk.” Sean rolls his eyes and wraps an arm around Niall’s waist. He’s a bit nervous. Introducing Niall to his family hadn’t seemed like such a big deal until it started happening. She’s already charmed his sisters and his brother. All that was left was having her meet his mother._

_That was what he was most worried about. His mother was the cornerstone of their family and he knew that his relationship with Niall hinged on if they got along._

_They sit and talk for a little while longer until they all can hear the door open and close. “James! Get in here and help me. Got enough food to feed an army and no one to help me carry it? Disgraceful. Didn’t I teach you lot better than that?”_

_Niall swallows the nerves and anticipation that suddenly finds its way to her throat._

_“She’ll love you. I know she will.” Sean says quietly and places a kiss to her temple._

_Sean’s mother comes around the corner and stops as she sees her eldest sitting in the living room. She blinks a few times, clearly a little surprised to see him there, before breaking out into a grin. “Well it’s about time you came to see me. You need to come to Sunday roasts more. Once every few months isn’t enough.”_

_“I know. You tell me every time you see me.” Sean rolls his eyes as he stands and hugs his mother. “Mum, I want you to meet Niall. She’s my girl.”_

_Niall stands and fiddles with her skirt, hoping it wasn’t too wrinkled from her sitting for too long. She offers a shy smile and moves to stand next to Sean. “Hello. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”_

_The woman looks over the girl before her. She takes inventory of her stature (tall enough to be intimidating to future children, but short enough to compliment her son), her curves (not quite ample enough to be considered overfed, but supple enough to bear children), and her looks (beautiful long curls and bright blue eyes). Physically, she seemed perfect for her son and, so far, her manners were good. “Nice to meet you as well. Why don’t you help me in the kitchen. We’ll get to know each other more and let the children be amongst themselves.”_

_“Oh,” Niall looks to Sean. “If you’re sure. I have to warn you, I’m very basic in the kitchen. I mostly bake, but I’m more than happy to help.”_

_“Well, maybe you’ll pick up a few things then. Come on.” She turns to head into the kitchen without waiting for Niall to follow._

_Giving her a supportive smile, Sean sends Niall off to follow his mother._

_“So,” the older woman starts as she feels Niall’s presence in the kitchen, “let’s start off with pleasantries. Obviously, I’ll call you Niall and you’ll call me Mary. Next, we’ll progress with the cooking. I assume you can at least make potatoes and the puddings.”_

_Niall nods quickly and grabs an apron from the hook beside the stove. “Of course, ma’am- er, Mary.” She sets about grabbing what she’ll need to make everything that Mary requested her to do._

_“While we cook, tell me about yourself. I want to know where you’re from, everything about your family, and every man you’ve slept with.”_

_Feeling her face light up in embarrassment, Niall starts her story. She tells Mary everything. It’s cathartic really. She tells her things she still hadn’t told Sean, things she might never tell Sean. She talks about her father, her brother, her mother, Louis, Zayn, Liam, and Harry. She talks about her time in the war. She talks about growing up in her family’s four room cottage in the middle of their farming fields. She talks about her schooling and her first kiss to a friend. She talks watching her neighbours fight with the British soldiers that would come to collect their land taxes. She talks about listening to her Gram and father fighting over political stuff that never made sense to her until now. She talks about her deal with Louis and the things she did to keep her secret. She talks about the death of her friends and being shot. She talks about meeting Sean and the whirlwind of their courtship. She talks about her love for him and how she can’t picture her life without him anymore._

_Mary is quiet through the girl’s story. She listens and tries to keep an open mind. She tries to see the options Niall had and tries to think about what she would have done. When Niall becomes quiet, the roast is nearly done and the table is set. She gives the girl a tight smile. “Thank you for telling me. Shall we call the family to dinner?”_

_Niall feels her stomach drop as the older woman turns to call everyone to the table._

_Sean smiles at his girl and takes a seat next to her, taking her hand in his and holding it there on the table in front of everyone._

_Dinner is a quiet affair with the usual chatter between siblings. Mary and Niall stay quiet though; Niall out of embarrassment and Mary because she was still observing. Laughter from Sean and his sisters at James’ expense keep the atmosphere from becoming too tense though._

_Mary clears her throat once everyone had finished eating and her children sit up and take notice. “I would just like to say that I am thrilled to have my family back together again. I love having all my children together under one roof. Makes a mother realise when her babies are growing up. I’m glad we never got rid of your father’s chair so we can still have room at the table for more family. Niall, I appreciate your honesty with me and your willingness to tell me everything. I for one am glad that Sean found such a headstrong woman to keep him in check. I look forward to seeing you again at more family dinners and other holidays.”_

_Sean can’t contain his happiness. He leans over and kisses Niall. “That’s about as good as you’re going to get.”_

_\------------_

_“Where are we going?” Niall laughs as Sean pulls her onto the Ha’penny Bridge. They’re were on their way back to their hotel when the skies suddenly opened up and rain poured down on them. Soaked and shivering, Niall lets Sean pull her across the bridge till they’re standing right in the middle overlooking the river and seeing Dublin spread out around them. “Sean, keep going. I’m being soaked!”_

_Sean looks over at her and loves the way she tries to push her curls behind her ear even though they are untameable in this weather. He turns and wraps his arms around her waist and leans down to kiss her. He keeps his hands on her waist as he pulls back and lets his eyes roam over her face. “I love you.”_

_She smiles up at him and reaches up to wipe the raindrops from his face. “I love you too.”_

_“I know we only met about six months ago, but I really don’t think I picture my life without you at this point.” He steps back and drops down to one knee, never taking his eyes off her face. “Niall Horan, will you please do me the honour of marrying me?”_

_Her breath stops as he pulls out his mother’s engagement ring and hold it up to her as an offering of his love. She loves him so much and she doesn’t think she could ever find anyone else who understands her the way he does. “Sean… Of course I will.”_

_He grabs her hand and slips the ring on her finger, loving the way it fit her perfectly. He stands and kisses her once more, clinging to her as best he can. “Come on. Let’s get back inside where it’s warm and dry off.”_

_\------------_

_Their engagement was only six months. Sean got more and more involved with the IRA and Niall was worried she would be left alone with no one. She begged him to leave the the more dangerous stunts up to the younger members who didn’t have a family. He wouldn’t listened, so she threatened to break off their engagement._

_They married in Mullingar in the Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception. Sean’s family was present as was Niall’s mother and a few members of the town who knew the Horan family. The biggest part of the congregation though was Sean’s IRA friends. Niall hadn’t been happy with it at first, but once he assured her that she and their future children will always come first she relented._

_The moment they stepped out of the church, the celebration began. They had a wonderful party with their family and friends and drank for hours. It was a simple and happy occasion._

_“Oi, Cullen! Shouldn’t you be taking the Missus up to your room then? Got to make sure that this marriage is legitimate.” Shouts and calls for their departure began and soon enough the couple find themselves alone in their home._

_Sean nervously unties his tie and looks over at his wife. “We, uh, we never talked about consecrating our marriage. Are you comfortable with this? We can wait if you’re not ready.”_

_Niall places a comforting hand on his back. “Whenever you’re ready. I’m your wife, you can’t scare me away now.” She kisses him softly and guides his hands to the back of her dress. “Undo the buttons. I want you to take me.”_

_He nods and does as she asks. He fumbles a few times with the small fasteners, but soon enough he gets her dress off “How are you not like worried about this? I mean… What if I’m no good? I want to be able to satisfy you.”_

_“Trust me, you’ll be fine. I love you. As long as you respect me and love me too, then we will be fine.” She smiles softly._

\------------

There’s a knock on the room door that breaks her from her reminiscing. She hastily rubs the tears from her face and looks to her son. He seems to be content to just lay around and listen to the radio with his sister tucked to his side. She finishes her task of opening the window before heading to the door.

She hesitates at opening it remembering Darragh’s words from the marketplace. She doesn’t have any weapon or means of protection and that scares her now more than ever. If she opened the door to soldiers there was nothing between her and death. Her children would be alone in this world and no one would care for them.

“Niall,” a familiar voice calls out from the other side of the door. “Niall, it’s me. I brought the food.”

She lets out a breath she hadn’t realised she had been holding. As much as she hated Darragh, he was the only person she knew wouldn’t harm her. She opens the door and ushers him inside.

“Uncle Darragh!” Aedan cheers up the second he sees the familiar face.

Darragh smiles brightly at the boy. “Hey there, lad. Mummy asked me to bring you some food. Heard you can’t walk right now. What did you do?”

Aedan shrugged and blushed a bit. “I tripped over a tree. Mummy said it was okay though since I didn’t do it on purpose.”

“I’m sure you didn’t.” He ruffles the young boy’s hair and produces a few chocolates from his pocket to keep the boy entertained while he discusses important matters with Niall.

“Thank you,” Niall says softly as the two retreat to a corner of the room far from the children. “I… I don’t trust you, but I have no choice. I know you won’t hurt them, so that’s what I’m counting on. Just… Give me your knife.”

Darragh frowns. “What? What are you-”

“I know you have one; Sean had one too. The one with the IRA symbol on the hilt. I just need something so I can protect my children and myself.” She pushes her curls back behind her ear. “What if it isn’t you at the door? I need a layer of protection, Darragh.”

“You’ll know if it isn’t me at the door. There won’t be a polite knock.”

“Exactly why I want a knife.”

The two stare angrily at each other trying to get the other to break. Eventually, Niall gets her way and Darragh hands over the knife. “Don’t tell anyone where you got that.” He leaves the rest of the food on the table in the corner and leaves in a huff.

Niall locks the door behind him. She turns to talk to her son, but finds him sleeping next to his sister. Smiling softly, she picks up her daughter and climbs into bed with her children. She remembers Sean being so excited about them.

\------------

_“I think she’s sick, ma,” Sean says softly. He had brought Niall to his mother’s house for Sunday roast like normal, but she had been complaining of stomach pains and nausea for the last two weeks. He’s worried about her._

_They’re standing outside the room his mother had prepared for them for the night, whispering to try and keep from being heard by Niall herself. He doesn’t want to alarm her or make her feel worse about not being able to help his mother in the kitchen or eat with them._

_Mary gives him a blank look. “My dear, you’ve been married six months. If you honestly think Niall is sick you should go to a doctor, not to your mother. However, a mother’s intuition is usually right. I’ll have a chat with her. Tell Margaret to start the roast and prepare Connelley’s room for her and her husband. They’ll be here shortly.”_

_She sends him away and slips into the room where Niall was resting. “Sean tells me you’re sick?”_

_Niall sits up, dried tear tracks on her face. “Oh, Mary. I’m so sorry to ruin Sunday roast like this. You know I look forward to cooking with you each week.”_

_The older woman waves away the concern and sits next to her ailing daughter-in-law. “When did you start feeling sick, love?”_

_“About a week ago. I mean, I’ve been feeling under the weather off and on for about a month now, but this is the first time it’s lasted as long as this.” Niall closes her eyes as Mary’s hand comes to rest against her forehead._

_“Well you’ve got no fever so that’s always good.” She eyes Niall’s stomach. “When was the last time you menstruated?”_

_Niall frowns, not seeing the relevance to the question. “Over a month ago. Why? I don’t see how this could be- Oh.” Her eyes widen as she looks at her husband’s mother. “You think…?”_

_Mary nods at her and smiles. “That’s how it started for me with Sean. I wouldn’t say I’m a doctor so anything still might be right, but I think you might be pregnant.”_

_“I… I guess that would make sense. Sean and I have been trying for a while now.” Niall’s hands come to her still flat stomach and feels around for anything. “It doesn’t feel any different though.”_

_“It’s firmer,” Mary says. Her hands join Niall’s and she feels around until she suddenly stops. “You probably can’t tell the difference, but it is more firm. Congratulations, love.”_

_\------------_

_Aedan had been born about seven months after Mary had declared her pregnant. Sean had been beside himself with happiness, spending every moment he could at Niall’s side after his son was born. They had him baptised in the same cathedral where they married two weeks after he was born._

_“They want me to do a mission for them, Ni.” Sean had said as they walked into their home after Aedan’s baptism. “They want a set of eyes and ears in Belfast for a month. They need to know what’s going on up there. They want to know how the rebels are faring up there.”_

_Niall just blinked at him. “Your son was just born. He’s not even a day out of baptism and you want to leave us for a month? I don’t want you going. This is like our marriage all over again. I’m not afraid to take him and head to England; you know that. I don’t have a problem with you wanting an independent Irish nation- I want that too- but you have a family now. It’s time you started acting like they mattered to you.”_

_“This is sort of my job, Niall. The IRA pays-”_

_“Your job is being a butcher in the meat market. They pay you and that feeds your family. You not being there for a month? No pay for that long? Your family will suffer and Aedan needs the presence and support of both parents when he’s this young.” Niall huffs angrily and holds her son a little tighter. “I’m not telling you you can’t go, but I am telling you what the consequences will be if you do go.”_

_Sean doesn’t meet her eye._

_\------------_

_“I’ve asked them to keep me here.” Sean whispers one night in the dark._

_Niall has Aedan balanced on her chest, rubbing softly at the baby’s back to lull him to sleep. She turns to look at her husband. “I’m sorry. I know you really want to help all you can, but… I don’t think I could so this alone.”_

_It’s quiet for a moment before Sean speaks again. “You’re right though. Before meeting you I didn’t have anyone relying on me. My family didn’t know what I did, but mum made enough money and the others as well that they made it through even without the extra money I floated their way. I’m not used to being needed. Our courtship was a whirlwind- married within a year and then Aedan before two years of knowing each other. I think I wasn’t used to the idea of being needed, but knowing your past and that you can well enough take care of yourself and our son made me think that nothing had changed.”_

_“I understand.” Niall smiles softly. “After coming home from the war, I distanced myself from everyone. I was upset. I went to die and I couldn’t even do that right. Going to the memorial service wasn’t even my idea; my friend forced me to go. And look what happened because of that.”_

_Sean reaches over and takes her hand, intertwining their fingers together._

_“You are right though. I don’t need you.” She squeezes his hand tightly. “But I want to need you. I know that if something were to happen to you I could take care of our son or even go to your mother if I need the help, but I don’t want to have to go to them because you made a reckless decision.”_

_He nods. “They didn’t like it, but they understood. I’ll be their eyes and ears here in Mullingar. I’ll also get the reports from across the country and have to report on them all during the meetings, but if it’ll keep me closer to you and Aedan I’m willing to do it.”_

_“I love you.” She smiles and leans over to kiss him as best she can with their son snoring softly on her chest._

_Sean lets his hand come to rest gently on his son’s back. “Should we… I think Aedan needs a sibling.”_

_She giggles and nods._

_\------------_

_Niall is sobbing. She hates this. She doesn’t understand. This is the third time this has happened to her._

_She’s lying in the hospital with Sean seated by her side, trying to reassure her that they can just try again. “Niall… Listen to me, these things happen. We just weren’t meant to have her.”_

_“But I’ve given you Aedan! I know my body can do it. Why can’t it do it again? I just want it to work!” She sobs and reaches out her hand for his. “I want to give you more children. I want us to have a big family. You had three siblings and that’s what I want for Aedan. I just had Greg and I always wanted more. Why can’t I give you more?”_

_“You will, babe. I know you will. We just have to wait until God gives them to us.” Sean takes her hand and kisses it. This was the third daughter they had lost within a year and a half. Knowing that it was a possibility with childbirth and experiencing it are two different things though. Sean couldn’t believe he had already buried two daughters and now had to bury a third. “Faith and Hope will welcome their new sister lovingly in Heaven. She’s in God’s hands now.”_

_“Charity,” Niall says suddenly. “Her name is Charity.”_

_Sean nods. “Faith, Hope, and Charity Cullen.”_

_The room is quiet for a few minutes before the doctor comes in again. He looks just as upset as they do and closes the door behind him. “I’m sorry for your loss. We cleaned her though and a priest prayed for her soul before we prepped her for burial. Did… Did you want to see her before we buried her?”_

_“We… We actually wanted to take her home. We wanted to bury her next to her sisters so she would always be close to home.” Sean looks at the doctor. It never gets easier to talk about._

_“I’ll tell them to wrap her tightly in cloth and spare a blanket so you can carry her home. Missus Cullen, I know this isn’t your first stillborn. I truly am sorry for your loss.”_

_Niall swallows back the lump in her throat and tries to blink the tears away. “Thank you, Doctor.”_

_He nods. “Just try and give your body time to recover before trying again. Childbirth is a traumatic ordeal for the body even if it goes well. I suggest not attempting again for at least nine months. Make sure your entire system has time to heal and come back to a perfectly functioning level.”_

_\------------_

_“I’m worried about her.”_

_Sean turns to look at his mother. She’s always been protective of Niall and makes sure he knows when she thinks he’s treating Niall unfairly. Sometimes he thinks she cares more for his wife’s well-being than his own. “She’s fine. It’s perfectly natural for a mother to grieve after losing a child. “_

_Mary shakes her head. “Grieve, yes. But to sit at their grave all day and leave her son in the care of others? You need to talk to her. You need to make sure she’s okay. A mother’s bond with her children- born or unborn- is strong and having that connection ripped away- not once, but three times- is devastating.”_

_She gets up from her chair to comfort Aedan as he starts to cry. “Charity has been gone for nearly a year and Aedan turned three a month ago. She needs to move on. Maybe… Maybe it’s time to try again.” She leaves the room, hurrying to Aedan’s side._

_Sean knows his mother is right. Sighing, he gets up and heads outside towards his wife._

_Niall hears him coming and turns to see him. She smiles sadly before turning back to the small grave markers in front of her. “They would have been perfect, Sean. They’d have your hair and my eyes- just like Aedan. They would be so happy and carefree.”_

_“Of that I have no doubt. I know you would have made them the happiest little girls, but it’s time to focus on Aedan, love. He needs his mammy, not his granny.” Sean places a comforting hand on her shoulder as he squats down._

_She reaches up to cover his own hand with hers. “I know. I just… I wake up with every intention of making the day about him and I find myself back out here. I don’t feel like I can handle it. I just wake up completely saddened every day and I want to make sure they know I haven’t forgotten them.”_

_Sean kisses her temple before burying his nose in her hair. “They know. Trust me, they know that you still love them and that you’ll never forget them. They know how much you’re hurting, how much you will always hurt. But they also know that Aedan needs you. He needs you more and they will never hold that against you.”_

_Niall breaks down, sobbing, in his arms._

_He hold her close and lets her cry. She needs this. He needs this._

_\------------_

_Niall doesn’t dare let herself hope when she feels herself getting sick again. It feels wrong to hope after losing her three girls, but the hardness below her stomach is telling. She can only hope and pray that this time ends differently than the last three._

_\-------------_

_Sean cries as he holds his daughter in his arms._

_When Niall told him she was once again pregnant, he was worried. With her history, he was of course worried about the baby not making it, but he was more worried about the effect another stillborn would have on his wife. To ensure that it wouldn’t happen again the couple did everything they could to minimize the possibility._

_Niall barely left their bed for nine months, but it was worth it now that Teagan was here and in her father’s arms._

_“Aedan, come meet your baby sister.” Niall smiles happily as Mary hands over her son._

_Aedan is shy and gentle with his sister. He pets her head much like he does their neighbour’s dog and Sean laughs at him. The noise causes Teagan to fuss and open her eyes._

_The moment her children lock eyes, Niall knows that they will be great friends._

_Teagan smiles brightly up at her brother and Aedan laughs and pats her cheek._

\------------

It’s been two and a half days of staring at the walls of their room and Niall is going crazy. Aedan has been restless, wanting to leave the bed or the room. Niall is just as antsy to leave this place behind, but she’s too afraid to move on before Aedan is healed. Their food is in low supply, but she knows that Darragh should return tonight to replenish their stock before they leave and to have her new dress. She just needs to keep her family entertained for a little while longer.

“Mummy, my ankle doesn’t hurt anymore. Can I please get up?” Aedan asks for hundredth time.

She sighs but figures it isn’t a terrible idea to get him used to walking on it again. “Yes, but I want you to take it slow. Stay near the bed so you have something to hold on to.” She looks at Teagan knowing her daughter had started kicking her legs more than usual while they had been in town with General Payne. “In fact, Teagan will walk with you.”

She gets up to grab her daughter from the bed and sit her on the floor near the armchair in the corner of the room. Just because they were on the run didn’t mean she would forget to each her children the basic skills- like walking- that they needed to know so they could survive.

Aedan slowly puts weight onto his foot as he walks around the bed, careful to hold on like his mother told him to. It still hurts a bit, but not nearly as bad as it had before. He wiggles it around, waiting for it be more comfortable. “I can definitely walk on it, mummy. We can leave tomorrow for sure!”

Niall smiles brightly at her son as Teagan holds onto her mother’s hands and does her best to move her feet like her brother. She enjoys the moment, feeling like a normal family and wishing life was this simple once more. 

A knock on the door shatters that illusion.

Putting Teagan on her hip and picking up the knife Darragh left her with her free hand and heads to the door. “Who is it?”

“Darragh.”

She breathes a sigh of relief and opens the door for him. “Was beginning to wonder if you were going to come in the morning. The sun is pretty low in the sky right now.”

“Bressie knows you’re here,” he says quickly as he enters the room. He sets the food and package on their small table and turns back to face Niall. “Apparently he got the papers you signed at the refugee hospital. He’s looking for you and the children.”

Her face drains of colour at the thought. She doesn’t know what to do. They were pretty recognizable to any IRA man who knew her husband. There was no way they were going to make it out of this town alive. “Darragh…”

He sighs and looks to the floor. “I have a plan, but I know you aren’t going to like it at all.”

“Anything. I will do anything to make sure my children make it out if here safely.” 

“You need to leave the city tonight, but don’t take Aedan with you.” Darragh looks at her, his face as serious as can be. “I’ll deliver him to you tomorrow morning, but for now you have to trust me.”

\------------

Niall hugs her son tightly. She knows Darragh’s plan is the best solution, but it still scares her. It requires a lot of acting on Aedan’s part and she isn’t sure her son is up to the challenge. “Are you sure you can do this, lovebug? I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable or like you have to do this.”

Aedan shakes his head. “I do have to. It’s to keep you safe and I promised daddy.”

“I’ll take good care of him. He’ll be safe with me. It’s only until tomorrow morning.” Darragh squeezes the boy’s shoulder gently.

Niall wants to tell the man that she doesn’t trust him, but he’s been loyal so far. “Okay. Just… Do it.”

Darragh nods and turns the boy around so he’s facing the village and has his back to his mother. Pulling his gun from his waistband, Darragh aims to the left of Niall’s head. “I promise, he’ll be safe.”

She nods and swallows the fear rising inside her. She never liked having a gun trained on her.

He pulls the trigger, sending a bullet into the tree behind Niall and making the woman gasp and her knees buckle from the sheer panic at being shot at. The loud crack of the gun causes Teagan to begin crying.

Following the plan, Darragh begins shouting at the baby trying to get her to be quiet. When she doesn’t stop crying, he fires again.

Niall covers Teagan’s mouth and holds her close to comfort her as well as muffle her cries. When she hears no sounds around them she looks to Darragh with tears in her eyes. “Go.”

He nods and pushes Aedan forward towards the city.

\------------

Darragh kneels in front of Aedan and frowns. “You know what you need to do, right? You need to tell them that your mammy is dead and so is your sister. I’ll tell them that I’m sending you to live with your Granny. Don’t talk to them unless they talk to you. Look at the floor as much as possible okay.”

Aedan nods quickly, terrified of actually speaking.

“I’ll take you back to the woods to meet up with your mammy tomorrow. You’ll be back on your way to London soon.” Darragh gives his shoulder a squeeze before standing and pushing open the meeting room doors.

Breslin looks up, eyes widening as he sees the young boy. “Darragh… What is he doing here?”

“Niall’s dead. I was going to spare the children. Figured the pure Irish blood was a waste and we could raise them properly. There was an English patrol close by when I shot her though. Couldn’t get the girl to stay quiet so I shot her too. He was smart enough to keep his mouth shut.” Darragh shrugs and pushes Aedan forward a step. “I’ll take care of him. I have family he can stay with until we can lay down our arms.”

“I specifically wanted her brought to me. I wanted proof she was dead and all you’ve brought me is her bastard.” Breslin sighs heavily, annoyed that Darragh hadn’t done what he wanted.

Tightening his grip on Aedan’s shoulder slightly, Darragh clears his throat. “You’ve seen how she is with her children. The fact that he’s here without her should be proof enough that she’s dead. She’d never willingly let her children go.”

“True,” Breslin looks over the boy. “He’s going to stay here though. He’ll be a message runner for us. The English won’t think to stop a small child. He’s the perfect cover. He can stay with you for the night.” He waves the two away.

Darragh nods and leads the boy out of the hall.

“Follow them. I don’t trust Darragh,” Breslin says to one of the soldiers. “And should he be lying, kill him and the whore.”

\------------  
Darragh takes Aedan back to his small room for the night. “Try and get some sleep. I’ll be taking you back to your mum in a few hours, but it’s probably best you aren’t up all night and too tired tomorrow.” He clears his clothes from his bed and motions for the young boy to get in.

“Uncle Darragh,” Aedan says in a soft voice, “why doesn’t mummy like you anymore? She said she doesn’t trust you.”

Sighing, he tries to figure out a way to explain everything to the young boy without being graphic. “I made some bad choices that affected your daddy and mummy. I hurt them both. Mummy doesn’t trust me because she’s worried I’ll hurt her again. She has every right to not trust me. I want her to know that I made a mistake and I plan on doing everything I can to try and fix what I did. I need her to know that I will never hurt her or you or your sister.”

Aedan stays quiet as he shuffles around and gets into the bed his uncle was offering him. “I’ll tell her. I want to stay here in Ireland with you and Granny. Maybe if she trusts you she’ll stay here.”

“I don’t think she’ll do that, buddy. Her heart is dead set on England. Someone she cares a lot for is over there and he’ll be able to keep you safe more than I could. She knows that and she knows that keeping you here- with or without me- is not the best thing for you. She loves you so much and will do anything to make sure you’re safe.” He comes over and tucks Aedan in as best he can before placing a kiss to the young boy’s forehead. He blows the candle out on the table beside the bed. “Now get some sleep.”

\------------

Niall waits in the clearing by the town where Darragh had told her they would meet up so that she could get Aedan back. Teagan was in her arms already fed and ready to move on from this horrible city to the next one. She just wanted to make it to London as soon as she could.

There’s a rustle coming from the bushes to her left and she tightens her grip on Teagan and the IRA issued knife hidden in the blankets wrapped around her daughter. She relaxes only when she hears the unmistakable laugh of her son.

“Mummy!” Aedan calls cheerfully as he breaks through the foliage and sees Niall standing there waiting for him. He hurries over and wraps her in a hug as best he can.

Darragh comes into view as well, smiling and looking proudly at the boy. “Interesting kid you got there; sharp too. He’s just like Sean. Make sure he stays out of trouble.”

Niall looks up to the man she used to call friend. “Thank you for keeping him safe. What are you going to tell Breslin?”

“Nothing.” A third voice interrupts them and an IRA soldier enters the clearing, gun trained on Darragh. “Should have known you were a filthy traitor. Breslin didn’t believe you for a minute.”

Niall pushes Aedan behind her to shield him.

Darragh reaches for his own gun and quickly has it drawn. “Come on, Patrick. Put it away. You’re just a kid. You don’t know nothing about this.” He takes a small step towards Niall.

Patrick sneer. “Don’t you fucking move. I’ll shoot you. I’ll fucking blow your brains out.”

Niall once again has the knife in her grasp. She needs to diffuse this situation before her children get hurt. “Darragh, put it down. I’ll… I’ll go back to Breslin. You tried your best but it didn’t work. It’s okay.” She steps forward towards Patrick. “Can you promise me that you’ll take me to Breslin and leave the children unharmed?”

His eyes flicker to her before training back on Darragh. “Aye. I can do take. He’s dead though. Breslin wants me to kill him. You should have just shot the bitch like you said you did. Would have cost you less than your life.”

“Would have cost me everything,” Darragh says softly.”

Niall looks to her husband’s friend, a slip of gratitude on her tongue. Instead though, she pulls her hand from the blankets. In quick movements, she thrusts the blade of Darragh’s knife into the younger man’s torso and twists it deep before yanking it out.

A shot is heard and she turns in fear towards Aedan, but realises too late that the gun had still been trained on Darragh.

Falling to his knees, the stabbed man spits in the direction of his old comrade. “For a united Ireland, you sick son of a bitch.”

Darragh is on the ground, breathing already ragged. With shaking hands, he grabs at his chest to try and stop the blood from spilling out. “Niall… Niall…”

The woman is quick to his side, cradling his head. It’s a moment of deja vu for her and all she can picture for a moment is Zayn laying his head in her lap much the same way. “Hold on, Daragh. We’ll get you help. Just hold on, please.”

He shakes his head, knowing he was done for. He knows a kill shot when he feels it. “Get out of here… Take the kids… Breslin is going to come investigate the shot. Go…”

Teagan is wailing from the loud sound and Niall has never felt so helpless. Aedan is crying too, trying to get his uncle to get up and come with them. They stay there by Darragh’s side until he takes his last breath.

Niall doesn’t shed a tear, but she says a quick prayer for his soul before getting to her feet. “Aedan… Aedan, we have to go.”

“He wanted us to stay here in Ireland with him. He said he could protect us.” Aedan is sobbing and trying his hardest to wake his uncle up even though he knows there’s no use in trying. “Come back…”

Pulling her son to his feet and grabbing their supplies, Niall trudges on into the surrounding woods. She can’t stop. She can’t put her children in danger. She already lost her husband and she couldn’t lose them too.

She blocks out Aedan’s sobs and Teagan’s wails and focuses on putting one foot in front of the other. She heads East towards Dublin.

Towards London.


	5. It's a Long Way to Tipperary, to the Sweetest Girl I Know

Niall stumbles through the woods as she drags her son behind her. He’s sobbing and crying out for his uncle and Niall doesn’t know how to comfort him. The boy is only four and he’s already lost his father and watched his uncle be killed in front of him. She hated this island, the pain it inflicted on her children, the pain it caused her mother, the pain it caused her… She would be perfectly happy leaving this place and never coming back.

She finally stops when she can’t hear the noises of the city around her anymore. “Aedan? Aedan, baby, look at me.”

Her son finally calms down enough to look at his mother. Tears are still streaming down his face and he looks desperate for her comfort. “You left him, mummy. You just left him. He could have taken care of us! He could have protected us! We wouldn’t have to go to London!”

“Baby,” Niall say softly as she tries her best to get down to his level. “Baby, listen to me. I know you think Uncle Darragh could protect us, but he’s already done so much damage and hurtful things to you and me and Teagan. He couldn’t protect us.”

Aedan cries harder and throws himself at his mother, wrapping his tiny arms around her neck. He buries his face in the crook of her shoulder and just cries.

It hurts her heart to know that there was nothing she could do to stop this pain for him.

\------------

Their progress is slow.

Niall can feel her body changing now as she knows that she’s pregnant and small things that she chalked up to her being paranoid suddenly seemed like a much bigger deal. Aedan hadn’t talked much since his break down and he seemed hesitant to leave his mother’s side at all. Teagan seems to be the only one in good spirits as she babbles to herself and kicks her legs as Niall holds her.

They come to a stream when Niall decides it’s time for a break. “Let’s stop here. Teagan needs food and I’m sure you do too.” She looks to the sky and frowns at the dark and heavy clouds that she can just barely see through the trees. “Aedan, I need you to get Teagan’s food ready. Can you do that for me?”

The boy nods and sets about trying to find what he needed in the bag his uncle had given them full of food. 

Niall watches him for a moment before sighing heavily. She needs to try and find a shelter for the three of them before it starts to rain. She sets Teagan down near Aedan and starts trying to see what she can do to keep them dry and warm.  
Twenty minutes later, the first raindrop falls as Niall is finishing up their makeshift shelter. “Aedan! Get over here! Quick now!”

Aedan looks up at the sky realising what was to come. He hurries to grab the food to keep it dry and unspoiled and carries it to his mother. “Teagan isn’t-”

The first crack of thunder rips through the sky and Teagan’s cries can be heard by the stream. Niall hurries Aedan inside their home for the night and dashes out to grab her daughter. She holds Teagan close to protect her from the now falling rain and the wind that had picked up.

Warm and dry. That’s all that mattered now.

\------------

It rained for hours.

Niall is worriedly watching the banks of the stream they had stopped at earlier and praying that they don’t rise anymore. Their shelter wasn’t keeping them as warm as she had hoped, but she did notice that the leaves at least kept them dry as best they could.

Another flash of lightning sent Teagan wailing again.

“Mummy? What do we do?” Aedan looked up to his mother, worry in his eyes.

Niall shook her head. “There’s nothing we can do except wait for the storm to pass.”

\------------

“Sir! There’s someone over there!”

Niall stirs as she hears shouting and groans as her back cracks in all the right ways. Her eyes open and it takes her a few minutes to remember why they had fallen asleep and why her dress was damp and her children were shivering.

The voices though… She recognised one of them.

“William?” Her own voice was quiet and rough from lack of use and sleep. She coughed, trying to clear her throat as she called out again. “William?”

“Niall?”

Niall blinks a few times before her vision focuses and she smiles. “William! You’re alive. General Payne didn’t know if you had made it.” She goes to sit up, but his hand keeps her on the ground.  
William looks her over and sees the children clinging to her as well. “Stay here. I’ll get help. We need to get you all to a doctor.” He squeezes her hand lightly before running off and shouting for help.

Not understanding why William hadn’t let her move, Niall tries her best to sit up. A wave of nausea hits her hard. She lays back down and brings a hand up to her head only for where she touched to start burning. Pulling it back, she sees red.

Blood.

She’s bleeding. She’s bleeding which means she got hurt. If she got hurt then her children could be hurt.

She sits up quickly, pushing through the nausea and looks down at her children. They’re shivering and frowning in their sleep, but otherwise look fine. Her heartbeat slows back to a normal pace as William quickly returns.

“Here,” he hands her wool blankets, “strip them and wrap them tightly. I have a car coming to take you three to Baltinglass. The village physician has been told you’re coming. Don’t worry. We’re going to help you.”

Niall nods and does as she’s told. She doesn’t really have much of a choice.

\------------

When Aedan finally wakes up, he doesn’t recognise the room he’s in. That isn’t a surprise though since they’ve been moving from town to town for a long time now. He’s lost count of the number of people who he’s met and the number of people who he’s never going to see again.

His daddy is gone and so is his Uncle Darragh. He can feel the tears welling up, but he tries so hard to keep them from falling. Mummy told him that she would make everything okay and he had to believe her.

That’s when he realises that his mummy isn’t next him and neither is his sister.

He jumps down from the bed he had been on in a panic, wincing slightly as his ankle twinges at the sudden action. He heads over to the door across the room and rips it open, stopping short when he hears voices- voices he recognises.

He calms slightly and heads towards them. “Mummy?”

Niall turns at the sound of her son and smiles brightly. “Aedan! Oh you look so much warmer.” She holds her arms out for him and wraps them tightly around his small frame when he’s in her arms. “Look who found us, baby.”

Aedan looks up, smiling when William’s face comes into view. “Willy!”

The older boy smiles back just as brightly. He holds Teagan in his arms and rocks her gently to keep her asleep even with the conversation going on around her. “Hello, Aedan! Mummy was telling me about everything you’ve done since we last saw each other. You’ve done such a good job taking care of her and Teagan. She even told me you were part of a plot to trick the IRA. You’re becoming quite the little soldier.”

“I hurt my ankle too. I had to stay in bed for three days!” He makes a disgusted face at having to stay so still for so long. “I was bored, but mummy left the radio on so I got to hear some music. I snuggled Teagan a lot.”

William laughs.

Niall pets at her son’s hair, zoning out from the conversation and letting the boys catch up and talk. She’s never been more thankful to see a familiar face and to see such a smile on her son’s face. She thinks about them shivering and whimpering under the makeshift shelter and she knows they wouldn’t be alive if William hadn’t found them when he did.

“Are you really?” Aedan’s shrill voice brought her back to the moment.

“Absolutely,” William’s smile was even brighter. “I got my orders this morning. My orders are to accompany you and your sister and mummy to London. You have someone very important looking for you and your family. He wants to make sure you are safe.”

Aedan looks up at Niall. “Is it your English friend, mummy? Is he really going to make sure we’re safe?”

Niall nods, a small smile gracing her lips at the mention of Harry. “Yes, baby. He wants us all to be safe and unharmed and to make it to London so he can take care of us.”

\------------

Aedan and Teagan are asleep when Niall sits down with William at the small dining table later that night. She had made them tea, but brought a bottle of whiskey and two more glasses with her just in case. “I haven’t seen your mother since I got here.”

William thanks her for the tea, but pours them both a glass of the amber liquid. “She’s already back in Doncaster. After the IRA burned Mallow to the ground we were separated. I had no idea where she had gone or if she had even made it out alive. I just sort of wandered the countryside looking for her or anyone who would help. I tried to stay from villages since most of them boasted the Irish tricolour, but I stumbled into Baltinglass and I was half starved and near death. I didn’t even look to see if the village was British or Irish. Thank god it was British, but at the time I didn’t care. I figured they’d just put me out of my misery if it was an Irish controlled city.

“They fed me and got me back into good health and wrote to Colonel Styles to account for my placement. He wrote them back to tell them to keep me here. My mother had already written him so he was our go between. That’s the only reason I know she’s alive.” He looks at the alcohol he poured before snatching it up off the table and downing it quickly. He nudges the other glass towards her.

“At least you’re both safe,” Niall says while politely turning down the drink. She can’t. The last time she had drank alcohol while with child the baby had died. She won’t chance the same thing happening again.

William sighs and looks down at the table. “I wrote to Harry the day we found you. I’ve never sent a letter with more urgency and I have never received a reply as quickly as the one he sent back. I will accompany you to London before being sent home to Doncaster.” He squirms a little in his chair, suddenly uncomfortable with what he had to tell her. “I also disclosed your health. I felt it was important that he know your condition and the condition of your children- all three of them.”

Niall swallows the lump in her throat, but nods. “Thank you. I’m sure that aided his decision to have you accompany me.”

“He wants you protected at all costs.” William smiles slightly and looks up at his father’s old friend. “I think he loves you more than his own life.”

“Well,” Niall clears her throat, a bit embarrassed that this boy was now intertwined with her love story, “I should hope he loves me. He’ll have to make an honest woman of me. There is a chance this is his child after all.”

William laughs, grabbing for her glass of untouched alcohol. “I do believe he knows that he might be the cause for your condition.”

\------------

They stayed in Baltinglass for a full week. William was too nervous to start their journey without assurance from the physician that Niall and the children were okay to trek across the countryside. Niall had been worrying, but after many assurances that she would take lots of breaks if need be and that she wouldn’t skip meals, the physician cleared her to travel. He also recommended that Teagan be allowed to stretch her legs whenever they were stopped as her muscles had yet to start to strengthen due to always being carried.

William ensured that they would listen to the advice and take plenty of precautions.

The next day, they were off- heading to Dublin.

Niall wore a larger dress than the one Darragh had found for her, but kept it tight enough to travel by tying the excess behind her. She felt less worried as she carried Teagan in her arms and a small satchel of warm blankets and clothing for her children. William had taken the sack of food they had been provided and carried it with ease. He had slung it over his shoulder like it weighed nothing at all. It was moments like this, with his boyish face and unending capacity for compassion that she saw Louis in him.

Aedan stayed behind them both, covering their tracks and doing his best to show William everything he had learned on their journeys and how he had been protecting his family. He seemed energised once more from William’s presence and Niall couldn’t be happier to see her son so energetic once more.

“William?”

The man made a noise to signal he heard as he slowed down to a stop. He ushered Niall over to a tree, letting her rest.

Aedan smiles brightly as he makes it to his mother. “Have you ever met Harry? Mummy says he’s awfully nice, but what if he doesn’t like me or Teagan?”

William sits as well, patting his lap for the young boy to sit down there so they could have this conversation. He waits for the boy to finally crawl over and get comfortable before ensuring he has his full attention. “Harry will love you and Teagan. He loves kids in general, but because your mummy loves you, he’ll love you to the moon and back. See it’s a funny thing, love. It makes people do things they never would have considered. I don’t think Harry would take in just any child; if he wanted to do that he could go to the orphanages and pick out any child he wanted. Instead, he asked me to make sure you and your sister and your mummy get to him safely because he wants to protect and love you.”

“But,” Aedan frowns as tries to think, “he’s not my daddy.”

“Not biologically, and you might never see him as your daddy emotionally, but he still loves you.” William doesn’t know how to explain everything to a four year old. “Do you think of me as your daddy?”

“No,” Aedan giggles.

William smiles. “But I still love you and want to make sure you’re safe. It’s the same for Harry, except he wants to do that until you’re old enough to start your own family. I want that too, but I won’t be there everyday like Harry will be.”

The small boy scrunches his nose in confusion. “So Harry will be just like my daddy, but won’t be my daddy?”

“You never know. Maybe one day you’ll love him so much that he will become like your daddy.”

Niall smiles to herself as she tries to listen to their conversation. She wants Aedan to have a sense of privacy for his thoughts and even a person to use as a sounding board. She knows how stressful this whole ordeal has been for the boy- losing his father, having to be the man of the family, losing his uncle- so she is forever grateful for William being the sort of big brother that Aedan need right now in his life.

Teagan, who had been holding onto Niall’s hands and standing (albeit a bit wobbly), lets out a squeal of happiness. She picks her foot up and stomps it back down like all babies do when learning that they can use their feet for more than kicking.

William laughs and looks over to the smiling girl. “Oh, Miss Teagan, how could I forget about you? I bet you’ll charm the pants right off any boy who so much as looks at you.” He reaches out for her.

Aedan quickly scrambles up and goes to grab his sister’s hands to help her make the small walk.

Niall watches, content. She knows that things won’t always be this easy- and god knows they haven’t had the easiest time getting to where they are now- but with William helping them and Harry waiting for them, things will be easier.

“Alright. While we’re stopped, how about some food?”

\------------

They made it to Dublin in record time. It usually took three days to make it to the new town, but with William navigating and taking some of the stress and pressure off they made it in half the time. They breathed a heavy sigh of relief when the capital came into view.

“Stay close. It’s a British port, but it has a double life. Dublin is crawling with IRA spies and soldiers.” William says quietly to Niall. “We have enough food to last us a couple days so we need to find accommodations and then find out when the next available ferry to Holyhead is taking out. Try not to talk about Sean or your time in the service. We don’t want anything that could give away who you are.”

Niall nods. “Use my second name then- Siacailin.”

William blinks at the weird name coming from her mouth.

“It’s the Irish variant of Jacqueline.” Niall tries her best to hide her smug laughter at his confused face. There’s no way he’ll ever learn the correct way to pronounce it correctly. “Or just call me by my mother’s name- Maura.”

“That I can at least pronounce,” he laughs and guides her and the children towards the outskirts of the city. “I’m going to try and find a place close to here. I don’t want us in the heart of the city. Too many things could go wrong.”

“I’ll keep the little ones busy. Go,” she shoos him away.

She finds a fountain in the middle of a crossroads and decides to make the best of the situation and take a rest. Sitting on the smooth stone, she let’s Aedan sit beside her while she sets Teagan down on her feet.

The small girl is once again thrilled at being able to move freely and enjoys the small bit of freedom.

“She’s rather cute,” a woman’s voice chirps suddenly.

Niall turns to see a red haired woman coming towards the fountain with a basket of produce at her side. “Thank you. She looks more and more like her father every day. Seems like she’ll be getting my unruly curls though.”

The woman smiles and comes a little closer wanting to see the child better. “Nothing wrong with a good set of curls. My Annabelle would die for curls instead of her straight locks. Then again, she also wants her mother’s red hair instead of the chocolate ones she’s been blessed with.”

“Funny how we always want what god didn’t grant us with,” Niall smiles up at the woman. She seems nice enough, no intention of hurting her or her children. Now that she’s closer Niall can also tell that the bump below her dress isn’t one from being overfed, but from being full with a baby. “Dear lord. Where are my manners? Please have a seat. You look ready to burst at any moment.”

The woman laughs and waves away the concern. “I am more than ready for this little one to be out. I’ve had them inside me now for about nine months. They’ll be the youngest of seven though so I must always keep working to sell the crops my husband grows. So many mouths to feed doesn’t allow for much time to rest.”

Niall hums. She can barely handle two- well three- so she can barely comprehend the woman’s predicament with six and soon seven. “I’m Maura. Maura… Tomlinson.”

“Siobhan O’Neill,” she replied happily as she switched her basket to her other side. “Are you new to Dublin? Not that it really matters. So many new faces pour into the city everyday so it’s impossible to met everyone.”

“We just got here. My husband is actually looking for a place to stay while we wait for a ferry date. We’re heading over to England to visit a sick relative of his. We’re hoping the ferry wait isn’t too long.” Niall says confidently. It makes her feel weird that lying has become second nature to her, but William’s warning floats through her mind.

The woman frowns, but quickly turns her face to one of sadness. “I would tell your husband to hurry to the ferry. They’re usually full a week or two out.”

“Maura!” William appears at the end of one of the roads that leads towards the fountains.

Niall gathers Teagan back in her arms and helps Aedan down to the cobblestones. “I’ll let him know. Thank you. I hope all goes well with your child’s birth.” She mumbles her goodbyes and hurries towards William.

“I found us a place. Who were you talking to?”

“Just a farmer’s wife. Told her we were married though. Needed an excuse to explain why we’re here. If we see her again, we’re waiting on a ferry to go and visit an ailing relative of yours. She didn’t seem suspicious.” Niall hands Teagan over to the older boy and takes Aedan’s hand tightly in hers.

William nods in understanding. “Try not to talk to anyone. I don’t trust anyone here that doesn’t have an English accent.”

Niall frowns. “Do you not trust me and my children then? These are my people, William. Don’t confuse my hatred for the IRA for a love of England. If I hadn’t gone off to war and seen the men laying down their lives, I would have never pushed Sean to leave. He’d still be alive and we would never have met and I would probably be an IRA spy.”

Feeling well chastised, William holds Teagan a little tighter. “I’m sorry. I didn’t… I just meant that I don’t feel safe when I don’t know who is a spy and who is just a regular Irishman living his life. I just can’t wait to be back in England where I’m not constantly looking over my shoulder.”

“I get it,” Niall sighs. She feels horrible for her words, but she needs William to understand that she doesn’t agree with either side. She doesn’t want the English in her home anymore than the IRA, but she’s seen too much death in her twenty-four years to justify the IRA’s actions.

“I just want to be home.”

Niall agrees with that more than he’ll ever know. She leans into his side for comfort and lets him bear her weight for a moment. With Aedan’s hand clutched tightly in her own and Teagan safely in William’s arms, Niall lets the overwhelming sadness consume her.

She’s lost everything. Her home, her husband, three daughters, her mother-in-law, her own mother, her father, her brother, all her friends from the war, her son’s uncle… She could keep going, but she’s afraid her grief would be so much that she would never recover.

She lets William lead them to the shelter he had found for their stay and tries to hold herself together just a little bit longer. “Me too, William, me too.”

\------------

The next ferry leaving for Holyhead from Dublin was two weeks away. William was uncomfortable waiting so long, but he couldn’t afford to hire a private boat and the English navy had no room for passengers- even those as high up on their radar as Niall and her children.

William had talked the English commander into housing the children, Niall, and himself at the The Royal Barracks though. He felt safer once behind the wrought iron gates that protected the living quarters of the men. Niall however felt more afraid.

Her fear of an IRA attack increased after she saw a plethora of Irish people gathered by the gates shouting and screaming at the guards. It wasn’t so much the crowd that concerned her, but a familiar red haired woman pressed against the gates with a newborn in her arms staring directly at Niall.

“William,” she had whispered, voice filled with terror, “that’s her. That woman- that’s the woman from the fountain. The farmer’s wife.”

William had quickly whisked Niall and the children away to another part of the stretched out grounds.

Aedan loved staying in the barracks. He would wake every morning with the sound of the morning call and giggle happily as William would quickly dress himself and then Aedan as well. The two would then leave their room and Niall would see them sporadically throughout the morning marching with the other men or even doing some physical training with them. The afternoons were him mostly just running through the courtyards and trying to talk to the soldiers. Most indulged him and even looked at the young boy fondly, but some would sneer and say horrible things to him. In true Aedan fashion, he would continue to just be himself and brush off the more hateful comments.

Teagan had become more active as well. She now stood on her own and was attempting to walk before toppling over. William adored her and considered her his whole world. He was by her side every spare moment he had. With the exception of breakfast, he fed her every meal and even got her to expand her palette beyond potatoes, turnips, and carrots. He began shredding up chicken and lamb to tiny pieces and letting her eat them from his plate. He held her at night while she cried from the pain of an incoming tooth and soothed her when she took a nasty fall while trying to walk.

“Niall!”

She looks over from where she was hanging her family’s clothes out to dry.

William was crouched down with his arms opened wide, eyes wide and smile just as big. There in front of him was Teagan, standing on her own two feet and looking over towards her mother with her finger firmly in her mouth.

She smiles brightly and does her best to crouch down to Teagan’s level with her baby bump in the way. “Teagan… Teagan, love, come to mummy. Come here, my beautiful girl.”

Teagan squeals in delight before taking a step towards her mother. Then another, and another, and another before she falling into her mother’s outstretched arms.

There’s cheering and clapping and Niall looks up to see they had an audience of soldiers watching them. She had forgotten for a moment that she wasn’t home with Sean watching her daughter grow. The cheers though, make Niall so happy and the smile on her face was so wide it actually hurt.

William hurries over to them, wrapping his arms around the two of them and holding them close.

“Hey! What about me?” Aedan’s hurt voice can be heard.

Niall laughs and looks over at her son. “Well get over here if you want a hug.”

\------------

“And then William had to take apart his rifle and clean it and put it back together! He did it so fast, mummy! He wouldn’t let me touch it though. He said I could hurt myself and he didn’t want that.” Aedan rambles as he holds his mother’s hand.

Niall had decided that they needed a day to themselves and William had, begrudgingly, agreed. The small family of three were having a lovely day walking in a nearby park and just enjoying nature. The barracks may have been safe, but everything grey. Niall didn’t want her children to forget the feel of grass or the smell of the trees. She wanted them to remember their homeland as the lush green of the rolling countrysides. Dublin was beautiful, but an overcrowded city was not the Ireland she knew nor wanted them to remember.

“He’s right, lovebug. Rifles are dangerous and only cause sadness. You’re much too young to hold one. You really shouldn’t have seen one used in the way you’ve seen, but we don’t live in a perfect world.” She hikes Teagan up on her hip to keep her still. Ever since her steps in the courtyard she’s done nothing but run around. She drives Niall crazy, but luckily William is always there to help as well.

Aedan swings their entwined hands. “Daddy had a rifle. He said it was what put food on the table.”

“That’s because daddy was a butcher. He’d go down to Missus O’Brien’s farm every morning and shoot whatever animal she asked for and then cart it into town to his shop. That’s why we always had fresh meat everyday.” Niall didn’t mind Aedan knowing that rifles could be beneficial if used properly, but she didn’t want him to think that all uses were good.

“Maura Tomlinson.”

Niall froze. She had only told one person that alias.

“Maura, or should I call you Niall Cullen?” The woman’s voice was filled with disgust.

“Siobhan, it’s lovely to see you again.” She puts her best smile on and tugs Aedan behind her skirts. “Whatever can I do for you?”

The woman sneers. “I couldn’t care less what happens to you, but your children don’t deserve to die for your mistakes. I’m giving you a warning. Breslin knows you’re here and when you’ve been booked on the ferry. He’s coming to finish you off himself. I don’t know when or if he’s going to wait, but he wants you dead. For your children’s sake, I hope you’re as tough to kill as they say you are.”

She turns to leave, “be careful who you talk to Niall. We spies are everywhere.”

\------------

“Did she give any indication of knowing where you’re staying?” William asks that night as he and Niall discuss her chance encounter.

She shakes her head. “But she does know. I saw her at the gates that day. William, we need to leave as soon as possible. Can’t the Commander do anything?”

“Let me talk to him in the morning. He might be able to help us.”

\------------

William made his way to the Commanding Officer’s quarters as quickly as possible the next morning, demanding to be seen.

“Private Tomlinson, to what do I owe the pleasure of this visit? Is the Irish woman settled comfortably?” Major Grimshaw asks, voice monotone and clearly disinterested as he never even looks up from the paperwork scattered around his desk.

“I need to know if you have any pull with the ferry companies? Niall’s life has been threatened by the IRA and they’re still looking for her. Once we get her to England, she’ll be a lot safer.” William hopes the urgency in his voice at least conveys the seriousness of the situation. “She was approached by an IRA spy yesterday, sir.”

Grimshaw looks up at that. “A spy approached her?”

“Yes,” William nods, “the woman said that the IRA leader was coming to Dublin to kill Miss Cullen and the woman was worried about the children. Pure Irish blood is apparently a rather rare occurrence here. If you have any pull maybe you could-”

“We’ll set a trap.” Grimshaw looks suddenly excited. “Niall and her children can be the bait. We’ll catch the leader of this Irish Republican Army and end this whole nonsense fighting once and for all. Then she can go to England.”

Frowning, William shakes his head. “That’s not in the orders I have from Colonel Styles. I am to ensure her safely to London. Using her as bait seems as if we are putting her life in danger unnecessarily. I cannot allow this plan to happen.” He swallows the small bit of fear back. “Besides, do you really think killing one man will bring a whole movement to their knees? Cut off one head and two will take its place. His death will make him a martyr and will only rally more Irish citizens to their cause.”

“Or it will demoralise them. What is more important- saving the life of one woman and her children or saving the life of hundreds of your fellow countrymen?” Grimshaw angrily stand from his desk to glower at the young man before him.

It’s silent for a moment.

Then William speaks. “I have orders from higher than you to escort her safely to London. And if I did agree with you, you forget that she is a fellow countryman. Her husband, god rest his soul, was a fellow countryman; the men you want to kill are also fellow countrymen. They all served in the Great War and, until it is otherwise stated, are subjects of the crown.”

He takes a deep breath. “Now, I expect you do to everything in your power to get us on a boat tomorrow or I’ll be writing to your superiors about your interference with my orders. I don’t think that will look so good on your record will it, Major?”

Grimshaw stares at the younger soldier before huffing and sitting back down in his chair. “I’ll see what I can do. Come by tomorrow morning and I’ll let you know what I’ve been able to get done.”

William nods, salutes, and turns to leave the room.

“Oh, and Tomlinson?”

He stops and looks over his shoulder.

“Just remember that daddy’s friend won’t always be in the position to protect you.”

“Is that a threat, sir?”

Grimshaw smiles widely. “Not at all. It’s a promise.”

\------------

“Aedan, let’s stay inside today. I think it’s going to rain and I don’t want you to catch a cold while we’re traveling.” Niall was trying to keep her son from running after William everytime he left the room.

They had decided that since Bressie knew she in the barracks but didn’t know exactly where she was being kept inside the compound, she and the children were to stay indoors as much as possible. William didn’t want to risk anything that would put them in any sort of danger.

The child whined, but came back to sit on the bed at his mother’s side. “Mummy! There’s no clouds in the sky! The sky can’t cry if there’s no clouds!”

Teagan seemed just as restless as her brother, walking back and forth around the room.

Even Niall was starting to go a little stir crazy. Maybe she could do their washing once more before they left.

“Okay. We can go outside soon. Mummy has to wash the clothes and then we can step outside for some air while I hang them to dry. How does that sound?” She tries to placate her rambunctious son.

Aedan nods and starts going around to collect all the dirty laundry that he knows they’ve worn since the last time his mother had done the washing.

Soon enough, the small family is outside. Niall watches fondly as Aedan runs in small spurts and stops to wait for Teagan to catch up to him. It’s heartwarming and tender and Niall can almost picture them back in Mullingar before life became a constant running game. She tries to think of hanging the laundry out on the line with the small vegetable garden next to her. Her children running through the thick, luscious, green grass of the land behind their home. Sean’s arms wrapped around her waist, protectively stoking at her growing stomach like he used to do when Aedan and Teagan were inside her. The sun setting over the rolling hills beyond their home.

“Mummy!”

She blinks a few times, coming back to herself as she wills away the daydream to focus on the time and place. Aedan and Teagan stand in front of her, dirt smeared on her son’s cheek. She laughs at the sight of him and leans down a little to grab her daughter up into her arms. “And just what have my little ones been getting up to?”

Aedan shook his head. “He just played, mummy. I’m hungry.”

Niall looks up to the sky to see that the sun was a little more than halfway across it’s normal path. She was so wrapped up in her daydream that she hadn’t realised how much time had passed and that she had even finished hanging up the laundry to dry. “Well, it has been a few hours since breakfast hasn’t it? I guess we should get you some lunch then shouldn’t we.”

She takes his hand when she sees him. Out of the corner of her eye, she spots Breslin.

Her heart stops.

\------------

“William?” Niall’s voice is quiet as the door to their room opens well after dark.

A small lamp by the door is turned on and the room is bathed in a warm orange glow. “Yeah, it’s me. Sorry. Grimshaw decided to call me to his quarters. He got us on a ferry tomorrow. We need to be at the docks by half past eight tomorrow morning.”

He finally looks at her and freezes as he sees the knife clutched tightly in her hand. “Niall? What’s wrong?”

“I saw him- Breslin. He’s here. He’s in Dublin. He…” Her hands start to shake. “I was out putting the washing on the line and he… He was watching me. I saw him by the back gates. He could have shot me or the children. Why didn’t he?”

William quickly closes the space between them and takes the knife from her. He sheaths it and tosses it onto the bed before pulling the woman into his arms. “Hey now, calm down. Stop crying, you’re safe. It’s okay.”

Niall hadn’t even noticed the tears coursing down her face until he mentioned them. It only causes her to sob more.

Leading her to one of the chairs at the small table in their room, he tries to comfort her.

Neither of them can sleep after her confession.

\------------

Early the next morning, there’s a knock on their door. Grimshaw is making sure they’re ready to go and providing them with transportation to the docks. “It’ll take about a half hour to get to the docks. I’ve got two cars waiting for you. One for your bags and one for the four of you. Probably best to have William ride with the bags since each car will have a driver.”

They quickly pack everything before waking the children and changing them into a new set of clothing for the journey.

“Mummy, where are we going?” Aedan says sleepily through a yawn.

Niall finishes tucking his shirt in and places Sean’s old cap on his head. “We’re finally making it to England. We’re going to ride on a boat and then we’ll be safe. We’ll be safe, I promise.” She kisses his cheek and looks over to see Teagan dressed and curled into William’s side, asleep once more.

They check the room once more to ensure they had everything, grabbing Sean’s old tartan blanket that had fallen under the bed. Niall wraps the material around her shoulders and covers herself and Aedan as best she can with it. She steps outside to see William loading the car with everything they had.

“Take Teagan with you. She’s already asleep again and handing her over will only wake her up and make her fussy.” Niall says as she adjusts Aedan on her hip. Her son was starting to get too heavy and tall to be carried, but she wanted him close to her until they were safely on the boat. “We’ll see you at the port.”

William nods and climbs into the backseat of his car, watching as Niall and Aedan are showed into theirs.

It’s a mostly quiet ride. The only sound comes from Teagan stirring and whimpering in her sleep. He does his best to keep her quiet and asleep throughout their journey. He can see Niall’s car ahead of them and he scans the surrounding area for anything that might be amiss at this early hour.

“I have orders to drop you off just outside the dock. Military vehicles aren’t allowed on the docks. I hope that’s okay.”

William looks at the driver and nods. “Of course. Just get us as close as you can.”

By the time the final boarding call is made, the small family, William, and all their possessions are comfortably tucked into a corner on the main deck. They were at least covered in case of bad weather, but considering how last minute this whole ordeal had been no one was complaining.

The ferry horn sounded, loud in the quiet foggy morning, and the boat started to move.

Niall ducked her head and prayed for safe passage. They were so close. Three hours and they would be on English soil.

_“Welsh soil,”_ William had reminded her many times.

Either way, it wasn’t Irish soil and that meant there was no threat of Breslin or IRA spies to harm her or her family. Once they stepped off this boat, they were safe.

\------------

The issue with being pregnant was a constant feeling of nausea. Being on a boat in the middle of the Irish Channel magnified that tremendously. “William… Can you watch them? I need to…”

He looks at her, seeing a tint of green on her features. “Go. We’ll be fine. Don’t worry about us.”

She smiles gratefully and moves Aedan to the deck of the boat from her lap. She kisses him and tucks the blanket around him before standing and moving off down the main deck for a little bit of privacy.

The cool wind that meets her at the rails at the end of the boat is exactly what she needed and the spray of the sea cools her down a bit. She looks around and sees that she’s perfectly hidden from the view of the other passengers in case she does end up needing to throw up into the sea.

She’s enjoying the moment when she hears footsteps approaching her. She freezes, all sense of calm gone.

“Niall Cullen, or is it Tomlinson? Maybe even Styles? Guess it’s hard to keep track of a woman who spreads her legs for filthy English bastards while her husband is alive.”

A sense of dread runs through her whole body. “Breslin.”

“Did you really think a boat was going to stop me from getting to you?” Breslin takes a step towards her. “I lost two good men because of you. Sean turning down the offer to be my right hand man because of his family and then leaving because he didn’t want a war to hurt you all. Darragh suddenly going soft to ensure you and your children made it away from me safely. You killed them; you and your stupid pride.”

He pulls a knife from his boot, brandishing it to her and almost taunting her with it. “Don’t worry. After I kill you, I’ll kill that English bastard accompanying you, and then I’ll spare your children. Pure Irish blood is so hard to find these days. Irish women being forced into marriages with the invaders or the oppressors just taking the women without a care for them and tossing them aside once they’ve had their fill. Not you though. You gladly welcomed him between your legs and look where that got you.”

“This baby… It might be Sean’s. You can’t kill an innocent child because of my mistakes.” Niall tries to keep her voice steady as her hand flies up to her baby bump to protect it.

“I’ve burned villages with hundreds of innocent children. Yours won’t even cost me a night of sleep.” He laughs.

“Niall!”

Breslin whirls around, knife still drawn and sees William standing there. “Oh look. He knew it was his time to die. How fitting.”

William charges the man, knocking into him and sending the IRA leader to the deck. They wrestle and fight for the upper hand, desperate to assert their dominance. Niall can do nothing but watch as the two roll around the deck, frozen to her spot in fear.

Suddenly, the knife goes skidding across the deck and she knows what she has to do.

She makes a lunge for it, grasping it tightly between her hands as she hears the sound of a gun clicking into place.

“Niall, no!”

There’s a loud popping noise and time seems to slow down.

Niall watches as William manages to knock into Breslin, moving the gun so it was no longer pointed at her. There’s a spray of red on the deck though and she realises someone has been shot. It isn’t until there’s a cry of pain that she realises it’s William.

He clutching at his shoulder, blood oozing out around his hand.

Niall sees red.

She’s lost too many people because of Breslin and she won’t let him take anyone or anything else away from her. Without thinking, she charges at the man, flinging all her weight against him.

He grunts at the impact, losing his grip on his gun and wrapping his arms around her as they tumble to the floor.

She looks down at him and wastes no time taking the knife she clutched so tightly and driving into his heart. She watches the expression on his face shift from surprise to one of fear. She yanks the knife from his chest, satisfied as the material of his shirt stains a deep red as he bleeds out below her.

“That was for Sean, you fucking prick.”

——————

She can feel the moment the boat docks and she hears the people moving about and exiting the ship. They have to move, and they have to move now.

“William, I need you to get up. I know you’re in pain, but the sooner we get the children and get off this boat the sooner we can get you to a physician.” She keeps her focus solely on him, ignoring the dead man not five feet from her.

The injured soldier nods and grabs at the railing of the boat to haul himself to his feet. “Get the children. I’ll meet you on the dock. I need to talk to the captain. Plus, Aedan will make a scene if he sees me like this.”

She’s hesitant to leave him, but she knows he’s right. “We’ll see you on the dock. Be safe.”

He nods and moves as quick as he can towards the crew’s area.

Niall spares one last look at the dead leader at her feet. She doesn’t feel any remorse. In fact, she’s feels vindicated and stronger than ever. With her head held high, she sets about trying to locate her children.

Off to the next city.


	6. Goodbye, Picadilly! Farewell, Leicester Square!

Niall keeps her children close, waiting on the docks for William. Some time had passed and the crew was already checking the tickets for passengers for the return trip to Dublin. Her heart clenched when she realises that the trip back her country was going to be less than half full. Once people left Ireland, they never seemed to want to return.

When William finally reappeared, his shoulder was bandaged and he wore a different shirt. His arm was in a makeshift sling and he appeared to be in minimal pain and optimal spirits. He smiled brightly at the children and only stumbled slightly when Aedan ran to him and wrapped himself around the older boy’s legs.

Laughing, William placed his hand to the back of the boy’s head in a sympathetic and loving gesture. “Don’t worry, little soldier. I’m not leaving you just yet.”

The two head towards Niall and Teagan, Aedan talking animatedly about all the different people he had seen while waiting. “And one guy had a mustache and beard so bushy! I wanted to ask if squirrels lived in it, but mummy said that wouldn’t be nice.”

Niall smiles and reaches out for Aedan’s hand. “Come on, lovebug. Let William have a moment. Looks like he hurt his arm.”

“I’ll be okay. Captain had the physician clean me right up.” William leans over and presses a soft kiss to Teagan’s curls. “Harry has apparently gotten us a car. He wants us to rest for a couple of days and have the children and you checked out by a doctor. We’re going to be staying with his mother in Holmes Chapel.”

“With his mother?” Niall stops walking, looking to the soldier. “He wants me to meet his mother without him present? Doesn’t he think that’s a bit… Unconventional?”

He looks back at her, clearly not seeing the big deal. “What about any of this situation is normal? You’re pregnant with your husband’s child, meeting another man’s family, while being on the run, and your companion is your old fling’s son. Not quite the normal life you probably planned for after the war.”

She sighs, realising that he has a point. “Okay. Onto Holmes Chapel, then?”

William smiles lightly and nods. “To Holmes Chapel.”

\------------

The car ride to Harry’s childhood home didn’t take nearly as long as Niall expected. She figured that the Welsh and English country would be much the same as Ireland’s with long stretches of deserted hills and wandering animals randomly dotted with small towns. It seem like they never fully left the towns though as they drove. Even the vast expanses of farm land were dotted with houses. It seemed a crowded place comparatively.

When the car finally rolled to a stop outside a lovely stone cottage covered with ivy and an entryway surrounded by trellises overflowing with roses, Niall was amazed. Harry never gave the impression of growing up poor, but this home was sprawling compared to the small farmhouse she had grown up in. She admired the garden outside the front door as well as the small tea table tucked away on the porch of the home. She could picture a young Harry sitting outside and taking his afternoon tea surrounded by the flowers.

A woman stood just outside the front door, wringing her hands anxiously.

Collecting what courage she had, Niall exits the car and helps her children out as well, whispering to them to behave. She looked over to see William biting his lip as if to hold in a laugh.

“You must be Niall,” a womanly voice says. It sounds so much like Harry’s that Niall’s knees almost give out as she thinks about seeing the man while looking the way she presently did.

She turns. “Yes. I am so sorry to intrude on your home, but apparently Harry made arrangements for us to stay with you while we rested and recovered.”

“Of course. In fact, I nearly had his head when he said he was going to send you straight to Oxford. I would like to get to know the woman who he has been so infatuated with since the war.” She smiles brightly before pulling Niall into a hug. “My name is Anne and I won’t have you calling me anything else. Any woman who is able to make my Harry see the beauty in this world again deserves my gratitude.”

“Oh,” Niall blushes, unsure of the high praise being administered to her. She doesn’t have a chance to say more though as Anne is quickly chastising William.

“And you,” the older woman turns to focus on the soldier. Her hands curl into fists and quickly find purchase on her waist. “You are in so much trouble! Off galavanting around Ireland and not even a shred of news as to your condition? Your mother had me in a tizzy with her letters about the burning of Mallow and not knowing your condition. Now you show up on my doorstep, bandaged and broken and you expect me to just allow you in?”

William is trying hard to keep his laughter contained. “Of course! You’d never turn away your growing boy.”

Anne shakes her head. “You have a point there.” She smiles at the soldier before turning her eyes to the two children clinging to their mother’s skirts. “And now I see we have another growing boy and a precious little girl to entertain.”

“This is Aedan and Teagan. I apologise in advance for any trouble they cause. They’ve been not allowed to explore in a long time.” Niall introduces her children, pushing Aedan forward so that he could be seen around the gathers of her skirt.

Waving off the concerns, Anne kneels down till she’s eye level with the small boy. “Well, hello. My name is Anne, I’m Harry’s mother. Your mummy tells me your name is Aedan. Is that true?”

The boy nods shyly.

“Well, Aedan, I think I have just the room for you. It used to be Harry’s old room until he was seven. Are you older than seven?”

Again, the boy just shakes his head.

“Perfect. I think you’ll rather enjoy this room then. Harry likes to call it the nursery, but I don’t think it looks much like a nursery. Besides, nurseries are for babies aren’t they? You don’t seem to be a baby anymore. You’re the man of your house.” She smiles when his shy expression changes to one of curiosity and mischief. “Come along. I’m sure you’ll love it.”

The boy hesitantly reaches out for the woman’s hand and softly grabs it.

Anne smiles and waves Niall on to follow them.

\------------

“As you look at Wendy, you may see her hair becoming white, and her figure little again, for all this happened long ago. Jane is now a common grown-up, with a daughter called Margaret; and every spring cleaning time, except when he forgets, Peter comes for Margaret and takes her to Neverland, where she tells him stories about himself, to which he listens eagerly. When Margaret grows up she will have a daughter, who is to be Peter’s mother in turn; and thus it will go on, so long as children are gay and innocent and heartless.” Niall finishes the book she was reading to her children and looks over at them.

Aedan had been tucked in awhile ago, the nightlight above his bed burning bright in case he awoke while she herself was asleep. Teagan is asleep across the room, her nightlight ablaze as well. Niall feels like an actual mother for the first time in awhile.

Her children are safe and clean and well fed and finally sleeping in a bed. She knows the journey has been hard on them and each have handled it in the best way they can. She sets the old copy of Peter and Wendy aside and stands from the rocking chair Anne had shown her in the corner. She can see why Harry would call this the nursery (almost wondered if Anne had purposefully set the comfort level in the room to match the fictional Darling nursery), but she’s forever grateful that Anne had never gotten rid of the room.

She moves to each bed and kisses her children’s forehead before exiting the room. Not feeling tired quite yet, she makes her way through the house towards the kitchen to make herself a cup of tea.

“They asleep?” Anne’s voice greets her as she enters 

“Yes. I haven’t seen them asleep this early since before we went on the run. I can’t thank you enough for taking us in. I know you keep saying that you wanted to, but it seems so strange to accept help now. It’s only been a few weeks, but I feel like I’ve aged indefinitely since my husband’s passing.” Niall’s voice is soft as she sets about starting enough water for both of them to have a cup. “I don’t think I’ve even had time to have a proper cry about it. I don’t think I could though until I’m in London with Harry. He’s been the destination since I’ve been on my own and now…”

Anne covers the woman’s hand with her own in a sign of sympathy. “When Harry’s step father passed, I was the same way. I went into a headspace where my children and their protection became my top priority. Obviously, my situation was not as dire as yours, but I still worried. I look at Harry and my daughter now and know that if I had broken down the way all of my friends were telling me too, we would have never survived.”

The kettle starts to whistle, but Niall doesn’t move. She’s struck by Anne’s words. “I’m so sorry. Harry never mentioned… I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“I think you needed to hear that. You need to know that other woman have dealt with their loss and survived. You are not alone and, if your friendship with Harry goes in the direction I’m predicting, I will be close always.” She looks pointedly down at the woman’s ever present bump. “Now make your tea and then off to bed. You need plenty of rest for your little one’s sake. The physician will also be here tomorrow so that will always be fun. If you are not awake when he arrives, I’ll have him examine the children first.”

She gets up and pats Niall’s shoulder softly before wandering off to her own room.

\------------

“No! I don’t want to take that nasty medicine!”

Niall is awoken by the sound of her son’s voice. She blinks awake, taking in the slant of the sun and realises that she must have slept through breakfast. She’s confused as to who would be trying to give her son medicine when she remembers that the doctor was supposed to be coming today to make sure she and the children were healthy. Sighing, she gets up and quickly tries to make herself presentable to try and calm her son.

When she finally gets to the nursery, she sees William there forcing Aedan to take the medicine the doctor offered up. “We all have to do things that we don’t like, Aedan. Do you think I like wearing my arm up like this?”

“But you’re hurt! I’m not hurt!” Aedan pouts.

“You don’t think you’re hurt,” William says softly. “The doctor just wants to make sure though. Trust me, a foul tasting medicine for a moment or two is better than staying sick and having to take even more medicine.”

Niall steps into the room, one hand resting on her baby bump. “William’s right, love. I want you safe and healthy.”

The doctor smiles and catches Niall up on the examinations of the children. “Aedan was just fine, but I administered some medicine just to be sure. Teagan, however, seems to have developed a fever. I’ve given her medicine as well and I advise she rest. Given her age, there’s no way of knowing if her body will be able to fight everything off.”

Niall frowns at looks at her daughter sitting in William’s lap. She already felt as though she hadn’t paid nearly enough attention to her daughter during their travels, but to know that her daughter had been sick and she had done nothing? She had to be the world's worst mother. “Do you know what it is? Was it something she ate? She ate a lot of root vegetables.”

“Honestly, it’s a waiting game. A lot of children her age get sick quite often, but she’s been exposed to a wide range of elements and such that most children aren’t. My advice would be just to let her rest and keep an eye on her. Have Anne ring me immediately if she gets any worse.”

He clears his throat, looking pointedly at her. “Now, I have strict orders from the man of this house to ensure that you and your unborn child are healthy as well. I think it best we move to your bedroom so that your children can rest.”

She nods and shows him to her room. She quickly loosens the confining dress she had donned moments ago and sits gingerly on the bed. “I’m not sure what this will entail, but please do whatever you need to to ensure they are healthy.”

He nods and quickly sets to work. The doctor checks her over- weight, height, blood pressure, anything he can think of to ensure her health. He frowns momentarily as he finishes his check of her health. “You seem healthy enough. I am a bit concerned about your overall weight. In my experience, you should be heavier than you are if you’re already this far along in your pregnancy. Seeing as you are healthy though, I can safely conclude that your child is also healthy. I recommend plenty of rest since you probably haven’t been doing much of that recently and I even suggest four meals a day. You need to ensure you are getting proper food intake to keep your child healthy.”

She nods. She couldn’t tell you the last time time she actually ate more than a bit of bread and broth for a meal, but she knows that her main focus now had to be that of her child. “I’ll be sure to say something to Anne. We’ll be heading to London soon enough, but until then I can eat as much as I can.”

“I think,” a voice from the doorway interrupts, “maybe you should stay here.”

Niall finds herself staring at the doorway in disbelief. There, in his uniform, stood Harry. His mischievous smirk tucked away on his face. “Harry…?”

The man ducks his head to fight his growing smile. “Thank you, doctor. We’ll be sure to call for you again if Teagan gets worse. I appreciate you coming to check up on my family.”

“Of course. Anytime, Harry. My wife us quite fond of you, you know that. If you should ever decide the military isn’t for you, she’ll gladly have a position at the bakery for you.” With that, the doctor tips his hat and makes his exit.

It’s quiet for all of two minutes before a sob escapes Niall.

Harry quickly hurries into the room and closes the door behind him. He makes his way to the woman, taking her face in his hands and makes her look at him. “You’re safe. God, Niall. I was so fucking scared I’d lost you. When my patrols found Sean’s body I… I wanted to personally come to Ireland and find you. I needed to know that you were safe. Then William said you were in Mallow and before I could respond to his letter, Mallow was destroyed. I felt my heart breaking again. Now you’re here though and I never want to let you out of my sight. Jesus, Niall, I can’t let you make a life in London without me.”

Niall tries her best to get her tears under control, but hearing Harry say those things- the things she had been desperately hoping for- starts a fresh wave of hysterics. “You were always the destination. Even when Sean and I started together, he said we had to get to London- to you. He knew you could keep me and the children safe. I don’t think he ever thought he would make it to England, but, Harry…” She looks up at him. She thinks he knows, but she needs to know that he knows. Taking his hand, she places it gently on the swell of her stomach. “Harry, it’s yours. Sean and I… We hadn’t been intimate since that night we spent together. We never settled enough to truly get that back. We left and made our way west and almost immediately headed back on the run.”

“Mine,” Harry says breathlessly. He can’t believe he could have lost this without ever knowing about any of this. “I’m going to be a-”

“Father. I know it’s a lot to tell you, but I thought you should know everything before you make a decision on wanting me close. We aren’t married or even lovers so you have no obligation to-”

Niall is cut off by Harry’s lips covering her own. She’s stunned at first and nearly pushes him away, but remembers that he won’t hurt her. She lets herself be loved for the first time in weeks- possibly months.

When they finally break apart, Harry kneels before her and places gentle kisses to her bump. “I’ve wanted to ask you this for a long time and I was going to ask when I found you after the war, but obviously there was someone else then. Niall,” he looks up her, smiling softly, “Niall, please marry me. I’ve wanted nothing more than that since the war and now I think is the perfect time. I love you- always have and always will. You need someone to look after you and the children and I can provide that for you. You could stay here with my mother or come with me to London. As long as you marry me, I will be the happiest man alive.”

“Yes.” There’s no hesitation in Niall’s voice. She’s wanted Harry for just as long. She’ll never regret her marriage to Sean or loving him, but her heart has always longed for Harry. “Yes, absolutely.”

\------------

Harry paces nervously outside his wife’s door. He had wanted to take Niall to the hospital, but being the stubborn woman she was, she refused. Her argument was that she had already given birth twice in her home and they were perfectly healthy, but when she went to the hospital they never survived. In the end, Harry didn’t have much of a say when she was suddenly in labour at three in the morning.

“She’ll be alright. Your mother is in there with her,” William placed a comforting hand to the man’s shoulder.

“Would much prefer your mother being with her.” Harry mumbles.

Before William can respond, the door opens and Anne’s smiling face greets them. “Harry? Come meet your daughter.”

The air in Harry’s lungs leaves him at those words. He still can’t believe he’s a father.

Niall is sitting up slightly in bed, face looking freshly washed and hair brushed. She’s holding a small bundle of white in her arms. She looks up to Harry and the smile on her face grows exponentially. “Daddy’s here.”

Harry’s pace quickens at those words and he carefully sits next to his wife and newborn daughter on the bed. He’s greeted with a kiss from Niall and the most gorgeous green eyes staring up at him from the bundle of white. “Niall… Her eyes…”

“Just like yours.” Niall says softly. She’s so happy that her daughter is finally here. She had been telling Aedan and Teadan about becoming a brother and sister and the two seemed rather excited. “She needs a name.”

“I hadn’t even thought about a name.” Harry seems panicked for a moment before meeting Niall’s eyes. She seems ready to laugh at him because she knows that he’s been looking forward to this moment since he returned to Holmes Chapel. “Lydia… Lydia Louise Styles.”

“It’s perfect.”

Anne opens the door once more. She has Teagan balanced on one hip and Aedan holding her hand, but a huge smile takes over her face. “I thought maybe this should be a family moment.”

Soon enough, the five are all squished together on Harry and Niall’s bed.

Niall is so happy to have everyone she loves in one room- Aedan even brought Sean’s tartan blanket to wrap himself in when he got a little cold. Her family is finally complete.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has been a wild ride. Thank you so much for joining me in this adventure. I had a million and one different ways i wanted this to end, but I figure that a happy ending is what you all deserve after all this time. I really hope you enjoyed and I'm super stoked to see where the next writing journey takes me!


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